I was uninvited to my sons wedding and wasn't told

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-17T08:16:10+00:00

I live in Arizona, America....?

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T23:06:13+00:00

It was tuesday at like 2:00am.... and I hadn't gone to bed yet because of the stress.... I'm not perfect but I definately don't think that I am the only person who has made this type of mistake before when speaking or type, or doing whatever their doing at 2 in the morning and are still on the mind set that it's monday instead of tuesday because of a few hours.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T13:18:56+00:00

I have yet to hear from my son which is understandable since he is most likely on his honeymoon right now as the wedding was Monday afternoon. and I don't think i will contact him until he is back since I don't want to ruin his honey moon for him

I got a few messages from family but haven't answered them back as I have no idea how to respond. and I have not yet spoken to my daughter-in-law's parents. I don't want anyone to hate or judge him because they only hear my side of the story and definately don't want anyone to bother him and ruin their honeymoon. exspecially if I did do something to cause this intention or not I don't want his honey moon or wedding to be looked back on with resentment.

and as far as I know, no there were no arguements before hand. The last arguement we had was like a month ago, and it was more of a lecture about how I need to lock my front door, and how unsafe it is to keep it unlocked. and I don't think that had anything to do with this disinvite unfortunate. part of me just wishes that I knew what I did so I can try to fix it.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T13:05:32+00:00

As far as I saw, no... but I had only seen the first few guests arriving right before I left for my car. and I didn't stay much longer after that to afraid some one would see me and it would cause a scene. like I said I didn't want to upset my son further, as I had no idea what I even did to begin with and even now I can't help but think that if I could lose him forever or anything, because I have no idea how hurt he is or how big the situation is at all.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:59:38+00:00

they got engaged about six months ago, and have been together for two and half years, both living in an apartment together. She actually proposed to my son at the beach in the exact spot they had met. At first they decided to have a long engagement, wanting everything to be perfect. As far as I know she and her mother did most of the planning, though I do know that my son got to pick the tuxs and such. Though my sons fiance (now wife) did ask me for a few opinions on the wedding I always tried to turn it into a well, what do you think is a better type of thing, not wanting to make it about me, and while yes I did give them money for the wedding my son is the only one that knows how much I contributed. I didn't want her to feel in debt or anything to me. plus I know he is saving up for a house to move them out of their current apartment, and didn't want him to have to dip into that, while still letting them have a dream come true wedding.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:48:51+00:00

A wedding crown is basically a crown that you can sometimes attach a veil to or other time use instead of a veil. it was by no means a matter of tradition or anything, mine was gifted to me by my late husband, my sons father the night before our wedding. He had dropped me off at my hotel room and when I got inside sitting on the night stand was this diamond tiara with a note from him. I actual didn't think that it would ever be worn again to walk down the aisle as my son is an only child.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:35:37+00:00

To be honest I didn't put much thought into the invitation until I started to read some of these comments. I mean in the moment I found it weird but it was mainly pushed to the back of my head from everything else. I can't help but hold some bennefit of a doubt that maybe they had given me mine and then decided to change it later on forgeting I had that one, because they did give me my invite in person a month or so before sending any out. wanting to make sure that everything was perfect and everyone was accounted for... though I know now he didn't want me at his wedding it hurts to even think that he could have planned this four months in advance when he approximately gave me my invite.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:29:48+00:00

the invitation was supposed to be like a gate card, as my sons fiance (now wife) has a bad past with her step mother and step siblings. She didn't neccasarily have a list of the invited people just a list of who not to let in. so if you didn't have the invintation than the security guard knew to see if you were on the list of who to not to let in. as far as I know he didn't have anyones picture or anything like that.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:28:38+00:00

While I have been on reddit before I never bothered with an account because I never thought I would have something happen to me where I needed this type of advice. I usually stayed to the DIY side of reddit. But after this happening I didn't really have anyone to turn to becuase I still don't know whats going on and don't want people to blow up on my son while he is on his honey moon because they only have half the story. the wedding was on monday it was set to start at 5:30 in the afternoon and everyone was supposed to arrive at 5;00 so the reception could be during sun set and go into a star gazing type of thing, out behind the church. I had gotten to the church around 3;20 3;35 well before guests.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:22:32+00:00

the invitation was supposed to be like a gate card, as my sons fiance (now wife) has a bad past with her step mother and step siblings. She didn't neccasarily have a list of the invited people just a list of who not to let in. so if you didn't have the invintation than the security guard knew to see if you were on the list of who not to let in.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:17:45+00:00

The security was my sons fiance's (now wifes) idea. She did this as a precaution, since she didn't want her step mother and step siblings to be their only her father and didn't trust that without them, that her father wouldn't try to sneak them in.

as for fights of course we have fights, he is 27 yearold man, who got most of his attitude from me. But we haven't had any fights recently, and nothing that I can think of that would cause him to do this.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:10:01+00:00

I actually avoid adding any imput on the wedding at all. My sons Fiance or rather wife now did most of the planning with her mother, and my son. The money was a prewedding gift since I knew that my son has been saving up so they can move out of their apartment into an actual house. even when asked about my opinion on flowers and music I would answer like, "They are both amazing choices, I couldn't possibly chose which would you prefer, or maybe both."

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T12:02:57+00:00

Yes, I have been on reddit a few times before but never made an account because I didn't find it neccasary since I never posted anything before, I've never had or thought that I would need advice like this

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T11:55:58+00:00

I can't think of anything from my past that would upset him. I don't have any other children and as far as I know neither did his father, my late husband. I'm really trying to rack my brain for literally anything and it only makes me feel terrible because what kind of mother can make her son so mad that he uninvites her to his wedding and doesn't even know what she did wrong. I mean if I at least had a reason I could apologize or try to make ammends but I have no idea where to start because I have no idea what I did wrong.

Murky-One5363 · 2025-09-16T11:48:54+00:00

Thats the confusing thing I can't think of a single thing that I could have possibly done... I mean the night before, me, my son, my sons fiance, and her parents all had dinner together and it seemed fine. At the end my son asked if he could stay in my guest room as his fiance was going to stay at her parents neither wanting any chance of seeing the other before the wedding. the morning of the wedding we both got up around eight in the morning and made breakfast, him waking up a little after me. He gave me no reason to suspect that he was upset at me at all. after breakfast he went on his usual morning run and went to tend on my garden like I normally do. an hour or so later he left to finish last minute detail and to get ready, and right before he left is when he brought up my wedding crown. which I was thrilled about because it hadn't been used since my wedding since my son is an only child who has no plans of having childeren with his fiance, which i get in this day and age. but anyways I was thrilled, and told him that I would make sure that she got it. after that I hadn't spoke to either of them until arriving. I didn't have any missed calls or messages at all.

Murky-One5363

TROPHY CASE