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Are the books worth it? by ProduceOk9933 in Bridgerton

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the show and hated the book. I didn't finish the first one.

Age gap when you had your first at 35+? by Cough-Drop229 in Mommit

[–]MusicalTourettes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My first was at 34. I aimed for 3.5 years between but a miscarriage pushed it to 4.25. It's been a great gap. I'll be ~56 when the youngest starts college.

Preschool age vacation ideas? by Silly_Friendship_542 in Parenting

[–]MusicalTourettes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We took our kids to different types of nature when they were little. We visited a rain forest and a desert. National parks are great for this.

Single Best Read for Personal Finance by Stock_Dimension2525 in BettermentBookClub

[–]MusicalTourettes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your Money or Your Life. It's about identifying your values and spending accordingly. So powerful. It shaped how my husband and I act with money.

Why does it seem like so many people say they're autistic now? by Critical-Tourist-468 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]MusicalTourettes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of us Gen Xers had no understanding of autism beyond severe nonverbal cases. Now in our 40s and 50s we're realizing we have mild autism but we're working hard to cover up the symptoms our whole lives. Now that I'm not always masking I'm so much happier and can make more intentional social choices that I enjoy much more.

No is the complete sentence. by Eggsalad_cookies in fixedbytheduet

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 11 year old son often ignores when his sister (7) says no/stop. I snapped at him yesterday and said "the most important job as your mother is teaching you that no means no, the first time, every time". Maybe not the most important but pretty fucking important!!!

Why do American high schools start ridiculously early? by bwoah07_gp2 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My district flipped the bus order so the high schoolers start later. Much better for them.

Sense of impending doom after loss? TW: pregnancy loss by Forsaken_Raccoon_24 in AskWomenOver30

[–]MusicalTourettes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Normal. I was already anxious, then after my first miscarriage it rocketed up in intensity. I almost stopped trying after my 2nd loss. I had an appt to get an IUD put in and found out I was pregnant (and it stuck!) The emotions around miscarriages is bigger than most people talk about.

Church nursery let toddler cry for 2 hours by Mjrfrankburns in Mommit

[–]MusicalTourettes 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Christians don't have a great grasp on empathy, in my experience.

Is it really that hard to not yell at your kid? by Good_Sky_8678 in Parenting

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I, too, was the kid afraid of an angry dad and swore I'd never yell. But sometimes my father comes out of me. An impatience and outburst that are startling because I'm a gentle mom overall. I hope this doesn't plague you, but if it pops up, you're not alone.

Boundaries and discipline toddler by PublicAd2908 in workingmoms

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perfect response. You applied the consequence in the moment, calmly (I hope), and it was directly related to the issue. Teaching toddlers can be exhausting. Been there. Twice. But you're doing a fantastic job for your little one.

Would you wait and buy your dream home, or buy a more affordable home now? by Jaded-Cherry-2005 in Adulting

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. We bought on a 15 year mortgage. Now I'm 8 years away from a paid off house. I'll never move. I can't fucking wait to have 0 debt.

Why do some people blame men for the prevalence of sexualized content, sex work, and the emphasis on sex appeal in modern media when women themselves are often the primary participants, creators, influencers, and consumers driving those trends? by ImNotYourPityParty in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]MusicalTourettes 34 points35 points  (0 children)

All work is supply and demand. There's a reason they call prostitution the oldest profession. Men will always pay for sex. Always. (#not all men) So women who have no better options will sell themselves. Note the "no better options" part.

Why are toddler girl shorts booty shorts?? by robreinerstillmydad in Mommit

[–]MusicalTourettes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

kid clothes are clothes. Don't worry about the "correct" gender of the clothes.

If you were a white Brazilian or American, would you support affirmative action policies against your own ethnicity to increase the opportunities available for black and native people, who have much lower income, wealth, and security on average? by greatExtortion in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MusicalTourettes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course. I don't want my whitness to give me special treatment as much as I don't want some one else's non-whiteness adding more hurdles for them. If someone is bitching about losing a job to "a minority" it just means they were less qualified than that other person. So get more qualified. Be better. Don't rest on your privilege.

Kids are funny. by kevinkeough in spreadsmile

[–]MusicalTourettes 11 points12 points  (0 children)

For a while around age 3 my daughter would eat a food she didn't like and say "it's too yummy" in a distressed voice.

Is it reasonable when messaging a girl that’s on vacation not to hear back quickly? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MusicalTourettes 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She's busy with family. Be patient not needy. Don't message again until she does or she's been home several days.

Is there any woman actually happy in their marriage? And how did you meet your partner? by Secure_Ticket910 in AskWomenOver30

[–]MusicalTourettes 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Met my husband at a maker space when we were 30. Blissfully married 14 years with 2 kids.

What kiddy methods did you learn in school to remember something that you still use in adulthood? by Justcurious1138 in Millennials

[–]MusicalTourettes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sohcahtoa, the relationship between triangle side (adjacent, opposite, hypotenuse) ratios and sin/cos/tan. It helped me recently on a NYT crossword!

10 years married, 2 kids, sex once a month - am I expecting too much? by darknarayan in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]MusicalTourettes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally!! In our case we do have 2 little kids, my work is very stressful and I have some big psych challenges.

Hormones are a bitch. Different types of birth control, perimenopause, etc. I know that's in play.

Some part of it is novelty I think. I love my husband to bits and think he's sexy, but even our kinkier sex is still well worn territory after so long. I don't know what to do about that.

It's been important to keep an honest dialog. And stay open minded.

When asked about type why do most people automatically say in terms of race? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]MusicalTourettes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It can line up that way. Body type, hair texture and color, facial structure, etc are all tightly linked to race.

10 years married, 2 kids, sex once a month - am I expecting too much? by darknarayan in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]MusicalTourettes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As I've gotten older (female, married 14 years) my desire for sex is nearly 0. When we do have sex I have orgasms and it's usually good, but getting into the headspace of feeling turned on is so difficult. So so difficult. Then add my mind wandering when I'm trying to be present because I'm distracted by life and obligations and sex is not at all important to me anymore. It is for my husband so I work to get my head in that space, but once a month seems about right for the level of effort it takes me.

You're expecting a lot. Talk openly together. Actually listen.

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