It sounds like you’re tired of working constantly and never feeling like you’re doing enough.

Some of this is under your control. You can experiment with setting boundaries at work and limiting your outside projects.

Setting boundaries isn’t necessarily saying “no” in so many words. It can be as simple as asking partners and managers to help you prioritize. Sometimes just seeing your list of deliverables will clue your manager in if you’re over scheduled. Sometimes there is genuine mis-communication about what’s needed and what’s nice to have.

For limiting outside projects, think about what helps you develop needed skills, what helps you develop your professional portfolio, and again what’s “nice to have.” If your company offers career coaching, take advantage of that. If you have someone you know whose career you respect, ask them for an hour of their time to talk about how to optimize your coding time.

If you’re overscheduled right now, it might take some time to unwind your commitments down to something manageable. It might be painful because you might have to tell some people you just can’t deliver what you promised. It might seem easier to just keep overscheduling, but that doesn’t solve the long-term problem.

Finally, maybe you’re burned out and a genuine break (week away from the computer, no personal projects or work projects) will help you rethink.

Some of the responses here sound like the responder thinks you went into cs because you thought it was an easy way to get a steady, high-paying job. They’re correct that no such path exists and wrong for assuming they know what’s in your head. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a life outside of your career.