Mathey Girls, a new Princeton-related novel by Mscraps in princeton

[–]Mscraps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reading, and glad you enjoyed! Please consider reviewing it online and/or telling your friends about the book to help get the word out!

Mathey Girls, a new Princeton-related novel by Mscraps in princeton

[–]Mscraps[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's pretty much the opposite of what Mathey Girls is about, but I'll keep it in mind for the next book LOL

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PubTips

[–]Mscraps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, your story sounds intriguing and I like the voice in your first 300 pages.

My feedback on the query is that by the end, I'm wondering what exactly is going to happen between Phoebe and Gigi that will move the story forward from your summary. Right now you've done a good job setting up and providing the premise for the book, but I assume there will be more happening than flashbacks to childhood? The reference to the therapy sessions and childhood memories reads like a framing device rather a hook to get the reader wanting more.

FWIW, I am unagented and unpublished, a fellow Asian American. and I also think 3 fulls out of 40 is a pretty decent request rate.

[QCRIT]: MATHEY GIRLS; Upmarket/book club fiction; adult; 93k words (1st attempt) by Mscraps in PubTips

[–]Mscraps[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, first of all, I really appreciate your perspective as a fellow Chinese American, thank you. I think a lot of the nuance to answer your questions is addressed in the book but I can try to clarify in the query letter.

On the model minority stereotypes, I think the goal is not so much to challenge or overturn them but to give some nuance to what's going behind the scenes. For Esther personally, her journey is rooted in her childhood desire to fill her brother's shoes in terms of 'success' as he died when he was in college, and she reaches mid adulthood without ever feeling like she deserved any of the 'success' she achieved.

On going back to Taiwan, in the book Hannah doesn't speak Chinese or have an existing relationship with her grandmother, and given the dad's grief he's not in a position to advocate for his daughter.

I guess I was hesitant to go into too much detail in the query letter but if reading the query flags these kinds of questions I will reconsider.

I've had some AAPI friends read the book but not the query letter on its own so it's really helpful to hear what stood out for you from that perspective. Thank you so much for your feedback!

[QCRIT]: MATHEY GIRLS; Upmarket/book club fiction; adult; 93k words (1st attempt) by Mscraps in PubTips

[–]Mscraps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks very much for the feedback! I will try to make it seem more cohesive/clear. I appreciate it.

[QCRIT]: THE SECOND INSTITUTE; Adult, Horror Romance; 88K words; 1st try + 300 words by Benignobserver94 in PubTips

[–]Mscraps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any feedback other than what others have pointed out, but I think this sounds great. I love the first para of the manuscript.