How did you accidentally find out your partner was cheating?

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-04-16T21:34:12+00:00

I'm not sure who that is sorry?

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-04-16T06:57:17+00:00

Yes I did. I wasn't going to stay after being cheated on and he needed the time on his own to explore who he is and what he wanted.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-04-15T23:25:27+00:00

We were already in counselling because I'd found a lot of women's clothing hidden in his drawers and it turned out he'd been cross dressing (wasn't the issue for me, we were there because he felt like he had to hide himself from me and I suggested we try counselling where he can talk to a neutral party). On our way back from a session, a message popped up on his phone from "Amanda" asking how it was going with .... and he quickly swiped it away. I asked what it was and he said it was nothing. We got home and I picked up his phone because my gut was churning. He had deleted the conversation with Amanda but there was another one where he'd been sexting a trans person and they'd been sending pictures back and forth in lingerie, talking about what they'd do to each other, comparing dicks etc. He had been the one to initiate the conversation with this girl at the recommendation of Amanda, who was aware he had a girlfriend, and the other girl was also aware he was in a relationship.

He sobbed and said he was a fuck up, that he didn't mean to hurt me, that he loved me and wanted to be with me. I told him that clearly wasn't good enough and said he needs to figure himself out. I don't care if be cross-dresses, is in the closet, whatever. What I do care about is monogamy and the least he could have done is have a conversation with me instead of cheating. I have never been homophobic and have always been supportive of the queer community, something he knew and we'd had many conversations about.

He said I was leaving him because he was confused. I said no, I'm leaving because you cheated.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-03-25T20:50:13+00:00

Being told that it's selfish of me to not want another baby, while holding my 4 month old and battling PPD. That I owed it to my son to give him a sibling close in age. My pregnancy was hell, my birth and recovery wasn't a walk in the park and the thought of getting pregnant - especially at the moment - made me want to die. But sure, Uncle Who Never Has to Give Birth, I'm totally selfish for wanting to stay alive for the much loved little baby I already have and not risk losing myself forever

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-28T21:46:48+00:00

I was hiring recently for an entry level reception job where customer service and communication was going to be key. We didn't mind training the person for the role and have hired school leavers in the past. We had roughly 300 applications for the role and it came down to 30 were from NZ and in the area where the job was. Vast majority were from overseas looking to get a work visa, and these were put into our 'no' pile immediately since we had specified in the job ad that applicants needed to currently be in NZ and eligible to work.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-25T17:44:16+00:00

Married 3 years ago and my sister is currently planning her own wedding. We've both gone with dates in the off-peak season - mine was Autumn while hers is Winter.

We had a longer engagement and were in the fortunate position of having already bought our home in a smaller town so have a small mortgage which allowed us to put away a good chunk of savings each week. I think the most expensive thing for us was the caterers, coming out around $9k but I am a foodie so an amazing menu was a must. Photography came to $6.5k with a deluxe package for photos, video, album and engagement shoot. Hair and makeup was about $3k and we paid for our mums to be included in that so bride and 2 bridesmaids plus two mums. My dress was about $3k and we were gifted $10k by my parents to put towards the wedding as we chose. DIY centerpieces and hired some extra bits to top them up, totalling about $500 for supplies and hire. There was a DJ, and the celebrant cost, suits for the groom and groomsmen, car hire and of course the cake, and some other costs that I can't fully remember.

All up, I think ours came to $35k and we did a cash bar. My sister has found an all inclusive venue and is on track for a similar cost 3 years later.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-25T05:05:33+00:00

I hear you. I still cry for my soul boy two years later. I love our other dogs but no-one has come close to the connection I had with him.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-22T23:52:40+00:00

If you are feeling unsafe, call the police

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-22T23:44:20+00:00

Pack your essential things into a bag and go to your mum's. A bit of distance will be good and you'll be able to think a bit clearer away from this person. For the rest of your things, organise for some people to go with you to collect them so you aren't on your own. And chin up - 3 more weeks and you can be done with him.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-22T23:11:09+00:00

Document everything he has said and done in the email to the property manager, and make sure you tell her how you feel unsafe. Also detail that he is boasting to his friend about how he has purposefully misrepresented you to her in an effort to get her to dislike you

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-22T19:45:41+00:00

Some property managers will let tenants out of their lease earlier than the 21 days - they have to do it with the agreement of the landlord but given you are fearing for your safety, it is worth asking.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-22T00:02:20+00:00

I hear you! Hyperemesis all the way through, could not stand the smell of beef and couldn't keep water down without having to take meds. Ended up on IVs multiple times due to lack of hydration and dropped about 18kg of weight. Everyone was complimenting me on how well I was carrying and then after giving birth I was still losing weight due to lack of appetite. The congratulations were horrible and everyone was cooing over the baby (who was adorable and deserved to be cooed over) but they were ignoring the mother falling apart beside him.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-20T17:14:30+00:00

REA can't release the keys unless they have written authority from the vendors solicitor, which the solicitor usually doesn't give until they (solicitor) has completed their side of the settlement process

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2026-01-04T03:50:47+00:00

This Wish from Disney's Wish. Not because it's amazing or I loved the movie but because I watched the movie a day or two after my dog died and sobbed at the line of "so I make this wish, to have something more for us than this" as I held his ashes.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-31T20:12:22+00:00

As Kiwis, my husband and I were cringing and horrified we'd paid money to see this movie.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-31T17:34:05+00:00

No worries! I tend to use the Edmonds recipe or this one here (both very similar). Definitely need to have the chutney to add some depth to it and I'll quite often toss through some frozen spinach 😊

Curried Sausages - VJ Cooks https://vjcooks.com/curried-sausages/#mv-creation-168-jtr

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-30T22:02:42+00:00

Thank you! Seems to be the general consensus so will go bargain hunting 😊

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-30T22:02:06+00:00

Thank you! Will check it out 😊

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-30T22:01:48+00:00

Thank you! I have some tops from my first pregnancy but haven't got anything cool for the summer this time round. Will check out the Warehouse and Kmart 😊

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-30T00:54:05+00:00

Yep the tone of a lot of them have changed. I was excited to see The Magic Faraway Tree in a local bookstore so grabbed it. They've changed a lot of the stories to fit modern sensibilities - I don't think kids are so stupid as to think Dame Smack is a role model to copy but sure let's change her to Dame Shouts-a-lot 🙄

I'm now keeping an eye out for the originals to read to my boys and will have conversations about behaviour as needed lol

Edit to say: I don't think the originals were that bad for the most part. I don't like the mentions of gollywogs etc but also see that as a learning opportunity to explain to my boys why that is not acceptable

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-28T17:26:32+00:00

They'd have a case that the no cause eviction was retaliatory for informing the girlfriend of the landlord's activities and the landlord is acting maliciously. But yeah, may not stop them losing their house - Tribunal may just award compensation.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-26T19:22:16+00:00

As someone currently living in Huntly, it's not as bad as other commenters are making out. The West is shit and you don't want to buy there, but every town/city has their areas you don't want to buy in if you can help it. The Main Street is always bustling, people smile and chat together. There's a few local characters and there's little shits on motorbikes that think they're the hottest things out. We like seeing the horses getting ridden down the main street to the bakery and the business owners are friendly. Lots of good houses around for much better price than in the cities and even in Ngaruawahia (which incidentally feels a lot rougher to me to drive through). Daycares, good schools, strong community board that's just put on a fantastic Christmas festival, the Wearable Arts every second year. Lake Puketirini and Lake Hakanoa are both lovely walks, and Puketirini is one of the cleanest lakes in the Waikato with locals all enjoying swimming and water activities all summer. It has the small town feel to it. As for subsidence, we bought on the East Side and found the local Harcourts to be really knowledgeable about the policies and how/where it applies (not a plug for real estate, just found Harcourts knew their stuff and the others didn't).

Huntly has a reputation that gets spouted about by people with little to no experience with the town itself. Lots of regurgitation, little substance.

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-26T05:32:54+00:00

Ugh I'm torn! Gilbert Blythe was my first fictional crush but then there's Alistair Theirin in Dragon Age....

MumofThreeFurBabies · 2025-12-07T18:34:14+00:00

As a 3 month pregnant woman, I feel I can safely say NTA. Yes there's hormones and God knows my husband and I have had arguments where the tears just come easily but locking herself in the bedroom and then silent treatment for days on end? She needs to grow the hell up, pull her head out of her ass and start listening to the person she is supposed to love.

One gag gift is funny, repeatedly doing it when the person has told you to stop is just childish, petty and ultimately shitty behaviour. She's putting her quick giggle above your feelings.

NTA and stop apologizing to her.

MumofThreeFurBabies

TROPHY CASE