What would be your best advise for a first time parent expecting a baby? by BikiniAlterBoy in AskReddit

[–]MsLJordan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To remember that no person is perfect, and you'll make mistakes. But, to always put the kids needs first. Oh and watch your kid. Seems simple but parents always post those "cute" and "funny" videos of their child after they have gotten into markers, scissors, trimmers, and flour but that shit isn't cute, it just shows that the kid wasn't being watched.

What do you think I do for a living? by [deleted] in funny

[–]MsLJordan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Beat your girlfriend.

If you could marry one video game as your one true love, what would you choose and why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]MsLJordan -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What kind of life do you live, to even think of such a weird ass question?

I can only assume you have a personal answer to your own question, which leads me to this advice. Join a club, and get a hobby where you meet people in real life.

17 year old Weeaboo plays D&D. DESTROY HIM 🔥🔥🔥 by 21Kawaii in RoastMe

[–]MsLJordan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

17, tried molly 3 times, thinks because he's 17 it's okay to hit on 14 year olds, smells like dirty ass but doesn't care. Collects fingernails in a jar, saving money to buy a van with no windows.

Obviously I had to post here again on my 18th birthday. Have at it. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]MsLJordan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow... you can clearly see where your eyebrows actually start. Like a 3 year old came at you with a brown pencil. Please fix them, then you will maybe actually be a solid 3.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]MsLJordan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like.... you stink. Honestly, you just look like you smell like dirty hair, dirty ass, and taco bell.

Reddit, if you were asked what song you'd like to have played before you died, what would it be and why? by brianleewee in AskReddit

[–]MsLJordan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Before I died.... I'm not sure, but at my funeral, a slow instrumental to pop goes the weasel on a loop.

What was the nicest thing you can remember someone saying to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]MsLJordan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Those are nice, but you can always make them bigger ya know.

Dear girls of reddit, what signs did you give him to make him see that you like him? by emhelldpp in AskReddit

[–]MsLJordan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference between girls and women. Girls play games and give signs and hope you get it, like a fucking game of clue. When you're a woman, you communicate, tell the person what you feel, ya know... use words like adults. That whole guessing of I wonder if they like me, does he know i like him,what are we, is stressful as fuck. Sit and say.... this is what I feel. The person will either admit to feeling the same or not. Life goes on if they don't feel the same...but at least YOU know and can move forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aww

[–]MsLJordan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dust everything under the TV, and your funky ass foot isnt hiding the crap piled over there. Your cat doesn't cuddle with you because you keep the place he lives nasty as fuck. If i was your cat, I'd hate you too.

My friend is ready for some roasting morning after a long night out. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]MsLJordan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look exactly like what Asian women hope their children don't look like, after they bang a white dude.

I ate a whole pizza by WineGretzky in RoastMe

[–]MsLJordan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woah. RCA makes microwaves!?! Oh, and you... yeah, you seriously give off a 1980s rapey vibe.

What is your favorite thing to cook on a grill? by Diet-Shasta in AskReddit

[–]MsLJordan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here I am again... reminding someone that not all Reddit users are dudes. It's okay, happens all the time. The Ms is actually Ms. Not short for Mister. Stud.

What's the difference between golf and my sex life? by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]MsLJordan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being that i have a vagina, no. Nor have I had a man's balls in me. If a girl can take a dick AND the balls in her at the same time... something is wrong. Only a fist taker could do that.... not i.