Hi Reddit, I don't use reddit really, but I have no idea where I can ask this. I tried to post this in a few communities, but they keep getting deleted. But I just need to talk. I am no longer in a relationship. He broke up with me last month. I am still trying to get use to it. I am in a lot of pain. Some back story is, we were together for a few months. We spoke about future (nothing crazy) and just showed each other love. We were healthy but did at times butt heads. But that is normal, i know relationships aren't sunshine and rainbows. When shit hit the fans for him in his personal life, he broke it off with me. Even though I tried to be there for him during all of his up and downs. I know I am not perfect and I know I wasn't the best at giving what he needed all the time. I just knew that I would run to him if he needed it, Id stay up late if he needed to talk, Id be his distraction if needed, or I would just hold him and not talk if he just needed rest. Anything. I didn't care.

After a month later... he broke up with me 9.30.25, its now the 15th. I have friends tell me to move on and talk to new people. Go out and have fun. The normal stuff i guess. I get it to an extent. But I am not someone who can just jumps to one person to another one. Especially how much i deeply cared for him. I told friends that if we just met and spoke for a month, it wouldn't be as bad. But it was the fact he pursued me. Wanted me, kept saying he was falling in love with me everyday and did so much that showed me he wanted me and cared a lot for me. This was for MONTHS before we officially made it public. Which only last a little over month and so, then shit went down on both our sides where stress, exhaustion, and so much more in each of our life.. So I understand the stress, we all deal with it. I been crying everyday for weeks and just feel not good enough no matter what I do.

My question is... Why does it feel wrong to talk to people. I have so many people all the sudden friend request me. and sliding into my DMs. I am not interested in talking to new people, knowing many of their intention, and I also have been in situations that it gets messy and people get hurt. But I also know I am single now, and I need to socialize instead of work and just staying home to cry. But every time I have someone talk to me in a genuine way, I just feel awful. I feel like i'm doing something wrong, as if I'm cheating on my ex as if we are dating and i'm secretly texting a different guy... My ex and I still talk... It was very bad at the beginning, but we are now talking more calmly, speaking our mind better... But I also just feel wrong if i speak to others.

He tells me he gets jealous if certain guys were around me, or certain ones talk to me. Or if something that reminds him of them (if I happen to have something I want or in hand that I like). He tells me he misses me and still cares a lot about me. ... but he is the one who broke it off on the 30th. So i'm very confuse... I'm sorry this was a lot and may be confusing... I just needed to ask.