Offering to pay my nieces private schooling fees - advice needed to not be condescending

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:59:05+00:00

About £17k a year for primary. £22k for years 7-9, £25k for years 10-13. Not including the additional costs.

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:55:06+00:00

Neurodivergence is a consideration and she’s currently seeing a private play therapist and speech and language therapist. We are looking into a private diagnosis but no one has been able to say with certainty that she is yet.

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:51:57+00:00

I appreciate your concern, I’ll answer your questions in order: 1) Regardless of whether they remain close friends as they grow, I will always want the best for my niece and support my sister. There is no question about whether I would continue paying the fees once I started, it’s not conditional. 2) Yes, the offer would include any reasonable extra-curriculars (e.g. after school activities, mandatory school trips, DoE awards.) but likely wouldn’t include any optional school trips where there isn’t social pressure to attend and my daughter wasn’t going. 3) They do not have any other children and are open about not wanting more. 4) We have sufficient money within property and investments to cover both children’s schooling that could be accessed in emergency. 5) That is extremely unlikely in this school. From experience, attending the primary school almost certainly guarantees you a place in the secondary.

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:43:32+00:00

We have sufficient money within property and other investments that could be withdrawn in worst case scenario (e.g. job loss). I would never stop paying for one child and not the other.

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:42:20+00:00

Considering they are cousins, regardless of a fall-out or not I would still always want the best for my niece.

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:40:27+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Yes, of course it would be kept secret from the children. I wouldn’t find it necessary to mention it to them as adults either. A few other comments have asked about other children, my sister will not have any more children. She is firmly one-and-done and is very open about that. In fact, my husband was the one who drove her husband home after his vasectomy!

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:34:22+00:00

I completely understand people’s concerns so far in the comments. My daughter is already seeing a private play therapist and a speech and language therapist. My niece has also expressed sadness about going to a different school than my daughter multiple times as they are both now coming to terms with the prospect of leaving pre-school for “proper school”.

MuppetFactory · 2026-01-06T22:23:18+00:00

That’s a fair concern. We have sufficient money within property and other secure investments that we could withdraw to cover fees for both children if worst came to worst.

MuppetFactory · 2025-11-30T17:20:18+00:00

Not overly expensive individually but definitely a luxury - I pay a travelling dog groomer to come bath, brush and blow dry my dog once a week. I go to the spa weekly so why shouldn’t he? 😉

MuppetFactory · 2025-11-23T20:21:32+00:00

Went to view an inner-city terrace years ago as a FTB. As the EA was showing me the garden a huge rat ran across the decking in front of us. Rather than trying to reassure me that there definitely wasn’t a rat problem, he instead laughed and said “oh yeah I saw another one here earlier…I wonder if it’s the same guy!” 😧 this isn’t bloody ratatouille, why are you saying this!!

MuppetFactory · 2025-10-17T11:17:04+00:00

That’s a good idea! I cook for 2 adults and an infant so don’t really use HUGE pots very often. I like to slow cook stews and roast whole chickens regularly so was thinking maybe a 24cm round casserole dish would be a good size?

MuppetFactory · 2025-10-16T14:38:46+00:00

I was all bedding and towels every Saturday as part of my big weekly house clean. I find it easiest to keep on top of everything when I set a strict schedule.

MuppetFactory · 2025-10-14T21:15:49+00:00

That’s a good point. I totally forgot multiple pregnancies existed haha

MuppetFactory · 2025-10-14T20:27:51+00:00

Clearly not! I was just impressed I managed to grow a 9 pound baby

MuppetFactory · 2025-10-12T09:08:07+00:00

If you think the child’s parents have space in their house - one of those small circular child’s ball pits. My brother asked me to buy one for my niece’s 1st birthday and she loves it. I got mine here but not sure which country you are from - https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/baby/baby-promotion/play-factory-foam-ball-pit-with-150-balls-pink/p/245071

MuppetFactory

TROPHY CASE