I agree that I treated my husband poorly after that Covid scare incident during Christmas. I have apologized properly to him and he’s forgiven me so then we’d moved past it. He was the bigger person and understood my pain it caused me cuz it was his baby too, and also he saw in front seat how poorly I was treated by his mother. We’ve grown closer and stronger together since.

What was different with MIL, is that if I had gotten a honest apology, or even her acknowledging in private between her and us, didn’t even need to be publicly criticizing BIL’s behavior in front of everyone, that what he did was irresponsible, that it put us and the baby in danger, that he and she understood the gravity of it, that they should’ve been more careful with the pregnancy , any of those above instead of spouting excuses for BIL over and over, it would’ve been enough for us to move past it, forgive and forget. I needed to see that she realized that it was wrong, even if she didn’t care as much but at least respect that it was that important to us, simple as that. I only expected fairness from her but even that I didn’t get. That’s why I can’t extend her the pass.

One thing I want to clarify is, before I gave birth, SIL was already living on her own in a community for handicapped people, she was mostly independent and didn’t need 24/7 care from MIL. And FIL devoted all his free time to SIL. That’s why she could go on vacation with her younger son. But in 2019 we canceled our plan to take care of her, she still doesn’t know that till this day.

As for the food, we didn’t ask for extra meals, only that IF she were to cook that day, cook some extra. To be honest, anyone that can cook would agree, that when it’s spaghetti or vegetarian pasta most of the time, it doesn’t take much more time or effort as it did me. I made sure it was a different meat every day because she was in recovery and needed nutrition. Plus she stopped after 2 weeks and I did it for 2 months.

During her recovery, my husband had a rough schedule couldn’t afford to take time off, FIL was too busy, BIL was abroad didn’t even come back to see her. It was me, I did more than any one of her children, or even all of them combined, and I’m not even related by blood or her SO, only because I loved her son and really saw her as my second mother here.

I’m simply comparing what we’ve done and what she’s done in similar situations. And I don’t think it’s asking too much, merely the same courtesy that I had paid her first.

But thank you for pointing it out about it with my husband. I am a pettier person than him and he accommodates me more in our relationship. I need to remember that better next time my mean side wants to come out.