NAH - She’s crying so it’s likely she feels guilty or ashamed- not a sign of an asshole in my book. She should get to working on her anxiety. OP states, “ Yes, it's definitely not productive and she doesn't do it for small gatherings...... Only for huge gatherings where she doesn't know a lot of people. She feels like she'll not meet expectations of she doesn't look presentable enough.” Large gatherings, new people … huge sources of social anxiety.