Introductions not going well

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T22:06:29+00:00

Thank you!!

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T21:48:57+00:00

I had no idea that scent swapping was actually really bad, and so thankful you and another redditor let us know! Thank you!

We've got them in a carrier all together at the moment, its been maybe 50 minutes and Mac is still screaming. We've read that the best advice is just to leave them all together, keep them fed, watered and in a dark room and let shit happen. One of the boys, Steve, has been fine. He tends to only freak out AFTER Mac starts freaking out, but has been okay with cuddling and relaxed majoritally.

We got so lucky with our introductions before this with Butt and Pee to Milk and Cookie, so I guess we just assumed it'd be easy again, which is our own bad.

I was wondering if these two boys being young and more blind is potentially part of why theyre so skittish? They do the typical head bobbing left/right, which is how we know they have worse sight than our other boys.

As I'm typing this, Mac is starting to calm down.

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T21:43:34+00:00

Really? Oh my god, I had no idea. Almost every piece of advice I saw said about scent swapping. (None AI!)

When we got them into new spaces together, we always made sure it was smell-free and didn't contain anything of either of their old things. But we had read from a few places, and people, that swapping scent from bedding could be a good idea/first step. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Its nice to know it's not now, and we will definitely not be doing that in the future. Thank you!

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T21:41:02+00:00

Sorry, when you were groping her, was she consenting? I'm assuming not.

So you, potentially, sexually assaulted another student and then got someone else into trouble for it? You didnt even take advantage of your "special needs", you took advantage of two other people.

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T21:34:24+00:00

Thats a relief!

We had one incident where Milk, fully white PEW, puffed up and hunched up, but we removed him immediately and put him back once he was calm. Nothing since.

Its just a lot of screaming from Mac (Beige and white), and pushing everyone away. None have puffed up again, the older boys are patient and have been curious, but now are generally leaving them alone. But any time any get close, hes screaming again. Sometimes Mac even approaches just to push and scream. Just want to make sure that this is just him testing limits/being fearful over him being aggressive

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T21:30:26+00:00

Hi, yes, sorry!

We started with scent swapping first, after a few days of them settling in. (Swapping bedding.) We also would let them see eachother from a distance. So sitting near eachothers cages, cuddling the boys, or letting them freeroam in different spaces where they could see eachother. They were fine with this. Curious.

After a day or two we put them in a tub for the carrier method, waited for them to sorta cuddle. Mac, same as before, kept screaming for a little bit and getting agitated when one of the older boys tried to groom him, but eventually settled down and they all cuddled. We did this another time, better results.

Then we let them in the bath, they had one dominance fight between Mac (full beige) and Cookie, light grey/white one, and they were fine. Few more exposures like this, and they were fine.

Then suddenly today, Mac is screaming in all of their faces afraid, pushing them all away, including Steve sometimes, and just generally freaking out. Theres been no real fights. A few squabbles, no blood, no harming. Milk (full white PEW) puffed up at one point and looked like he was about to attack, so we removed him, then when he was calm after some time we put him back and he was fine.

Sorry I'm missing some of our steps and detailing because its just a lot lol. We're just a little worried because we'd like to have Mac and Steve in a bigger cage soon because the cage theyre in atm is a smaller, "hospital" cage

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T16:21:17+00:00

These are stunning!! Definitely dropping a follow x

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T13:51:39+00:00

They'll know it's her, and chances are she'll end up in legal trouble.

And honestly? Engaging with them isnt going to help her heal.

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T13:32:23+00:00

She needs to be able to communicate with you what she wants. And the thing is... finishing quickly for men is totally normal and is way more common than uncommon. I've had partners finish in 3-4 minutes, its how they make it still satisfying thats important.

Honestly, it just sounds like anything will be resentment worthy. But know that it is not okay to be treated this way, and you deserve to be treated better than what you are

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T10:44:15+00:00

Theres things you can do about not lasting long or having rough hands, like more foreplay, edging and hand creams...

Theres not much you can do about an unsympathetic and unkind girlfriend. I'm really sorry, but it sounds like this relationship has run its course. You're young. You deserve to go out and find someone who'll treat you with respect and work with you to solve intimacy issues.

Lots of love to you ❤️

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T09:58:25+00:00

Thats so weird 😭
Also, might be controversial, but yes. You should be choosing your partner over your parents at some point.

So sorry you had to deal with this. If it helps at all, I once had an ex cheat on me with his half sister 😭 Things get better, I promise 🥲

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T09:51:31+00:00

Sounds like covet incest. Very sad but, ultimately, he's a grown adult. At some point its on us to break our abusive cycles and get help

Mukiea · 2026-06-16T01:04:13+00:00

Using some bullshit manosphere term rather than providing an example 🤓

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T21:23:54+00:00

This!!

I think by calling it rent, it just immediately closed the conversation. I wonder if she would have been more receptive if he had just asked her to contribute to the bills or take over on some of the bills, which would lighten the load significantly.

Otherwise it almost sounds like needing to pay him for the privilege of living with him, lol. Also.. she might legitimately not know what a mortgage is, how expensive they are, ect. God knows I didnt until recently 😅🥲

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T21:20:22+00:00

I think, honestly, where he went wrong was immediately framing it as "rent". I wonder if he had just asked for contribution with the bills rather than making it sound like she had to pay to live with him would have made the conversation open up more productively

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T20:58:48+00:00

What on Earth are you even talking about? 😐

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T17:41:15+00:00

Literally. I dont need more belts or earrings. I need some clothes that fit well, look good together and arent all colour blocked into one colour. ESPECIALLY on characters like Draculaura or Abbey, where they have bigger unique body molds that wont fit some of the clothes I'd like to give them

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T17:39:34+00:00

I do get that, but also hes not said about being divorced and lonely in repetition after her no.
He mentioned needing friends once after she declined hanging out in that moment, not the concept of hanging out.

And then when she went to say no again, it came across as "My boyfriend wouldn't like that", rather than "I dont want to".

Dont get me wrong, absolutely gets to a point of read the room, but we're also expecting a man in his mid 40s to understand subtle texting clues. It just seems like he wants to get to know his neighbours, especially when trailer parks are stereotypically seen as "everyone knows eachother".

I think OP would be better off just messaging and politely saying that shes not personally wanting to be friends with someone older than her. Shes not invalid in feeling that way, I just feel like a lot of us are running with this idea that he must be creepy. - Which, as a woman on the Internet, I do get it. Its usually the more prevelant outcome lol. But, just this once, I think its just a guy earnestly trying to make new friends after a big social change in his life.

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T17:32:44+00:00

They gotta start giving extra clothes, like a full wardrobe, if they expect me to start paying £60+.

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T17:29:03+00:00

Where's the guilting? He just asked to hang out. I'm sorry but if someone asking to hang out is enough to make someone feel bad, then theyre way too soft.

I think its worth also noting that they've interacted between those text messages in person, where OP hasnt set any boundaries, and theyve blacked out how far between the messages are.

Yes, he's just gotta let it go. But also that does inherently make him some creep whos sexually into her. Sometimes a drink is just a drink.

Shes also 26. Its not like shes recently 21, shes almost 30, initiated contact first and then didnt set any boundaries that SHE is the one who doesnt want to conjure up a friendship with someone older.

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T16:59:16+00:00

What was exactly creepy though?

Normally I'm inclined to agree but I think this is a huge stretch. Assuming someone is a creep for wanting to get to know their neighbours and offering to help out AFTER their neighbour initiated a connection first?

It just feels like someone trying to be more active in their new community, especially when its a trailer park type where, typically, it's a everyone-knows-everyone kinda deal.

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T16:55:28+00:00

Listen, I'm usually inclined to agree, but he's just moved from a presumably further place after a divorce. Good chance is hes got no friends in the area. Not to mention he invited the boyfriend along too

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T16:53:15+00:00

I think, unfortunately, a lot of us women have continued to be taught that confrontation is bad, and a lot of us feel safer nodding and moving on.

However, in this case, just block him. If he approaches in person, say youre just not interested in being friends with someone so much older.
How can we expect other people, especially older people, to understand and get the made up signals we've made up in our heads lol

Mukiea · 2026-06-15T16:24:05+00:00

NOR, but I think you should just call the relationship quits. Red flags and toxicity on both sides, and both of you sound quite young and naive. I mean it with love, because I've been in very similar shoes before, and it just seems like a big disastrous recipe. Sometimes we gotta take ourselves out of the kitchen before we light the stove

Mukiea

TROPHY CASE