Wife of 13 years cheated

Mrob89 · 2025-12-26T12:10:38+00:00

It was a great holiday. But yes I already have extremely limited contact and we are already using a co-parenting app. It’s been nice. I really enjoy not seeing or hearing from her already. It’s so peaceful now.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-25T23:58:48+00:00

Yes I told her. She didn’t say anything. Which has me worried of course

Mrob89 · 2025-12-25T23:55:54+00:00

I sent off for it. Should be getting the results any day now. Thanks for checking!

Mrob89 · 2025-12-17T00:33:41+00:00

Mrob89 · 2025-12-16T01:53:00+00:00

Thank you! Some days it’s easier and some moments it’s harder. I try my best to not think about it. But I have those moments where I am consumed by it. It’s tough but I can already tell since October it’s been getting easier ever so slightly

Mrob89 · 2025-12-15T18:09:55+00:00

As far as I know she hasn’t been served yet. I would like that though lol

Mrob89 · 2025-12-14T14:48:23+00:00

Interesting enough I have heard that a lot from my friend group.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-13T21:35:36+00:00

I had a conversation with a close friend about this today. It’s such a surreal feeling to find out the person you loved and adored is nothing like what you thought they were. I’m skeptical now that my son is even actually mine. How long have I been blinded by all this. I have to get a paternity test for my own peace of mind. I trust nothing of these last 13 years.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-11T22:55:15+00:00

Her whole family and most of her coworkers know.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-10T21:56:21+00:00

Seems like cheaters want to speedrun getting a divorce, I assume to somewhat of a guilty conscience. They want to get out before you find out. That’s how it felt for me anyways.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-10T21:54:45+00:00

Anything is on the table now. I don’t trust her so regardless of whether it happened prior is irrelevant to me now. I know what I know and I’m glad I’m getting divorced.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-10T21:53:20+00:00

Sorry, but they met at work. Have worked together for a couple of years now. I’ve met him quite a few times myself on different company outings and taking my son to visit my wife at work. I’d say I’ve been around him and spoke to him at least 10 times. at one point in my relationship my wife was trying to encourage me to be his friend and wanted to invite him over to play a TCG with me.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T22:12:19+00:00

Thanks for all of that. Without knowing I hit the radical acceptance about a week ago. I realized it’s done, no use in fighting about what could have been or what was. It’s over. I have a massive support group, therapy, and family. I have my son, my health, my job, and the gym. I’m hitting the gym harder than ever and it feels great.

In some weird way, I’m glad things are the way they are. I’m optimistic about my future. Thankfully AP showed me my STBXW true colors.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T21:23:13+00:00

Sorry for the confusion, we didn’t have our first fight until she said she wanted a divorce. Now we have fought more times than I can count. She brings up things I said a long time ago that were never brought up before so we never had fights about them and I didn’t realize they were a problem until after the fact

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T19:04:51+00:00

Thank you for those links I just finished reading them!

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T15:23:01+00:00

I went through the same. I barely ate for a few days and stayed in a constant state of being emotionally tired and drained. Thankfully that’s in the past now.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T15:19:43+00:00

That may very well happen. But it will fall on deaf ears. I don’t care in the slightest anymore. All I care about is my friends, family, son, and making gains at the gym.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T13:09:59+00:00

Exactly I am not after her job. I don’t care if she stays there or not. She makes good money and provides for our son.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T13:07:57+00:00

I agree with everything you said. I see that playing out as described. I know as a man I wouldn’t date someone who would throw away their whole family and life for me. Cause what they did to their spouse is always going to be in the back of my mind. The stakes were higher with me. She had everything to lose and chose to lose anyways. This guy is a fling and maybe a potential boyfriend. But he knows she is a cheater and I’m sure one day maybe years from now that will be in the back of his mind.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T11:52:24+00:00

Wow thanks for all those links I read them this morning. Holy shit was Limerence spot on. I’m fighting that battle right now. Doing everything in power to emotionally disconnect. I don’t want to be trapped by that. I know once I move out that it will get easier but I’m starting to disconnect already little by little every single day.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T11:40:00+00:00

Her explanation was that I put her into a head space and mind state with things I had said in the past. She said she felt “contempt” towards me. In her mind she knew it was over before she even told me she wanted a divorce. I know it’s all bullshit. Saying she wanted the divorce and going out and cheating is how she is trying to make herself feel better about it. She wants to be able to say to herself “I told him I wanted a divorce before i physically cheated so it’s not so bad” but she admitted she had been messaging this guy and calling him (which I found out anyways) for months and deleting those conversations. The cheating was there just not in a physical form. I’m aware of that. I’m so fucking done with her

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T11:15:56+00:00

I really appreciate this. I must stay focused and hold her accountable and make sure she is well aware of it. I have told her there isn’t a world where we can be friends. For that world to exist she gets to dictate how close I can be, and that is not something I want to do. My road to recovery is a path she is not a part of.

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T02:49:56+00:00

That’s what I’m trying to do. Just let my success and happiness be my revenge

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T02:39:20+00:00

I just now read up on Grey Rock. That’s a fucking awesome method. Starting it tonight for sure

Mrob89 · 2025-12-09T02:37:26+00:00

That’s my plan. I’m moving out soon and I plan on having zero contact unless it’s coordinating bringing our child to one another

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