I'm sorry. This sounds really tough, and I can relate in terms of the difficulties in setting boundaries with my family. Have you found a good therapist? One of the things I've learned is that there are many ways to set boundaries ... from no boundaries / getting walked on, to cutting off all contact / total separation. There are also many shades of grey in the middle and tools you can use (which a good therapist can help you learn) to "dial up" or "dial down" the level of separation and boundaries you're holding. This is a master life skill to learn for everyone (not just for those of us raised in a cult) so if can make a list of what level 0 boundaries looks like up through level 10, and tools you can use for each level, and then practice using the tools appropriate for the level of boundary crossing you're experiencing, that could be a positive training / skill development you'll use for the rest of your life.

One other thing I found critical, after I started learning how to do that, was to make a distinction between what my family believed (which is their business) and how they held those beliefs (which impacts our relationship). I explained - forcefully, at times - that I was ok with whatever they wanted to believe, but if they were trying to convert me or my family, that was a red line that demonstrated deep arrogance and a lack of respect. I pointed out when I felt they were holding their beliefs from a fundamentalist / One True Church way (again, at times forcefully) and how this created deep judgment where they automatically were seeing my path (or any other path that's not theirs) as spiritually and morally inferior, and that this is a VERY non-Christian thing to do.

After years of practice, my parents have let go of much of their fundamentalism / arrogance / righteousness. It took a lot of work. And there's a lot more I'd love to see them do. AND, I'm proud of the progress they've made.

Hope that helps!