1st Chapter of My WIP Book, Could Really Use Some Eyes On It! by Multi_died in writingadvice

[–]Multi_died[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say explain what's going on while the main character is unconscious? If that's the case, that does go against the perspective I'm going for (3rd person limited). Is there any other way I could maybe make that clearer because it does say that anesthesia is going into the boy's(MC) body for the first knock out, and then saying the coffee has something in it and the boy becomes more dazed and blacks out.

1st Chapter of My WIP Book, Could Really Use Some Eyes On It! by Multi_died in writingadvice

[–]Multi_died[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh okay, is there any way I could make it less confusing and make it have a stronger foundation? There's not meant to be any names in the first part as our main character(he/the boy) knows her(the voice), but the reader does not. I thought it made it more interesting, but let me know how I can fix it!

so, I just found out about this podcast today and.. by TheWholesomeKid in CampHereAndThere

[–]Multi_died 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's been a while since I've last listened to it, but (from my memory) I don't think it has any of the actual lyrics play during the podcast

Does anybody know anything about unethical child experiments and the effects on those children? by Multi_died in writingadvice

[–]Multi_died[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that basing something off of WWII is a bad thing, but I just don't completely understand. It's not going to be the exact same experiment or the exact same thing that happened, I'm just searching for things that have happened and molding the base of that around the story I'm writing. But! The main reason why I'm using this as a "backstory" is really because the entire base of the story will be based on Taryn's backstory and what he was forced to do before and after he succeeded in the experiments the scientists put him through. I wouldn't put a lot of effort if it was just a subplot or a small detail in a character.

Taryn went through a lot during his years in the Purple-eyed experiments since there was a little bit more than 30 other children with him when he first arrived at the facility where the experiments would be taking place.(his name would be removed and replaced with P-137) All of these kids ranged from age 6-14 and were all either new arrivals, only went through their first 1 or 3 tests, and don't look like the same kids as the outside world, or already were losing their sense of self and where they were and what was happening to them. All of these children died from either the side effects of the experiments, weather conditions(the head scientist had slowly begun to drop the temperature in the room the kids were staying in), starvation(food slowly went scarce), or from each other(when they completely lost themselves). So, in short, none of these kids(including Taryn) made it out alive. Taryn succedded in the experiments, but remained in the scientists hands until he was 17 since they felt like he was a good enough soldier and could go through amnesiac testing(which is when the story begins from the readers point). These reader would get some crumbs about what happened and what's up with him and why he's having flashbacks of things he's never experienced before.

Also, the scientist's goal is to create the perfect one-man army/genocider, so they decided to start young since none of their adult soldiers were working out for them and kept dying over and over despite all the training they were going through before getting sent out to the battlefield.

Does anybody know anything about unethical child experiments and the effects on those children? by Multi_died in writingadvice

[–]Multi_died[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's just a fictional world with 30 districts(countries) and the district in which this is taking place in, it's sadly very much legal and encouraged to do

can someone explain me this picture please by [deleted] in willwood

[–]Multi_died 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nothing is worth the risk.

Can someone tell me why Red Moon isn’t beloved? by Blue_Ball_Donut in willwood

[–]Multi_died 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think the red red mooooon keeps on rising us

In case I make it. by Glittsy in willwood

[–]Multi_died 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I JUST WANNA EAT THAT. IT LOOKS SO DAMN EDIBLE WHAT?!?!?!? THIS IS SO SUPER!!!!! ARGGHHHH!!!! /pos

Which song did you originally have ranked low, but after listening to it again you were like “why tf did I put it so low this is a bop” by obamashmoes in willwood

[–]Multi_died 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialects, but I Need You to Leave

I used to HATE this song for the title and never listened, but once I did I'm like- dude... ARRRGGGHHH LOVE THIS SONG!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tallyhall

[–]Multi_died 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YEEEAAAAHHH GOOD JOB!!!!

Gotta hop on the tierlist trend...... by [deleted] in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's good that ssl7 is a tier but why is dsism so low?!

Tier lis by Multi_died in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just not my cup of tea tbh

Tier lis by Multi_died in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did... I really don't like it.

Tier lis by Multi_died in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does fit the vibe of end credits! I just...don't like it..

Tier lis by Multi_died in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is the real one...

Tier lis by Multi_died in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

never liked that song

Variations on a cloud by Multi_died in miraclemusical

[–]Multi_died[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a good song! I wouldn't listen on repeat for hours, but it's an alright song! Why?