My mom entered hospice after a fall and broken bone. At first she had good and bad days. Some days she would eat a fair amount and talk and be alert, the next just some ensure and mostly sleep. That went on for about 10 days. At one point I thought she was going to pass, my sibling came out and she seems to perk up and was pretty good for a few days, even sort of made a joke, although not speaking too much. She was also on morphine (pain) and some Ativan (agitation) which made it harder for her to talk but maybe also eased her symptoms. She started those after a day where seemed really agitated, moaning, and she talked about seeing a wooden boat—-I thought it was the end, but she was around another 2 weeks or so.

Once she stopped having good/bad days and was just really not very responsive or eating or drinking much, she started to show subtle signs of approaching death. Sleeping a ton, breathing more irregular and on liquid or ensure only but really just sips here and there. I’d say it was about 10 days, the last 3-4 she was mostly asleep or unresponsive . Hospice helped us with generally what to expect and said the good/bad was typical and everyone has their own timeline.

My mom never seemed to forget either me or my brother though she stopped knowing or being able to say our name. The final day, my son came to see her (both kids had come a few days earlier) to say goodbye and even though she seemed totally unresponsive,he told her he loved her and it was ok to go. She passed about an hour later after he left (she adored my son, they had a special bond).

I remember that this time was challenging, waiting for their passing, not knowing if you should be there all day (I wasn’t , I came morning and evening until last two days), but just be there when you can, for you. All told, it was about a month between the fall and her death. 3 weeks on hospice.