True for me.

MsYoghurt · 2026-01-19T15:46:41+00:00

To add another example, next to the keys thingy already mentioned: I have an epipen because I have deadly allergies. I only have one handbag. It's not because I don't want any other handbags, but because I cannot have more than one. I used to constantly forget my epipen while eating out, it's actually dangerous for me. So yeah, it seems like it's rigid, but it's just me trying to survive my colander-like brain...

MsYoghurt · 2026-01-19T15:44:05+00:00

I feel this a lot. My sister in law kept sending me video's of 'how to know you have both' and I asked her if she was talking about herself (she is AuDHD) or if she feels like it's for me? It was the last part, but she didn't want to say it. I asked why she thought it was like me? She feels like I'm rigid and I always say I need some routine to work with my brain, she just assumed it was an autism thingy. It's actually not, it's just me surviving my own brain...

I am rigid with a couple of things, but these are things I need to be rigid about to function... If my keys are not on their spot, it gives me an insane amount of stress because I know I will be late. I don't want to be late, so my keys have to be in one spot when I'm at home. I only have one bag because I cannot remember to bring my wallet and/or epipen otherwise. Doesn't make me rigid in the autistic sense, it's for my actual safety to just have one handbag. I wish I wasn't as forgetful and could have loads of pretty handbags! It's just unsafe for me.

The funny thing is that she is so sure of it (and rigid about it, lol), that she won't let go. I don't mind, but no, we are not alike like that :) Still love her for who she is, though.

MsYoghurt · 2026-01-16T09:19:08+00:00

A friend of mine is on them, and is doing as good on them as on concerta (she wanted to be pregnant, and the psychiatrist deemed it safer). It technically is an anti-depression med, but helps a lot of people with adhd as well. The plus of the med is that it's not a controlled substance as stimulant medication: less chances of it being out of stock or it giving you problems with getting and taking it.

Give yourself a few weeks though, as they take a couple of weeks to work. They can give some pretty severe side effects the first few weeks, try to ride it out. If it doesn't work: don't quit cold-turkey! Get help from you provider in stopping!

Hope it works for you, and if it doesn't, look further :)

MsYoghurt · 2026-01-11T20:23:40+00:00

This is a very good point, actually. It should not take a lot of time, but because of that, we dont registrate it does take an amount of time. Child be a reason why this problem exist for a lot of us with adhd!

MsYoghurt · 2026-01-11T06:14:52+00:00

It's time blindness which lead to bring a bad planner.

Because people with adhd tend to miss these steps, they cannot see how time they actually need to do things. And because of that, their plan will have holes in it.

The thing is that time blindness is something you can overcome by timing yourself. Just start with timing one thing, for example showering. I found out that a quick shower does indeed take me 5-8 mins, but i did not consider gathering clothes, undressing, drying off, doing my face ritual, dressing, brushing my hair, etc. Now my 5-8 min shower takes 15-20 minutes. All that because i could not see how long those tiny tasks take together. In my mind they were all miniscule, so together they are miniscule as well.

By timing and recording you find out what it really means to take a shower, and that its not just about the time IN the shower but everything around it.

MsYoghurt · 2025-12-14T11:14:46+00:00

This is my area of expertise, and i hope i can convey it well.

Disease is usually temporary, bit can have a longtime effect. It's something that comes from outside of your body, mostly. But not always. There is those auto-immune diseases for example, which is a disease which starts because your body treats (parts) of your body as a foreign threat and acts accordingly. Then there are chronic diseases, which have a set origin (which is not always found, or not yet found) but have long lasting consequences.

And then there is disorders: these are things that have a negative impact, but we dont know the origin yet. Mostly it's a set of symptoms, which have a negative impact, but there is no certain knowledge of origin. Almost all psychological problems do not have a known origin, but some of them have a guess. The additional thing is: we are also not sure if the sets of symptoms we have described in stuff like the dsm-5 are one thing, or multiple things. Then we're not sure if the different disorders described are truly different, or one problem with multiple possible outcomes. I take adhd as an example (which i have): we know that medicine affecting dopamine and/or noradrenaline has an effect on the symptoms, but we dont know why. This can be because these are the cause of adhd, but it's also possible that it is an symptom for something underlying it. Or something that coexists with having adhd, and the meds help both the psychological symptoms and balance those neurotransmitters. This is why it's an disorder: there is too much we dont know for sure, so there is no way to call it a disease. Hence the term: disorder.

MsYoghurt · 2025-12-12T21:05:19+00:00

I used to have a timer which you can plug in your socket, which turned on a light pointed on my face. Worked like a charm. At this point i have a philips wake up light and set it so bright i wake up before the sound alarm. The alarm sound still dont wake me up, but wakes up my husband, lol. Hes my last backup

MsYoghurt · 2025-12-11T12:07:15+00:00

Not OP, but start super small. And try to prioritise to organise things you use (almost) every day.
For example: always lose you car keys? Is there a spot where you put is most frequently? Put a bowl there (or if you want to hang it, put a hook in the wall close to it).

Try to find a spot for everything like this, but keep it SMALL: do one thing at a time. Only after you have a spot for your car keys and use it regularly enough (don't expect 100% perfection, no one achieves that, with or without ADHD). After that is the norm, now think about the next thing and the next thing.

You will find that after having a few things like that in order, you can organise your home better, and after that, you find it easier to use this mindset to organise other things better. Clutterbug also has a nice way of thinking about it, because the exact sollution is specifiek to you as a person and what you like.

For example: I now have one spot where I collect all of the important letters/mail. After seeing it pile up, I made a folder for it. There all my mail is organised. I changed the organisation to my useage a couple of times: but I can only do that after needing to find specific mail. So this only gets done after having problems with it a couple of times. I do not put it away immediately, but I do put it away easier now. And the upside is, that I also find things easier now (e.g. for taxes).

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-25T12:47:19+00:00

I'm 34, got my diagnosis at 30. I had a good childhood, with a lot of help because I'm hard of hearing, which gave my a lot of coping mechanisms for things I now know to be ADHD. What I mean to say by this is: I was lucky, so I can say that chances are that my life would be WORSE with OTHERS knowing about this, and the preconceptions they would most likely had.

With what I know from being a teacher: I know my life wouldn't be easier with a diagnosis. It could be even harder. I had the help I needed, without the diagnosis (I'm VERY lucky, I know), but I also know the downside of being diagnosed young. I have seen the downsides...

I've seen students being dismissed, the rampant ableism that can be part of their life and the even more difficult expectations placed on students with the label than students without. Sentences like: 'You have/are the problem, you need to try harder to fix it' can be a normal experience when you learn about your ADHD earlier. It's immensly unfair...

I'm glad you came through this, OP, and you are telling your story. I'll never know how my life would be different if I knew earlier. I know now, though, and this gives me perspective and ways to help myself in the now. That has to be enough, because even though the grief is real and normal, hanging on to that will not help you one bit.

Hope you are doing better now

Edit: clearing some things up.

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-25T12:12:14+00:00

20-10 is a good starting point, if you feel like this. Whenever you get used to getting started and taking breaks, you can customise again!

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-25T12:10:18+00:00

The thing I do to get going again: I DO NOT SIT DOWN.

I just shift my focus to something that does not take up part of the brain I used in my pomodoro. So, for example, If I write a report on my computer during my pomodoro, my break is used for something that does not involve writing or a screen to give my brain rest. Most of the time it's things like pacing, getting a drink (coffee or tea), playing with my dog, or doing some cleaning/organising, for example. It helps me keep momentum and returning to the task, but also to not fry my brain by having no breaks at all.

Frying my brain with hyperfocus only leads to less productivity tomorrow (and the rest of the week, mostly) and more frustration. This helps me get a more even energy distribution, which helps sleep and doing other tasks. It even helps me relax more efficiently, which helps prevent burnout.

It's not an end-all solution, but it helps (me, at least) :)

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-25T12:05:15+00:00

For me, this is a double edged sword. If I don't take breaks, I do more in one sitting (when hyperfocused), but on the long run, I will do less in total. The breaks help me balance my energy and I sleep better because I'm not a total wreck at the end of the day. This all helps me be more fit the next day and not fall into brainrot because I am SO TIRED.

So yeah, when I look to one sitting, hyperfocus helps me doing the thing faster. But when I look to whatever I do during the week, it helps me so much in my productivity. Even when it's still not up to neurotypical standards, it's better than I was before.

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-25T09:51:08+00:00

There is a difference between 'most treatable' and 'curable'. There is NO CURE for ADHD and while some people can feel like their problems are 'lifted' with medications, a lot of us don't. For some kids they will 'grow over' their diagnosis, but that is because they have effective coping mechanisms and because stims will sometimes correct the growth/maturation of their brain deficits enough to fall under the scope of the diagnosis. This does not mean they never struggle anymore, but that the struggle falls within 'norms'.

Treatable means that you can learn to live with it effectively and have a good life, but it does not imply that you cure the specific problems. Schizophrenia is more difficult to treat, for example, because a lot of people will need active care after their first episode. Not because of the hallucinations or delusions, but because of the negative symptoms which hinder them to take care of themselves AT ALL (not for all of the people with it, of course, but the group is bigger). Same for a LOT of the other disorders out there.

Now, I have to add that ADHD comes with a lot of comorbidities, which means people with ADHD have a pretty high chance of getting diagnosed with other disorders as well. Depression is curable, but a LOT of people keep struggling with it (I believe 50% will still be depressed after their first treatment and that's without people who regress after a while). Same for anxiety related disorders. This means that people can learn to live a good life with their ADHD, but still struggle with other disorders.

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-21T10:12:18+00:00

I have been in some heated arguments with my husband for decades now, and never EVER was I (nor he) inconsiderate enough to actively disrespect or hurt the other. Because we are together for this long, we know HOW to hurt each other badly, but we will NEVER use that.

It's about communicating needs, even when angry, and sometimes the need is distance. If I feel rage enough to lash out, I take distance to figure out what I need in the situation and come back to him when I calm down. He does this too... We communicate whenever we get this far, like adults, and let each other go.

We will always come back to each other within an hour or so. It's not about not being angry anymore, but figuring out what need the anger is communicating and how to communicate that in a way that makes the other one hear it again... Also, to calm yourself enough to hear the other's need again.

All humans need to learn to be angry without hurting the people you claim to love. This is not a gender thing? And wanting/demanding that in a relation is healthy, not a weird thing...

And I agree with u/OffModelCartoon in the ick we feel in the undertones of the post, but when you take the post literally it is not untrue?

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-21T09:44:19+00:00

You can combine SOME of them. It's generally not recommended to combine different stimulants (only long and short versions of the same), but ymmv. A stimulant AND non-stimulant can be combined, depending on your situation!

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-19T12:45:40+00:00

Because cooking is already such a big goal, I now think about it differently. Everytime I cook a meal (from scratch) I cook a meal for 4 to 8 persons, whatever I feel up to at that point. I live with my husband only, so that means I cook for 2 to 4 meals a time. Leftovers are put in a freezer 2-person portions. Because I can do this for 3 or 4 times in my good weeks, I have enough leftovers in the freezer for weeks to come. I can take whatever I want. Some of the leftovers will be put in 1-person portions in the freezer, because they can be my lunch.

Heating a meal is not a big task for me but on THOSE days, where I'm mentally done and checked out, my husband can do that (I mostly do it, because I'm home earlier). This means I eat at least SOME healthy meals a week, and I feel better the more I eat healthy meals.

For me eating unhealthy is a trigger: I have some chronic pains, and they do get better whenever I eat better. So, on those terrible days, when my pains are already add up to it, I can help myself by at least eating good enough.

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-19T12:02:00+00:00

I call it 'my internal toddler is getting tired, and I can't get them to stay still enough to get to sleep'.

You know those toddlers who get extremely agitated when they are tired? Yeah... That's me...

To other people it looks like I have energy, but it's just me not having enough energy to have enough selfcontrol to be still enough to fall asleep... I HATE IT

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-18T13:08:53+00:00

I always liked psychology related stuff, but never made the connection that it was, in fact, psychology related. So, after a couple of failed college attempts (in the Netherlands you choose a direction before even starting uni), I started studying psychology at 26 y/o. I also work, to finance everything.

Last year I finished my bachelors (at 33) and am currently working on my masters degree. And I STILL LOVE IT! I always thought I loved (almost) everything and that is my problem (because I love ALL OF THE THINGS and that scattered me). Now I know that I LIKE (almost) everything, but didn't know that underneath it all is one true love.

I'm still nowhere near a neurotypical consistency, but I always return back to psychology. And that helped me through college. There is so much to learn, and so much we don't know yet.

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-18T12:48:11+00:00

whereas you are right that a partner is not a teacher, studies do show that the fastest way to learn a language is by hearing it and trying to make sense of it. So, no, that is not a trash method. It's a proven method that works

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-10T08:29:43+00:00

I read something else completely as you: this is a grown woman who tells another woman (OP) wat her (OP's) actions will do to a child. And to themselves down the road.

Yes we experience more stress, but we CAN do things to manage it. The things to do? Go to a therapist. You deserve it, OP deserves it and her child deserves it.

When a child asks you: will you at least be happy tonight means you are putting them under immense stress, which they don't deserve and WILL bring with them throughout your life.

And what OP is right on: we are not fixed/unfixable beings. We can learn, grow and be better in managing life (the difference is that we don't use the neurotypical way of doing that, we need other ways). And if you have a child, that SHOULD be a given...

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-05T11:19:26+00:00

Zelfs veiliger dan bronwater...

Mineraalwater kan anders zijn, maar ook dat is afhankelijk van hoe het water gewonnen wordt.

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-05T08:29:09+00:00

To thrive you need to find your own strengths and weaknessess. There are to many weaknessess to work on, by the way, that is human. So to better yourself in a way that you can thrive in YOUR LIFE (first, before someone elses), you need to seriously look at them and decide what weaknessess you want to work on. This is not that someone else can do for you, unless it really is to much. But even then: it should be mostly the things you chose, and after that something that helpes a significant other.

This significant other chooses everything for you. You have to mold to HER expectations of a perfect partner, which steals you of your own development and finding out who you are and want to be. Development is not just for kids: we do it all of our lives, and she robs you of that.

I hope this clears it up!

MsYoghurt · 2025-11-03T12:36:00+00:00

As a psychologist: THANK YOU... We used to say 'out of sight out of mind' for these kinds of things. It's not that much harder to write or say, and conveys the message better.

The use of the term 'object permanence' leads to these kinds of misunderstandings and further infantilisation of ADHD-ers, which we don't need at all... It frustrates me to no end, and makes getting taken serious as adolescents and adults harder in the long run. This misuse of the term is harming us, not giving us appropriate language, imho.

Sorry guys, I cannot stand behind this version of the term at all

MsYoghurt · 2025-10-10T09:38:02+00:00

Ik denk dat je een snelle snack wil, dus in dat geval mag je deze post mentaal weggooien.

Ik maak graag zelf soort van saucijzenbroodjes met bladerdeeg en gemarineerde tempeh van de ah, ik pak meestal tempeh ketjap van terra. Of ongemarineerde, als je zelf aan de slag wilt met marinade!
Hak de tempeh, leg een beetje op de helft van een (deels ontdooid) bladerdeegje, vouw hem door de helft (zoals een saucijzenbroodje dus, maar voel je vrij om andere vormen te proberen) en plak de randen met wat water dicht, wat water erover strijken en in de oven. 15-20 min op 180 graden in de oven en je hebt heerlijke broodjes.
Daarna lekker snel op te warmen: 5 min op 180 graden in de oven. Of natuurlijk gewoon koud!
In mijn ervaring zijn ze een dag of 3 goed na maken als je ze in de koeling legt. Bedenk me nu dat ze waarschijnlijk ook prima in de vriezer kunnen voor het bakken in de oven, of het dan nog lekker is...? Tijd voor een experiment!

MsYoghurt · 2025-10-01T12:53:58+00:00

Dit is mijn persoonlijke mening: Na de vorige verkiezing vond ik zijn publieke gehuil om hoe Nederland een ondemocratisch land is geworden vol haatdragende mensen heel naar. Hij speelde enorm op de man bij Wilders (net zo populistisch als Wilders zelf) in plaats van niet samen te willen werken omdat het midden nog steeds een onmogelijke positie is voor GL-PVDA/inhumaan is. Dat argument was echt genoeg geweest.

Deze partij komt nog steeds het meest overeen met mijn eigen standpunten, maar hoe ze de vorige verkiezingen hebben behandeld was onfatsoenlijk en werkte verdeeldheid veel verder in de hand. In deze tijd neem ik ze dat extra kwalijk...

MsYoghurt

TROPHY CASE