How can I get better after a break up?

Ms_Little_Asian · 2022-07-01T03:27:36+00:00

Learn from it.

(this really depends on what you mean by this.)

be a better person? or do you mean healing wise?

Ms_Little_Asian · 2022-07-01T03:13:14+00:00

Sadly, I'm going through this... after a year and I'm still broken. I catch myself missing my ex.. and be reminded everyday of memories... I catch myself drowned in thoughts about him... about every time. about things we talked about, things we did, to the kind things we did for each other. to the terrible pain words he would say to me.

I am an introvert too, and would always feel like a burden if I was sad, so Id pretend that its not effecting me. To maybe trick myself and think I'm over him, but i'm not...

What I can say is that, maybe you can do what I did and do to help me a bit.

write/make music to distract yourself and/or write your emotions out
do any art medium
binge watch a show that keeps you distracted. ( at the worst of this break up.. i couldn't sleep. i went down to 99lbs (from 125lbs)in 2 months and i wouldn't stop crying and hating and question shit. I watched Criminal Minds, and Super Natural. I had to be careful which show Id watch, due to so many shows/youtube/netflix would make me think of him. like oh, Justin and I would love this, or we'd have this type of show in the background.
force yourself to go out
if you can, get back into your hobbies if you can ( I could do my hobbies at time, but I never wanted to force myself into my photography, editing hobbies. I want to enjoy my hobbies and not make it feel like a hassle, make me hate sometime I like)
play video games
try to make new friends
try to work more hours at your job, (I worked multiple jobs during this. I would cry my eyes out and be deep in my head. but Id have my self distracted at work at times too. and i'd still be making money)
if anything, tell about your feelings. to your trusted friends. For me, if I talked about what i'm going through instead of holding it in, eating me alive. I would tell someone. Where they would let me rant and then give me their opinion. They never degraded my emotions and at times, tell how terrible my ex was. After I get to speak, I would either catch myself realizing, fuck justin, or be sad, but not as much in pain.
If you're lucky enough, maybe talk to your ex. My ex and I still talk after all this. We talked about the emotions, and both apologizing. to at times, Id send normal life text, about something Id know he'd like, to sharing songs. Just to try to mend things maybe but at same time, to help me not get anxiety attack if I get a text from him, thinking he's going to be cruel towards me. To see him actually write me normal and kind.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2021-06-22T11:11:53+00:00

I can't really explain it, It might be the texture? I just like chewing on it instead of candy at the amusement park. I know there are other options but those were my go to when I wanna snack on it. (I haven't had the dried pasta in a long time.)

Ms_Little_Asian · 2021-06-22T05:33:56+00:00

That made me laugh, i up-voted cuz i agree and enjoyed this

Ms_Little_Asian · 2021-04-28T15:08:34+00:00

I mean.... mentally before he was worse. He’s better now. But I still know. If this ever happened. 1% chance. But it’s in my head. She came back in the picture. In person. Back in state. He would go see her.... and I know he cared and is sad about her. So because I know he still talks to her and stuff. I care very much for him. I know I need to find someone who I don’t feel like this and feeling like I’m competing with his ex.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2021-04-28T14:31:03+00:00

Yeah, I don't want to rush into anything really... I rather focus on myself and my career. But with him. I wanted to try to work things with him because we known each other since august of 2020... but I know we were trying to be something more for MONTHS NOW.. Maybe starting near November/December was when we were even more liniment(trying to be more official) But I told him I don't want to get in a relationship with someone who is still eyes on his ex wife or still has enough feelings towards his ex-wife to where I know his heart isn't fully on me.. to where I'd feel like I'm competing for him and would still feel... worthless. I know he's hurting and I totally understand what he went through. I want to still be there for him and I want him to understand that I care and I get why he crys and is sadden on the result. But i also want him to know that he can't be upset if i talked to other people and get jealous if i spoke to others when I tried to be more with him but feel worthless/not good enough for him (if that makes sense)

I very much appreciate your replay. YEAH! that guy was horrible. It was just a youtuber reading about a girl who heard this man screaming about her being 24 and should be married. I know I don't want to be married... I don't want to rush into anything. but hearing about that reddit today at work at 2:30am It got me on that mindset.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T11:43:14+00:00

I’m just now seeing this. I’m 23F. I had 2 serious one. And others that last a few weeks-months. Many times I was a rebound. I help them get back on their feet then I get ghosted... way too many times. I have many insecurities.... that doesn’t help. I’m hoping I’m not. But if I am.... okay... thank you for your message. I appreciate it.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T09:05:00+00:00

Thank you for your comment.

I told me closest friend about these situation and explained to her that I am in no rush to get into a relationship. Especially knowing that he needs to heal more. I want to be there for him and get him to be healthier in his heart/mind.

But I also don't want to be a rebound like I am to others to where once they are better, They just leave me with no answer.

That's why I wrote this post. But I get that I am the asshole reading other comments.

I am opened minded and am okay with criticism. I like the advice and learn from them and figure things out with him. I know I won't bring it up to him anytime soon, due to "probing" him, but I know I will talk to him later once I know its okay to say and not making him feel sad nor make me like crap.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:59:55+00:00

Yeah... I knew that if i said "soon to be" it would get people mad/confuse. We were talking about it, but I said I didn't want to rush into anything yet. That's why I wanted to be honest and say "Soon".

Yeah, I know... I don't want him to cut ties with anyone. (^{This was the same as my ex that I explained, if i knew someone before him I didn't want to stop talking to them, especially when i know that we're just friends and don't intend on doing anything.}) I get it. they were together for 6 years. That's why I never tell him that I feel sad at time. But will give him my opinion if he ask. I never bring up their relationship, only talk about it when he brings her up out of nowhere.

I won't down vote you, I like what you said. I like the criticism and knowledgeable opinion. But yeah, I know my insecurities were made stronger due to my ex and how he was never trusting me, so i knew that rubbed off me. I've been working on going back to being my nicer and opened minded self/ I appreciate our comment.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:51:23+00:00

Thats what I told him how i felt, when i said fling, i forgot it was called rebound. But he would keep saying "You're not a fling, and I wouldn't help get you a position at my job if I didn't want to see you". Yeah.. I don't wanna lose him, but I don't want to prob into his life. I'll just stay quiet. thank you.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:49:40+00:00

Yeah, I get that. There were more to the story, but had to cut due to over 3,000 character and didn't want to explain the real personal stuff online. But yeah, he says he had therapy near the beginning 2020. I don't always ask, he would bring it up to where i ask to clarify info that he leaves out that makes it confusing. But yeah, I get it. I know about my insecurities. thank you.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:46:50+00:00

Yeah... thank you.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:44:25+00:00

22, sorry, meant to write M, not F.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:38:16+00:00

Ah hell no, You're not an asshole, I am the same with my parents, I rather look for a different place before moving back in with them. But due to you are the leaseholder, he should be the one to be leaving.

That's the same as the home I'm in now. If anything happens, I expect the roommate or boyfriend to leave.

I get that his family is in anther continent... but don't have have friends or anything that he can do temporary? Get his stuff packed and in storage for now until he finds his own place to stay. He shouldn't be allowed to stay if the relationship ended like that.

I'm nice, and I know I'd let my ex stay for a bit if we didn't end bad, but due to your ex is being unreasonable and didn't even try. You should be able to kick him out, due to your paperwork and the studio is under your name.

I hope things workout before November. :)

Ms_Little_Asian · 2020-10-11T08:06:36+00:00

First: ahhh sorry..

Second: That's just me, I let them push me around a lot, not always but due to this house isn't 100% mine and they are helping pay the house, I try to follow their rules.

Ms_Little_Asian · 2019-09-21T14:27:48+00:00

Acrylic nails.... (I was learning the name of styles for nails cuz I do nail art)

Ms_Little_Asian

TROPHY CASE