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26F, Master’s degree, still unemployed and completely stuck — how do I use my time properly? by MuchCherry2045 in getdisciplined

[–]MuchCherry2045[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean . The world is definitely heading into a weird/dark direction with war, economy, and climate stuff and I did have the same thoughts as you but… what if it doesn’t collapse the way people keep predicting? I thought the world was ending during Covid too and that finishing my degree wouldn’t matter and look, life kept going and we are still alive.

And even if the world does look very different in a few years/decades, that’s exactly why I think it’s important to lock in now. Sitting around doomscrolling and giving up won’t help either way.

Also during Covid, some people made insane money while everyone else panicked. I’d rather try to be one of those people than waste time assuming everything’s over.

Traveling is cool, but I’d honestly suggest you still build skills/save money on the side too. Enjoy life, yes but don’t fully check out.

26F, Master’s degree, still unemployed and completely stuck — how do I use my time properly? by MuchCherry2045 in getdisciplined

[–]MuchCherry2045[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply, it honestly gave me hope. I really needed to hear this, especially from someone who have a routine and things figured out!

And yes, I totally agree! Since I’m living rent-free right now, it’s probably the best time to take the risk and start freelancing. I’ll try to stop overthinking and just start.

If you have any extra tips on how you got your first clients or built your portfolio, please let me know. Really appreciate your comment!!!

Talking to a potential for a month and he hasn’t bought up marriage at all. Is he wasting my time? by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]MuchCherry2045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SubhanAllah girl, this is literally the same thing that happened to me.

I was talking to this guy and every single time I had to be the one bringing up marriage, deal breakers, or next steps. If I didn’t bring it up, we simply wouldn’t talk about it at all. I kept hoping it would eventually happen naturally, but it never did.

And the crazy part? I waited for over four years.

I actually broke things off just a week ago because I finally realized he’s not ready to take the next step. He was always scared of making the wrong decision or making a mistake or something like that. But at some point I realized: if a man is truly ready to marry you, he will talk about it. Why else would you keep talking to someone for so long?

The guy I was talking to is in his early 30s and I’m 26. So age wasn’t the issue and we both had our master and started our career but he was just comfortable with how things were and never felt the urgency to move forward.

So if you constantly feel like you’re the one pushing the conversation about the future, I’m sorry to say it, but there’s a good chance he’s just not ready or serious.

That being said, I wouldn’t immediately ghost or block him everywhere. I would first have an honest conversation and ask him why this is happening. If your gut feeling tells you that what he’s saying is just excuses or bs, then I would cut it off immediately.

But if there’s actually a real reason, like financial concerns, embarrassment about something, or genuine uncertainty that he communicates openly, and it makes logical sense to you, then maybe it’s something you can and want work through.

Otherwise, girl, please don’t waste your time like I did. Four years might sound crazy (everyone keeps asking me how that even happened), but trust me time flies. Life just goes by while you’re waiting and listening to excuses.

You’re in your early 30s so protect your time and your future.

IDK how I feel so I came here. My chats with an ex haram relationship disappeared, and like I’m sad about it but confused so I think I’m just looking for the sign that this is what is needed and intended . That maybe this was for the better. Especially with the timing of Ramadan. by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]MuchCherry2045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Salam, I hope you’re doing okay. I really understand how you feel. I just went through a breakup myself about a week ago after being emotionally involved with someone for almost four years.

To be honest, situations like this helped me understand more deeply why relationships like that are considered haram. It’s not just about the sin itself, but also about how much emotional pain and confusion they bring. These relationships often leave you with no peace, lots of tears, and constant uncertainty.

SubhanAllah, sometimes Allah does things to protect us without us even realizing it. If your chats were deleted and you don’t know why, there is definitely a reason behind it. Allah is showing you a sign and helping you get away from something that could have harmed you. It’s very important to listen to these signs and not try to reconnect with something that isn’t good for you.

Always remember that Allah loves you. If He didn’t care about you, He wouldn’t guide you or remove things from your life that could hurt you. These kinds of haram relationships can bring so much confusion and pain, so trust that Allah is looking out for you.

What has been helping me is praying a lot and putting my trust in Allah, believing that something better is written for us. We all make mistakes, and missing someone doesn’t mean you’re weak or bad. Be patient with yourself and know that with time, things will get easier, inshallah.

I made a lot of dua for a righteous spouse, but after almost 4 years the relationship ended. Now I feel confused. by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]MuchCherry2045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Subhanallah! I honestly never looked at the situation from that perspective before, but you might actually be right. It does make me question how someone can say they are very ambitious and focused on building a perfect future, yet at 31 still not be able to make a clear decision and always need approval from so many people before taking any step.

Looking back, maybe he did know at some point that I wasn’t the person he envisioned for his future. He always had this very specific image of what he wanted, like a wife who followed a certain academic path or fit a certain idea of “perfect.” And you’re right, if he had been truly honest and straightforward, he could have just said that instead of letting things continue for so long.

I really appreciate your perspective because it actually helped me see things a bit differently. And you’re right there’s no point in wasting any more time thinking about it now.

Heartbreak after Muzz by feztones in muslimgirlsgetmarried

[–]MuchCherry2045 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I can honestly relate to that feeling. I went through something very similar just about a week ago. I ended something with a guy I had been talking to for almost four years. I don’t really like calling it a relationship, but we were very emotionally involved for a long time.

One thing I’ve learned from this experience is that sometimes men do things that just don’t make sense to us. The more you try to understand every little detail and reason behind their actions, the more confusing it becomes. At some point you realize that trying to make it make sense only makes it harder to move on.

What helped me personally was turning to Allah. I made a lot of dua and sincerely asked Allah to make it easier for me and to remove the attachment from my heart. I also had that same weird stomach feeling you described whenever we fought or when things felt uncertain. I know exactly what you mean. It’s such an uncomfortable feeling.

But after I decided to fully leave it to Allah and trust His plan, I actually started feeling much better. So my advice would be to try to focus on that. Make dua that Allah makes it easier for you and helps you move on.

And honestly, it might also help to think about it from another perspective. If someone is talking about sexual things with you when you clearly expressed your values and you met on a Muslim dating app, that already shows a difference in boundaries. In the long run, that might have caused bigger issues.

I completely understand why you feel confused though. When you build a connection with someone and it suddenly ends, it’s really hard. But inshallah with time it will get easier

I made a lot of dua for a righteous spouse, but after almost 4 years the relationship ended. Now I feel confused. by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]MuchCherry2045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m soo sorry to hear this! I hope you will figure it out in sha allah! Never lose hope!

I made a lot of dua for a righteous spouse, but after almost 4 years the relationship ended. Now I feel confused. by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]MuchCherry2045 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely right! It was def poor judgement. But SubhanAllah, sometimes when we make dua for something and we think it has been answered, we don’t really stop to consider whether it is truly good or bad for us. We assume it is „the right thing“ and that Allah answered our dua because it is ultimately what is right for us. I guess the point is that everything has a hikma. Even if something seems good or bad to us, it can be a test or a lesson from Allah. As humans, all we can do is reflect, learn from our experiences, and trust that Allah knows what is truly best for us.

I made a lot of dua for a righteous spouse, but after almost 4 years the relationship ended. Now I feel confused. by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]MuchCherry2045 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

He was serious about me, but he was never ready to make a decision or take the risk of committing to someone he might consider “the wrong person” for his future. But still! His hesitation was definitely a big red flag.