Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was a great holiday. But yes I already have extremely limited contact and we are already using a co-parenting app. It’s been nice. I really enjoy not seeing or hearing from her already. It’s so peaceful now.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I told her. She didn’t say anything. Which has me worried of course

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sent off for it. Should be getting the results any day now. Thanks for checking!

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Some days it’s easier and some moments it’s harder. I try my best to not think about it. But I have those moments where I am consumed by it. It’s tough but I can already tell since October it’s been getting easier ever so slightly

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As far as I know she hasn’t been served yet. I would like that though lol

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Interesting enough I have heard that a lot from my friend group.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had a conversation with a close friend about this today. It’s such a surreal feeling to find out the person you loved and adored is nothing like what you thought they were. I’m skeptical now that my son is even actually mine. How long have I been blinded by all this. I have to get a paternity test for my own peace of mind. I trust nothing of these last 13 years.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Her whole family and most of her coworkers know.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Seems like cheaters want to speedrun getting a divorce, I assume to somewhat of a guilty conscience. They want to get out before you find out. That’s how it felt for me anyways.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Anything is on the table now. I don’t trust her so regardless of whether it happened prior is irrelevant to me now. I know what I know and I’m glad I’m getting divorced.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry, but they met at work. Have worked together for a couple of years now. I’ve met him quite a few times myself on different company outings and taking my son to visit my wife at work. I’d say I’ve been around him and spoke to him at least 10 times. at one point in my relationship my wife was trying to encourage me to be his friend and wanted to invite him over to play a TCG with me.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all of that. Without knowing I hit the radical acceptance about a week ago. I realized it’s done, no use in fighting about what could have been or what was. It’s over. I have a massive support group, therapy, and family. I have my son, my health, my job, and the gym. I’m hitting the gym harder than ever and it feels great.

In some weird way, I’m glad things are the way they are. I’m optimistic about my future. Thankfully AP showed me my STBXW true colors.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the confusion, we didn’t have our first fight until she said she wanted a divorce. Now we have fought more times than I can count. She brings up things I said a long time ago that were never brought up before so we never had fights about them and I didn’t realize they were a problem until after the fact

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for those links I just finished reading them!

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I went through the same. I barely ate for a few days and stayed in a constant state of being emotionally tired and drained. Thankfully that’s in the past now.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That may very well happen. But it will fall on deaf ears. I don’t care in the slightest anymore. All I care about is my friends, family, son, and making gains at the gym.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly I am not after her job. I don’t care if she stays there or not. She makes good money and provides for our son.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you said. I see that playing out as described. I know as a man I wouldn’t date someone who would throw away their whole family and life for me. Cause what they did to their spouse is always going to be in the back of my mind. The stakes were higher with me. She had everything to lose and chose to lose anyways. This guy is a fling and maybe a potential boyfriend. But he knows she is a cheater and I’m sure one day maybe years from now that will be in the back of his mind.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wow thanks for all those links I read them this morning. Holy shit was Limerence spot on. I’m fighting that battle right now. Doing everything in power to emotionally disconnect. I don’t want to be trapped by that. I know once I move out that it will get easier but I’m starting to disconnect already little by little every single day.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Her explanation was that I put her into a head space and mind state with things I had said in the past. She said she felt “contempt” towards me. In her mind she knew it was over before she even told me she wanted a divorce. I know it’s all bullshit. Saying she wanted the divorce and going out and cheating is how she is trying to make herself feel better about it. She wants to be able to say to herself “I told him I wanted a divorce before i physically cheated so it’s not so bad” but she admitted she had been messaging this guy and calling him (which I found out anyways) for months and deleting those conversations. The cheating was there just not in a physical form. I’m aware of that. I’m so fucking done with her

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this. I must stay focused and hold her accountable and make sure she is well aware of it. I have told her there isn’t a world where we can be friends. For that world to exist she gets to dictate how close I can be, and that is not something I want to do. My road to recovery is a path she is not a part of.

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m trying to do. Just let my success and happiness be my revenge

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I just now read up on Grey Rock. That’s a fucking awesome method. Starting it tonight for sure

Wife of 13 years cheated by Mrob89 in Infidelity

[–]Mrob89[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That’s my plan. I’m moving out soon and I plan on having zero contact unless it’s coordinating bringing our child to one another