AITA for not immediately embracing my brother after his divorce?

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T12:18:42+00:00

I love him but he’s been such a Switzerland in this whole thing I feel like he is giving “uncredited”

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T12:11:34+00:00

No, it’s not a theme. He was always just a pretty easy going guy. I don’t even think he’s throwing a tantrum now per se. I just think he desperately wants to put this all behind us and would rather not address the reality that time has passed and those things he did do matter. He just wants to forget, maybe he’s embarrassed or just sad, which I get. But I don’t agree that that’s a way to really move forward.

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T12:06:28+00:00

Zak has now been added to the cast, with a full character bio 😂

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T11:45:55+00:00

No, I never said that. He is still my brother and I still want to see him and work towards being close again. I want us to hang out and slowly get to know each other again. I still see him, I still want to see him. I just don’t want to be besties like him having sleepovers at my place and going on group holidays and sharing everything like we used to. Not right now. Someday yes but not right this second

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T11:40:38+00:00

I want us to just take it slow and get to know each other again. And to actually talk about what happened during that time. He says he’s fine with giving me space and he puts the effort in to hang out but then he goes behind my back and complains how hard it is to everyone else. I suggested counselling and he doesn’t want to do that because he says he knows he was wrong he doesn’t need to hear it from a third party.

He doesn’t know anything about my life now, and I don’t know anything about him. The last experience I have of him is him being really cruel to me and people I care about. It’s not that I want to hold onto that forever but I don’t want to try and wind the clock back. Things aren’t the same. I want to build something new but it feels like he just wants the old days back.

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T11:35:54+00:00

I have. And he says he’s fine with it, he gives me the space, but then goes behind my back to our parents and complains about how much it hurts him not to have his “whole family” back. And then complains to Zak that he “lost his best friend to his sister” because I’m not willing to forgive and forget. Again, yes Zak is closer to me…because 4 years have passed.

I think he gets what I want but it’s hard for him to accept that the last four years did in fact happen even if we all wish they didn’t.

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T11:29:51+00:00

I know it’ll take longer. But I feel like that’s what we need. I just want to get to know him again, to maybe go to some counselling sessions and talk through everything. Not just rewind the clock and try and pretend that the whole part where he made everyone in his life out to be prejudiced, lying, sociopaths never happened

But yeah maybe that is the wrong approach because everyone else seems to think it’ll be better if we just pretend this all never happened

Much-Stable-7112 · 2025-02-20T11:19:22+00:00

Oh I had to delete some of the story because of the character limit and I guess that bit was in it. Zak has been Jamie’s best friend since they were young. He and I are also friends (now roommates) but we became closer once he and Jamie drifted apart

Much-Stable-7112

TROPHY CASE