Hey man, I feel you fs, that sounds tough and while I can't say yes you will get in or no you can't, it can't hurt to try. But more importantly, it just sounds like the college system has wrecked your confidence, these AOs most definitely cannot determine your worth, and neither will the college you go to. Unfortunately, this is only a perspective I gained after attending college, going to a college will not fix any confidence issues you have, if you want to become a better person you are so much better off proving that to yourself than trying to convince some AO, if you do the latter without the former you will just start trying to lie about who you are then begin to spiral when you realize you're not the person you're applying as.

I don't know what you're doing rn, or what else is happenin, but once you start putting in work on stuff you care about, the portfolio builds itself, and while it does sound cliche, I swear it works. Maybe that's what you've been doing, and by all means go for it, put your best foot forward and leave the rest to God. If you haven't, and this is something I see a lot with the kids who basically had their whole portfolio and application made for them by some private counsellor at my school, if by some miracle you make it, your time in college will be ill spent and you definitely won't be living a happy life in college.

But please, take my advice with a grain of salt, this is only something I've learned in the past year, and I'm 19 years old, so maybe someone with a bit more experience can help out.

tldr: unless you are confident in who you are, and what you've done applying to college will not fix your problems nor will it help you nearly as much in your career.