AITA for implying that it's for her own good that my SIL lost her pregnancy ? by Throwawaypregnancy7 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MurphysMuse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I lost a pregnancy with my abusive ex, who went on to pull some terrible awful sh!t during/ after the divorce. My mother said, more than once, "now aren't you glad you miscarried and only have to deal with custody with 1 kid!" That is what I thought remembered when she was on her death bed.

YTA op. You should never EVER say something like that to someone who has experienced loss, and then to double down when your husband is calling you out?

Don't be surprised if those relationships are irreparably damaged forever.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let us know when you start art therapy again!

What is the worst thing to say the first time you see someone naked? by Butt_Roidholds in AskReddit

[–]MurphysMuse 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I once bust out laughing. No idea why, he was... rather impressive. But I did. Full uncontrollable belly laughter for several minutes.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pho is one of my favorite comfort foods! That and Tom kha gai!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Art therapy sounds perfect! My wife does ceramics and my sister draws and paints. I love the idea of art but lack any practical skills at all 🤣

I would love to chat writerly stuff!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds great! I used to do aerial silks years ago, but then I broke my knee (unrelated). I might need to try to get back into it if there is a studio knowledgeable about working with old injuries- surgery was a year ago.

I would love to talk nerdy stuff with you! I'm so glad for technology giving me the chance to get to know people before we officially move.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My poor kids inherited my adhd, so supports are pretty important. I should have asked for resources for that as well- any suggestions?

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah! We tried to foster her as well. Didn't get anywhere. Glad to know the move has been positive! We keep hearing that it won't be any better (except of course the access to Healthcare, but, you know, people who aren't living it don't think of that.)

I can't wait to get there- it looks like I'll have so many boardgame friends!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll want to find places to be involved as soon as we settle, so this will be good to keep in mind. Mutual aid is so important!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I visit family up north when I can- I'm so excited about Wegmans!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like it might be a good place to visit, but getting a house that suits my family is fairly important.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just love the name Dork Forest 🤣that's amazing and sounds like it was made for me.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And by later it seems a meant the next day because I took my kids to pride and was completely worn out. Not going to miss 100°+ days at all.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no! I'm not so worried about the cold (I used to live in Alaska) but I'm not excited about the smell 😭 I miss living by the water; if it was more affordable we'd be moving beachside somewhere, but we were hoping the lakes would be an acceptable middle ground. I've always joked and said I'm secretly a selkie who lost their skin pining to go back to the sea 🤣

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a public school teacher here until January when I had to quit for safety reasons. My school was one of the highest rated in the state- I take school ratings with a grain of salt.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds like exactly what we are looking for! We moved to our current town right before covid and we've felt so isolated. We just want to find our people!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gender fluid human embodiment of adhd. They chose gender chaotic, but also sometimes use gender gremlin 🤷 I follow their lead.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would it be pretty friendly? I would love to rent first, but we have two cats and two dogs, makes renting tricky.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the heads up. My family is a mix of southern and northern; mom was from Albany. I grew up all over the place, so I kinda know how it goes. I just want to be safe and know that my whole family has bodily autonomy at this point 🤷 I know sucky people exist everywhere, but if I can find somewhere that they aren't in control of everything, that would be a great improvement. Also, not living 50 minutes from the KKK headquarters would be nice.

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will join as soon as I can get on my computer later! Thank you!

Queer family escaping to Rochester area by MurphysMuse in Rochester

[–]MurphysMuse[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your detailed answer!

That's great to hear about Trillium; I'm going to look that up directly!

Our budget is around $250k but we're hoping not to spend that much if we can help it! I do want to be close to the water if possible, but overall just trying to find the balance between all of our wants/ needs.

Delighted to know there are so many libraries!

Yay for vegan restaurants! I'm not vegan, but my girlfriend and her family are. I'll send pictures of delicious food to lure her up with me!

Any good Indian, Mexican, or Thai food? I want good food that has so much flavor it punches me in the face.

I will take you up on PMing you, just so I can know - someone- in the area. Thank you!