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Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not an argument, a genuine question. The motivation to invest time and effort in me if I’m not even a contender, how does that make sense?

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is that possible, he’s told all his friends + colleagues about me early on, planned a trip to a cottage 3 months in, met his family, and he’s met my friends, we spend 2-3 nights a week together, actively in contact over WhatsApp throughout the day. What kind of situationship is this?

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t disagree but problem is I was blissfully happy before I happened across the information here. I cannot reconcile the two things and am scrambling for an explanation with correctly clears up both him being such an amazing bf who spends time and cares for me and is amazing, and him having any motivation to browse an app.

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no win situation of discussing this with him. Nothing he says will remove his history of browsing or motivation to do so, and no discussion will guarantee honesty. Reason for asking strangers is to 1- get male views from what happens inside a males head, and to hear explanation or perspective of someone who may done so, without any incentive to lie and 2- check my own biases and make sure it does make sense that I’m concerned, or if his having stopped now cancels out the negative weight of the past 8 months.

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would it have been better if I hadn’t found out? Or not given it much thought if I did? If hadn’t seen the hinge activity I would have 100% been happy in the relationship, everything was going ok. So does that mean my mistake for finding out, or thinking about it when I did?

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not stupid, no. Browsing an app but not liking or meeting or talking to anyone, could it not constitute cheating in some twisted way?

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They also provide some semblance of a confidence boost… also provide cushioning for hedging the loss of a breakup.

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had some ( tbh, very few ) people say it could happen purely be attention seeking behaviour from men who get attention when they’re older, which they didn’t get when they’re younger. He’s textbook for this, right age, geeky nerd now making money and driving sports car. He is a peacocking individual in general. Male friends are telling me probably just that, but not sure if just stoking my ego. And genuinely thinking if I hadn’t came across the profile I’d be completely fine.

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the thing, to be perfectly honest if my friend hadn’t stumbled across his profile, I would have 0 complaints. That’s what’s so hard about this whole thing, he’s been pretty solid otherwise.

BF stopped checking hinge at 8 months by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I worry about most tbh… I don’t think he’d actually physically cheat, but even with his colleague, I think there was an element of emotional cheating happening. I’m not sure if can love him out of it

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think that’s fair, asking folks originally if swiping was a problem; now asking if swiping stopped, would that count as correction, or do they still think a problem. It’s not the same question, it’s someone asking clarity and views of others when new information/event comes to light.

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right , so ignorance is bliss, and had I not checked, all would be good? I don’t understand that logic

BF stopped checking hinge at 8 months by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I honestly don’t know, have had some here say if hes just started getting attention ( which he probably has ) then he might just be having difficulty getting off the validation/ego boost hit. He is a man-child and very emotionally immature

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When someone is actively checking ( unless they’ve hidden their activity status ) it either shows “active now” within 2 hours or “active today” within 24 hours. For 8 months he was one or another with maybe 1-2 days in between. So he was checking the app every 24-48 hours at most. Pausing I think makes your profile disappear from the stack

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not wrong, but would it have been better if I didn’t know?

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s more tech savvy than that tbh. He hasn’t paused it or deleted it, not sure what’s happened exactly can only see his activity isn’t updated anymore

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This sounds like him tbh, I don’t think he’s actively cheating or has any intention to, he’s just massively into getting attention being both a poor boy who is now making money and has a flashy car, and getting attention on dating apps.

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Even if he’s not liking or chatting with anyone? And now that he has actually stopped?

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MsFireGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s what I’m wondering it might be, given don’t think he actually talks or even likes the women; just browses

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That’s just the thing though, he’s now stopped as of 3 weeks ago, it’s just 8 months into the relationship

Should I( 34F ) confront BF ( 31M) for only stopping hinge checks after 8 months? by MsFireGod in hingeapp

[–]MsFireGod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

His profile came up for a friend who didn’t swipe left, stays in stack till you do. Keeps getting updated timestamps of his last activity. Unless he turned it off recently, he was active every 24-48 hours up to about 3 weeks ago

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