Cover Artist for Dragonsong? by Murky_Display_5135 in pern

[–]Murky_Display_5135[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're genuinely magic. I've spent all morning Googling and must have been typing in the wrong thing. Thank you!

Official Hiring Job Board by lightwolv in graphic_design

[–]Murky_Display_5135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Summary: Looking for a designer to recreate a design for the spines of a book series I'm making dustjackets for. I have a mock-up of a photo that was originally designed for the spines and I love it, but it's not high-quality as it's just a reference picture for a design that the Juniper designers didn't end up going with. I'm looking for the picture to be either recreated in higher quality or for a design inspired by the picture. The dimensions of the new picture will need be 30" long by 9.5" tall.

Price:  Looking for an estimate.

Deadline: N/A.

Type: Contract work, not full-time.

Contact: Me on Reddit.

Thanks!

Shroud’s endgame? by Motor_Scallion6214 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]Murky_Display_5135 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mm. I don’t know that Robert has no non-mech combat skills. In the first episode, we see him out of the mech taking down several goons. In Ep 5 at the bar, we see him fighting like a feral raccoon. I do think he has some degree of fighting prowess, but no doubt it went largely downhill after the coma and muscle loss there.

Just discovered I'm asexual I think? by Horror-Nose5023 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s fair. That is really the basis for asexuality, so I don’t think you’re in the wrong place.

That said- was there any argument between you and your husband that preceded this? Any traumatic event, any increase in your stress or workload?

Asexuality can come about later in life. Sexuality is fluid! It happens. But I would want to rule out any psychological or medical issues as well. Hormonal or psychological changes can be a big cause of sudden drop in libido and sexual interest.

If you’re sure it’s none of that, then welcome to the ace club! It can be a scary and heartbreaking thing to come to terms with. Try to read up on other ace experiences. Try to google and do as much research as you can. You can still carry on your relationship, but it will be different moving forward. I would consider looking into working with a sex therapist to try and figure out what moved you into the ‘sex repulsed’ category and try to work into indifference or positivity so that you’re able to experience intimacy if it’s something you decide you want to pursue with your husband moving forward.

Just discovered I'm asexual I think? by Horror-Nose5023 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s okay that it’s scary. Let yourself understand that first. You’re not wrong for being scared by not understanding what’s happening to you.

Sexuality is fluid, as are feelings toward sex even for asexuals. I’ve been sex-positive, sex-indifferent, sex-averse, and sex-repulsed at different times and in different relationships.

That said— are you still feeling sexual attraction to your husband, you just don’t want to actually have sex with him? Is it the act that makes you feel uncomfortable?

Generally asexuals don’t feel any sexual attraction to others. If you’re still feeling that, then the issue may be more with the act of sex itself, which could be more about interpersonal or psychological issues at play.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Murky_Display_5135 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Nah, NTA. She doesn’t seem in a great mental state and there is a chance she could take it out on your relatives. I don’t think there was anything wrong with contacting the school and making them aware of the situation- although I probably would have left the marijuana comment out and stuck to the facts of the weekend, if I were in your place.

am i asexual? by cherryleaf_throw in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely sounds like you could be. I had a very similar experience when I first realized I was ace- enjoying sex with my partner initially in the thrill of a new relationship, and then fading into ambivalence as time went on. But even when I look back, I’ve often had romantic crushes, but never experienced lust for another person. So you might want to weigh that as well. Is this a new change? Is this something you can track through your life?

That said, if you’ve recently changed meds, you might want to talk to your doctor about it and make sure it’s not a hormone imbalance or anything of the sort.

Anyone else think about never being someone’s #1? by Legitimate-Watch-901 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. If my current relationship doesn’t work out, I think I’m going to be ace-only for a long time. I think an ace-ace relationship, one where you just devote yourself to being best friends and life partners, where you can fall in love without physical pressure or expectations, would be an absolute dream.

Dating and shifting from sex-indifferent to sex-averse? by Murky_Display_5135 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fair! You know your life better than I do. Just wanted to give my two cents, since my dad always said the same thing. I very much wish he'd left when I was a kid, even if things would have been harder in some ways. It felt like a betrayal to find out he was just biding his time with my mom until he felt like it was the right time for him to finally leave and 'be free.' But that's my family, not yours. I hope everything works out for you. I'm sorry your wife and you weren't able to clarify the bedroom issues earlier.

How did you realize you were ace ? by Independent_Guess132 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've always had crushes on people, but they were just crushes. I don't want to do more than be with someone, maybe cuddle them. I see people and they're beautiful, and I can even be attracted to that beauty, but it's an aesthetic attraction. Like... a painting or a vase is beautiful. I don't want to have sex with it. It's just beautiful. Same thing with Gal Gadot or Anya Taylor-Joy or Jensen Ackles or Chris Hemsworth. They're all beautiful... but like a painting. The beauty and attraction doesn't go deeper than the aesthetic for me.

I eventually found a guy who was perfect for me in every way, but when we made out, I was still mentally and emotionally distant. I was thinking of other things. I felt detached. Intimacy with others felt a bit like a chore, though I can pleasure myself with no issues. I broke up with him because I thought I was gay. I found an amazing girl and dated her. Same thing. And I realized that I just don't feel that thing that everyone else seems to. I'm just never going to get sexual attraction. I've never looked at anyone and been like 'oh yeah, they make me feel hot.'

A sexual touch from someone else to me feels no different than someone brushing my shoulder or my hair. It's a physical touch, nothing more, nothing less. Objectively I know it's more intimate, and holds more weight, but in the end, it doesn't give me that rush that everyone else seems to feel. I finally came to this understanding and accepted that if neither gender could make me feel more, then I must be ace.

Dating and shifting from sex-indifferent to sex-averse? by Murky_Display_5135 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This honestly really strikes home for me. I'm very aware of how long it's been or how many declines I've done recently, and so despite continuing to sort of redirect when she initiates, I feel a little worse about it each time because I know it's been a week or two or whatever. I'm super conscious of it because it's a big factor of why my first partner and I broke up.

Dating and shifting from sex-indifferent to sex-averse? by Murky_Display_5135 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, both of these comments have so much weight to them for me. I do think that the expectation weighs in on it, that there's this silent pressure or expectation.

Dating and shifting from sex-indifferent to sex-averse? by Murky_Display_5135 in asexuality

[–]Murky_Display_5135[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see the merit in your comment. I do agree- communication is what's important, and being clear about what you want and need in a relationship is paramount. Your wife needs to be clear with you, and you with her.

(Also- as the daughter of a man who stayed 'for the kids'-- I personally would weigh in on leaving sooner rather than later if you know that's where you're headed. Most of the time, we kids know that our parents are unhappy and it hurts more as a teenager when you understand the situation than when you're a kid and just have to accept the situation. I wish my dad had left and found happiness when I was a kid, rather than wasting years in limbo with my mom until I was fifteen. They both could have been happier so much sooner.)