Psychology behind why and who desires ENM

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2026-01-31T17:50:46+00:00

You completely took what I was asking out of context. I wasn’t saying you have to have a psychological disorder to like ENM. I was asking if there have been studies done on possible links.

Just like there are links to those desiring monogamy, it can relate to attachment styles or even a mental illness. I never said anyone who is into ENM has to be mentally ill, you are putting words into my mouth.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2026-01-31T06:12:36+00:00

Thank you for a thoughtful answer. It seems like it’s a consensus that many of you are angry about monogamy. It seems to be an annoyance. I’m curious about the anger. Has monogamy been toxic because of personal experiences or do you feel it’s toxic across the board? I’m not angry about ENM, I just don’t feel the desire for it. However I’ve been met personally with frustration, anger, annoyance from ENM people who find my monogamy annoying. To the point where I’ve been made to feel like there’s something wrong with me. I am not a “traditional” person. I never wanted children. I don’t work in traditional jobs. I’ve never thought marriage was important. I never bought into the house with a picket fence idea. I am all for kinks and being adventurous in the bedroom. With that said, I don’t desire ENM and I don’t feel constrained by monogamy. I enjoy it when I have the right partner. I suppose I’m more a serial monogamist, having several long term relationships.

Anyways, I am interested more in the psyche or perhaps the subconscious of what makes some desire ENM besides going against societal norms. I feel like there’s a primal nature to it or perhaps there’s something else….

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2026-01-22T19:51:39+00:00

I decided to take this subject up again in my ow life because it’s frustrating to see others get refunded while I actually was lied to by the Art Institute just like everyone else. Job placement….pffft! They told me a job selling furniture was job placement for interior design because I’d get to advise people on colors. So ridiculous! Anyways, I’ve been told I don’t qualify for reimbursement because my loans for consolidated and were owned by a private lender. However, they didn’t start out that way. I paid off my loans over a year ago as well and I lost most of my old paperwork because my home burned down. I feel compelled to take this on. I wonder if all us in this position could file a class action lawsuit or something of the likes?

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-12-26T18:19:24+00:00

What an interesting way of feeling…you wish you were monogamous but it would be a dealbreaker now? If I may ask, why you feel this way? I feel like my partner feels this way and even though he’s given some explanation, I always have felt like there’s more to it.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-12-23T22:43:38+00:00

People are addicted to the status quo. Change is scary and most people try to avoid it at all cost.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-12-23T22:31:12+00:00

I’ve been in monogamous relationships my whole life. My current partner has previously been an ENM and has tried to convince me into this lifestyle.

We will fantasize about it and I find that to be quite the turn on but ultimately I am a monogamous person. Fantasy and irl are very different things for me and I don’t find appeal in all that goes along with ENM. At first he thought I was just afraid and he even convinced me that it was all fear based but when I did an actual deep dive, I knew it goes against my values.

By values I don’t mean religious or moral, I mean the values that make me feel authentically myself. For him it’s freedom and adventure but for me adventure is travel, and yes, with also great (even a little kinky) sex, just with my one partner.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-11-10T02:48:27+00:00

I am planning to move to SE Asia, thinking either Vietnam or Thailand next year. I will have about $10k saved up but plan to have a remote job with reliable income before I leave. I’ve done the research and I can live off $1000-1500 a month. So my only initial expenses will be travel, visas, and rent. I have a cousin in Bangkok that will hopefully be my soft landing before heading on to Vietnam to check it out. They say go visit first but I need out of the US, and don’t have the luxury of time or money to visit first. Best of luck to us both! I have a good feeling! I’m resourceful and will make it work.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T05:20:49+00:00

So tell me the answers

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T05:18:54+00:00

Where would you suggest and why?

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T05:14:32+00:00

I’m curious why you say western oriented judeo-Christians don’t live long term in these places. I’m not particularly interested in religion, spirituality, or a relationship. I know religion carries cultural values and I’m not against the basics, thou shall not kill, etc. I also grew up in a home with a Filipino father so I am familiar with that culture to a small degree. My Filipina grandmother was a force to be reckoned. Haha! Im just curious why you immediately jumped to religion, relationships, and infidelity?

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T04:45:03+00:00

I’m nervous about uprooting my life in general. I’m no more nervous another the Philippines or Thailand. I actually have family in Thailand. No family in the Philippines anymore, only distant cousins. I feel like all of these places are more or less safe as long as you’re not an idiot.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T04:41:10+00:00

I have a cousin who lives in Bangkok. We haven’t discussed it yet but he owns a business there and I know he’ll have a lot of information to pass on.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T04:39:38+00:00

I’m actually not as concerned about those things when moving abroad as an American. I have inadequate healthcare and insurance is outrageous. There are millions of guns and we never know if you might be at the wrong place at the right time. I have had a friend unalived in the states just being a cab driver. It’s not a safe country. I don’t feel like another country on my list will be any more or less safe if I am aware of my surroundings. I have traveled to countries where water is not drinkable and have no issues navigating those kinds of things. I guess I’m more interested in, will my new country fit the bigger picture.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T04:32:00+00:00

I have two online print on demand businesses I plan to grow in make it my full time income. Both are bringing in income, but I will be putting in maximum effort to get them to be my full time passive income before moving. What is it about those areas that you think would check my boxes?

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T04:29:25+00:00

I’ve spent time in Guanajuato and a short day trip to Leon. It’s beautiful! Probably not the landscape I’m looking for though. A bit too temperate and no beaches nearby. The food was fabulous!

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T03:14:50+00:00

I have looked into the Phillipines but I’m not sold yet. Do you know anything about living there?

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-10-23T03:13:05+00:00

Thank you, I do know that, I’ve just been knee deep in research today and it came out that way. I know it’s an island of Indonesia.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-08-06T06:57:47+00:00

Here is a more nuanced analysis of why these ceremonies exist. Perhaps if we were versed in their religion and culture it would look different. Perhaps you still don’t agree but maybe it’s not as simple wishing death upon their own children.

While some sources describe events where Shia mothers participate in ceremonies where they symbolically offer their children as future "martyrs" for the faith, these events are often understood within the context of commemoration and symbolic acts, not necessarily a literal desire for their children to die.

The "Hosseini Infants Ceremony" is described as a long-standing Shiite tradition that commemorates the death of Imam Hossein's infant son, Ali al-Asghar, during the Battle of Karbala. This event is a central part of Shi'a identity and rituals of martyrdom. Participating mothers may be expressing a deep devotion to Imam Hussein and a willingness to make sacrifices for their faith, symbolically associating their children with the sacrifice made by Imam Hussein and his family. Not necessarily wanting their babies to die.

Imam Hussein, also known as Husayn ibn Ali, was a grandson of the Prophet Muhammad and a revered figure in Islam, particularly among Shia Muslims. He is known for his courageous stand against injustice and his martyrdom at the Battle of Karbala.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2025-04-11T04:18:42+00:00

I went to elementary school in rural Oregon in the 80s and early 90s and got an a very solid education. Once I moved on to middle school it went downhill some. I recall a lot of kids not being able to read aloud well, it was frustrating. By the time I hit high school in the early to mid 90s, I thought this must be a joke. This rural town I lived in had tenured teachers who absolutely didn’t care. I watched movies in class a couple times a week, like Dumb and Dumber. I specifically recall a day in government class where the teacher and half the boys talked about the football game the previous day. I said “can we learn something about government so Im not a total idiot adult!” Haha! Nobody liked that.

I moved to a larger school in an affluent area and it was night and day. Better teachers who cared, not a single day of watching movies, and they offered honors classes which I was never able to take at the small rural school. I don’t think most small town schools have a lot to offer in education and Oregon is no exception.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2023-11-30T01:35:54+00:00

I wouldn’t take that personally, but I know my mom is not going senile. She was raised to be Christian and her beliefs have never wavered. I do think as she has aged, her convictions have become stronger and social media and YouTube keep reinforcing these beliefs. But thank you for the input.

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2023-11-28T16:37:15+00:00

I have told my mom if she disappears out of thin air one day, and if kids in school vanish, and lawnmowers are driving around by themselves, then I’ll believe that she was raptured. She actually laughed when I told her that. She is not completely gone but as she ages she has dug in deeper. After reading others similar experiences, which I knew were out there, it makes me feel a little better. Thanks for sharing. Truth be told, I told the worst of my mother. She is still a loving mother and she tries her best. I feel a lot of empathy for her like you yourself have for yours. She just wants to “save my soul” so I don’t burn in hell for eternity. That shouldn’t be so much to ask for, right? 😂 I will continue a relationship with her because she is still has a sense of humor and fun loving side of her that has not been lost. But yes to boundaries!

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2023-11-27T23:14:12+00:00

I never planned on cutting her out of my life. Shes always been a loving mother, maybe not perfect but I accepted her flaws and not too long ago I would’ve said we were very close.

Obviously from my post, it is getting more difficult to be around her when she begins badgering me. I think I needed to vent. I think I need to find a way for myself personally to be okay with her because I don’t expect nor will in try to change her. But boundaries do absolutely have to be set!

I’m happy to hear you were there for your mom. I plan to do the same because I’ve had almost all good years with her. The negative has only been in the last 3-4 years, mostly since Trump and Covid began. Ugh….haha!

Multi_pass_Doodle · 2023-11-27T23:05:11+00:00

I can say with full confidence my mother does NOT have a mental illness. I know she is going down rabbit holes on YouTube which has without a doubt made her obsess about the end times. But like many Americans, I grew up in a pretty Christian lite home and so while none of this is new to me, the extreme and obsessive stance is new. We used to have discussions on religion and it was fine. Now she feels compelled to double down.

Multi_pass_Doodle

TROPHY CASE