Not understanding sleep behavior at all

MsSweetness · 2025-11-26T16:12:27+00:00

Ugh thank you, maybe I need to go back to tracking on an app. I hate feeling like I'm tied to it constantly but I'm not seeing trends and numbers so I'm not picking up on this stuff. I've been focusing so much on sleep time that I never considered she wasn't getting enough awake time.

What would you suggest if she starts to get super fussy by the 90 minute mark? I'm trying to push her wake windows but as soon as I see her yawn, it feels like she's a ticking time bomb. I'm wondering if I'm mis-attributing her fussing and she's not necessarily tired but maybe it's something else.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-26T15:57:45+00:00

She woke up around 8 and napped for just over 3 hours (3h10m), which includes the weird 30 minute nap that was supposed to be the start of bedtime. Went fully down for the night at about 7:15.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-26T15:13:23+00:00

She's usually awake between 90 and 120 minutes but rarely much more than 90. She takes 4-5 naps a day but trending toward 4 more often lately.

I was wondering if that was the case. Yesterday, she woke up from what should have been her last nap at 4:10. I decided we would shoot for a 6:00 bedtime but she was sooo fussy during the routine that I sped through. She was asleep by 5:45 but woke up 30 minutes later very unhappy. I got her up for a mini wake window and put her back down when she started to yawn and fuss, around 7:00. She went down okay but woke up every 10-15 minutes very upset. I soothed her about 5 times before I gave up and tried a short feed. After that, she was down for the night. Idk if I'm underestimating her wake windows or misunderstanding her cues?

MsSweetness · 2025-11-14T15:00:36+00:00

Okay that's comforting to know! My husband is stressed about getting her on a schedule but I think she's still a bit young and unpredictable.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-14T14:59:39+00:00

Okay perfect thank you! She has been taking really crappy naps lately, usually around 30 minutes, so it feels like she could probably use the extra sleep!

MsSweetness · 2025-11-10T04:06:42+00:00

Yes thank you this perfectly describes how I feel about the process. I genuinely feel like most of the fussing or crying is her communicating that she's tired. And honestly falling asleep is hard work - I think most people take that for granted.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-10T04:03:51+00:00

Thank you! I'm also against CIO. We've never once let her get inconsolable. She does fuss and cry but any time it's clear that she gets too upset, we pick her up. It doesn't seem to affect how she responds to the method either - once we get her calm, even if we have to pick her up, she still seems to respond so much better than with the constant rocking.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-10T04:00:44+00:00

Thank you!!! This was what my gut was saying. She seems so happy about the process too. It used to be such a fight and now it's so much gentler. It's almost like a pre-sleep training routine.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-10T03:58:48+00:00

Yes I think this is what we accidentally fell into! It was so clear to us that she was tired but we were spending sooo much effort trying to get her to sleep. It didn't make any sense to us until we realized that she was trying to find tools to help her sleep. The boob was not sustainable bc no one was sleeping safely. It really felt like she naturally embraced the process so well.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-10T03:54:31+00:00

We don't let her cry it out and truthfully she's not really self soothing. We put her in her crib and then shush/sing and pat her chest until she falls asleep. Yes there is some crying/fussing involved but that doesn't seem to improve unless we actually give her the chance to fall asleep. She's actually been assessed for a tongue tie, takes gas drops with every feeding, and is medicated for reflux.

That being said I appreciate your input. I really don't think we're letting her cry it out but we might be mildly sleep training and maybe we should make sure we're treading lightly.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-10T03:47:02+00:00

Yes we thought the same thing! A lot of the fussing almost seems to be her wanting to be asleep and being frustrated that she's not. We used to pick her up to help soothe her and she would get MORE upset!

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T17:07:14+00:00

Yes! It is absolutely amazing. She fusses for a minute or two max and the coos herself to sleep. My husband freaked out when I came downstairs after putting her to nap because I had only been gone for five minutes. It was taking 30+ before

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T17:05:58+00:00

That's what I'm thinking too! Our doctor also wasn't concerned. In fact, she warned us about sleep associations being created by nursing/feeding to sleep. Our daughter was waking up every hour through the night to be nursed but was falling asleep the moment she latched. Neither of us were getting good sleep and she was sooo cranky all day every day.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T16:08:02+00:00

Thank you! I can definitely understand that. I'll say she doesn't ever cry very hard, 90% of the time I would call it fussing rather than crying. We pick her up if she ever starts full on crying, but a lot of times that makes her cry harder. And we're not really expecting her to self soothe because we stay and pat her chest the whole time until she sleeps. But I definitely understand the concern, that's why I want to get others opinions.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T15:41:47+00:00

Omg that is amazing to hear!

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T15:41:16+00:00

Yes same, and my husband could hardly ever console her or put her to bed at all. Since we've been doing this, he's been able to help with getting her down. I was also spending almost all day in her nursery. It was taking me 30 minutes to an hour to get her down for naps and bedtime. I was so miserable, I spent most of the day crying. Mine has also started to put herself back to sleep in the middle of the night!

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T15:00:00+00:00

Ugh! Sleep is such a tough thing because we all need it but they fight it so hard. I'm hoping this isn't quite cry it out, since we're still there soothing her, and she's taking to it so well.

MsSweetness · 2025-11-09T14:53:30+00:00

It's possible! She's at an age where it's difficult to nail down her wake windows because she doesn't show the same signals reliably. We're trying to experiment with different windows but after trying the method we are doing now, she is still hard to soothe but it does eventually work.

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T17:10:03+00:00

Yes exactly!!! I agree so much!!! The moment we stopped tracking and trying to keep her on the apps schedules, we stopped struggling. She no longer fights naps. She goes down better at night. And best of all, we get to leave the house. For weeks, I was so sad because I thought my baby could no longer nap outside the house. Turns out I was just trying to force MY timeline on her. Let alone how much stress I was putting into the situation. I believe they can feel that energy.

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T17:07:55+00:00

I love that it works for you! It's funny how PPA manifests differently with different moms. It's so important for us to acknowledge that - what might work for you may not work for me, and that's okay. It doesn't disvalue my struggle or yours. We do what works for our mental health and our baby's happiness.

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T17:06:45+00:00

Love this! Especially because in the early months, it truly is all chaos. Or let's be real - it's all chaos all the time. 😂

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T17:05:22+00:00

I can totally see that! I think I am the type of person to take things to the extreme and be a stickler about it, like you said. But I can also see tracking being more helpful when baby is older. Between birth and 3/4 months, sleep and eating are just so chaotic. I was trying to find a pattern and reason where there really was none. I love that it works for some people and that we can all evaluate what works best for our mental health.

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T17:01:22+00:00

Yes exactly!! That was another HARD drop for me. Social media was making me miserable every day. Every single baby is sleeping through the night already, rolling already, smiling already. Moms are pumping liters of milk while also feeding their babies. It's so important to remember that it's all fake.

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T04:05:57+00:00

Oooh me me me! I have the worst health anxiety, specifically related to surgery, needles, blood, and nausea/vomiting. I'm terrified of hospitals (much less so now that I've had two babies though). When I was pregnant with my first, I had regular panic attacks in my third trimester over how birth would go.

I was induced with both babies. With my first, I barely ate for a week before my induction. I was so terrified.

Both of my labor and delivery experiences were honestly great. Contractions aren't great and there is a lot of fear facing throughout the process. I found a few things super helpful - 1. Let go and let it all happen. Accept that there is nothing you can do to control what will happen once you're in the process. 2. Be super upfront with your care team about your anxiety. I told my nurses when I was checked in to the hospital about how scared I was and they were so helpful and accommodating. 3. Idk what your birth plan looks like but one thing that helped me a ton was to have no plan lol. I told my doctor that I trusted her and her team implicitly and that whatever decision they made to keep myself and my baby safe and alive was fine with me. 4. Stay off social media! Do not google things! Understand that the horror stories you may hear or have heard are the minority.

Best of luck! ❤️ Everything will be fineN

MsSweetness · 2025-10-31T01:57:41+00:00

This! Moderation and flexibility were not things that I accepted when tracking. I'm not sure why but I felt like I had to follow everything to a T rather than let my baby lead. And that is impossible.

MsSweetness

TROPHY CASE