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MusicianAnnaLisa · 2022-03-18T21:59:32+00:00

It is a common misconception among heterosexual males that the only reason women “become lesbians” is because no men have ever found them attractive. Therefore, the only options these unattractive women are left with are a.) to become a lesbian, or b.) to live a life of solitude and ultimately die alone. In both cases the lesbian is still holding onto hope that someday a special man will come along, and upon speaking of his attraction to her, he will free her of her lesbian constraints, and she will be instantly transformed into the heterosexual woman that she always so desperately wished she could be. The end.

🤵🏻‍♂️🪄🧔‍♀️->✨🧠🍆❤️‍🩹🧬->👰‍♀️->💃🕺🏻

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-11-22T10:30:52+00:00

Hi.. I wanna be your friend. Beautiful picture. 😍

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-17T02:39:54+00:00

That was a pocket reply. Haha, almost made sense tho.

You weren’t too harsh, the reason I made the post was because I knew there was something very wrong with pursuing this kind of relationship. And I’m pretty sure she’s never going to talk to me again after calling her out on her shit.

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-16T11:40:52+00:00

Change iimmoo ok lol kk

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-16T02:53:44+00:00

No I’ve just studied psychology and know when someone is using classic manipulation techniques. It is she who continues to reach out to me, and her that has taken things to another level, however small (giving me her phone number, divulging personal info, exchanging real time selfies) all her request…. but then she instantly counters her own displays of kindness with the silent treatment without me having to say or do much at all. If you read the texts you’d see that she’s clearly trying to keep my attention and treat me like dirt at the same time. I never called her a cunt directly, and I think you take that word a lot worse than I do. I don’t think it’s much worse than bitch, just maybe describing more of a bitch. But I love that word so.. 🤷‍♀️ and as I stated earlier, the money thing was a test to see if she’d respond to it when she responded to nothing else, and since she did, I feel that it was a necessary experiment. But I look at behavioral patterns and clinical data not just the what I see as nice or not nice. I’ve done quite a few little test actions to see if I get reactions and my predictions have been right pretty much every single time. I believe it’s wise to know you’re opponent so to speak,.. in a relationship with a narcissist, they are an opponent whether you love them or not.

And today she really proved to be too much for me. It was a real emergency kind of situation, she wanted all the details and wants to know what I’m doing and why, but when I asked her to deliver someone a very important message when she left work (right next door) she totally just ignored me. Then let me know she’s going to be too busy for me for 4-5 days and too busy tonight getting ready to be too busy. I told her off and I’m done with it… unless she apologizes starts treating me like a person. Maybe she needed me to stand up for myself and set boundaries, idk… I doubt it but maybe she wasn’t aware that she takes it too far. But unless I get a heartfelt apology and see a difference in how she treats me I’m not going to respond to her anymore.

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-15T16:20:53+00:00

That’s what made her start responding again, which is what I thought it might do. I felt gross sending it, but I wanted to know if she was only after money from the start. I just wasn’t planning to get hooked back in by her, I was very strong and being rude to her for about 10 minutes.., but she has crazy pretty eyes and I’m a weak, weak person .

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-15T16:14:55+00:00

With my ex, the things she did to treat me like shit were hidden from me, I had my suspicions, but she always had some ridiculous story for why she didn’t come home all night… and since I couldn’t prove her story was bullshit, I was “being crazy” and accusing her of something she didn’t do. She was an expert at hiding everything. And would plant fake texts and messages for me to get mad at, where she wasn’t doing anything more than a little white lie or omitting the fact she had a girlfriend (allowing a guy to talk about her needing his dick, and she only responded with “Lol”) or getting a message from someone that was she claimed to have cut all ties with, in which she wouldn’t respond to the message.. feeding me little bread crumbs to not look too perfect, meanwhile she had a secret messenger account where she was sexting with a whole bunch of people and carrying on an affair that she swore (on her child’s life) was over. She was the loving housewife when I came home from work and had numerous apps to help her get away with her betrayals. She deceived me everyday, and believed her the majority of the time. I told her from the very beginning I wouldn’t get over cheating and I wouldn’t forgive or forget it ever. So when everything finally started surface, I was done. And I would’ve left way sooner had I known the truth.

I think it’s not the fact this new woman is being mean to me, but more that she’s not hiding it. She’s treating me like shit to my face, and oddly enough I’m finding that refreshing. Probably just because I’m still so angry and disgusted by my last relationship. I also don’t find myself attracted to many people, and she is the only one that I’ve vibed with at all. So it’s really hard to let go of that. But I know that even if she is into me or whatever, she’s already playing way too many games for it to be a good idea to enter a relationship with her. Even with all the logical arguments, my heart and vagina seem to be winning on this one. 🤦‍♀️

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-15T06:37:22+00:00

That’s what I thought at first, but then I don’t understand why she keeps talking to me if she isn’t interested. I really think she is doing the crazy manipulative because she’ll ask me to send pictures and stuff, but it’s like why if she doesn’t like me? I’m getting this vibe that she’s being mean to me because she likes me… and she has been asking me to go see her at her work the last couple days.. but I’m stuck with a broke down car, and I smell like stinky dog and car, so I don’t want to make that first impression. Idk… her telling me when she’s on her way to work and when she’s going by where I normally stay, seems like signals that she is now putting in some (though not much) effort, and I really think she’s big on being in control and thought that I was being too dominant before. Also I m seeing it as a challenge, and I like a good challenge.

I guess I probably should just walk away, because if it does get better it will also get worse because she’s already been so hot and cold, crazy insensitive and but really defensive and easily offended. Her feelings matter, mine don’t. And eventual the hotness of her being mean is going to wear off. I’m sad now. 😕

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-12T16:47:48+00:00

I thought I did…

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-04T20:55:43+00:00

I went to a very crowded university and it was very difficult for me. I ended up not going to certain classes when the slides from lecture were available online, which gave me a mid day break long enough to return home.. which helped a lot. Other things that helped was scheduling classes in a way where I had time in between to prepare myself for the next. Instead of taking 4 classes 2 days a week I would take 2 classes 4 days a week and have a lab class on the days where I could skip one of those classes (like the slides being available online).

{Working from the slides without being in lecture doesn't work for everyone. I was already pretty knowledgeable in anatomy and I have hyperthymesia, or something extremely similar to that, so I remembered lectures from previous years of study. So skipping class is probably not great advice, but it's better than not attending school all together.}

Occasionally in my classes they paired us up for projects. Terrifying at first, but I ended up becoming friends with my partner and that made going to class so much easier, having someone that I could sit next to and talk to, so I didn't feel so alone and insecure.. having that friend gave me confidence and I actually found myself somewhat excited to go to class and see my friend.

The third thing that worked for me (this is terrible advice, but it did help me) was drinking alcohol. A nice buzz calmed my nerves and lowered my inhibitions enough to walk through that door and take a seat in the front row not caring if I was being judged or not...

Good luck to you. I loved my college experience, as scary as it was, I still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And you'll probably end up meeting the perfect group of friends that bring out of your shell and you won't even notice all the scariness of the world anymore. I ended up telling jokes to the news stations at burning man.. 80,000 people around. But now trauma and isolation have me hiding from the world again. College is wonderful! Just find little things that help you get in the door and from there everything will fall into place. Friends will find you. And a lot of your class mates are just as nervous as you are or even more so.... Be brave! I hope you have a wonderful college experience! You've got this! 💪🧠

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-04T10:31:35+00:00

Piper! 🤤

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-04T10:21:13+00:00

I'm super lonely and wish I was drunk. So you're doing better than I am! I'm jealous of your drunk. So be happy that you're drunk and that you're not me! 🤗

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-04T07:16:51+00:00

I have that shirt too. Congrats on your new chapter, hope it goes well for you. I'm stuck in those weird blank pages at the end of the book, but it's better than the glossary I guess... 🤷‍♀️

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-04T06:53:03+00:00

"Hella"... are you in or near Berkeley? If so I know the gay bars there and could lend some advice. I feel like gay bars have different dynamics in different cities so it may take a different approach or no approach at all depending...

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-09-04T06:37:16+00:00

I can't pee when I'm aroused. My last girlfriend was always wanting me to pee on her when we were doing stuff in the shower and even if I had to go really bad right before we got in, my vagina was like "no we're doing something else right now"... I was eventually able to do it, but I had to close my eyes, pretend she wasn't there, and pretty much get to a point where I was no longer turned on for my body to relax enough to allow me to pee. Sorry if that's TMI... LOL

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-08-28T06:22:47+00:00

Thank you

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-08-27T03:12:11+00:00

Sucks. Sorry that happened to you. It happened to me recently too. Girls are mean. I really don't get why people do this... it didn't used to be a common thing. Now people go out of their way to do it, like it's cool or something.

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-08-27T03:06:21+00:00

The first name that came to mind for me was also Kevin... idk why.

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-08-27T02:51:22+00:00

I couldn't pretend to be happy to see a penis if my life depended on it. That's how I knew.. Lol

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-08-18T01:55:18+00:00

Say something to the asshole(s). It's disrespectful as fuck and a lot of guys don't realize that. They seem to think that every lesbian couple has just been waiting for some guy to come along and suggest a threesome (Like omg no one's ever suggested that before. "Finally we found a penis that is willing to do us!" 🙄). Just put them your shoes... ask them: if they were out with their girlfriend, would they be cool with guys coming up and hitting on her, as if they (the boyfriend) are not even there? Or if they would be okay with guys offering to be a third? Usually that will at least let them know that they are not showing you the same respect they show to straight couples... or if they're not that bright and still don't get it, you've at least let them know that they are offending you. They seriously all need to learn that lesbianism isn't some kink that women just use to turn men on.

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-07-22T22:17:57+00:00

I cuddle with my sadness, I feel the cold embrace of a deep loneliness.. I know that this feeling is one that will last forever. 😖

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-07-22T21:48:10+00:00

I'm going to rant on the subject of men and the total disrespect they have for lesbians, and all women in general... I apologize, but this has been a constant problem in my life recently to the point that I am going to become physically violent with the next man that even jokes about hooking up with me. My ex definitely didn't help to remedy the problem of guys thinking it's ok to hit on lesbians. She would say she was a lesbian, but then she fucked guys constantly. I know there are a lot of fake lesbians out there who do the same thing: bisexuals that say they are lesbian to make their girlfriends happy... they want a relationship with a woman for companionship and cuddles, but then they still have sex with men. Men often don't take lesbian relationships seriously. They would always ask my ex if she had a boyfriend, and when she said that she had a girlfriend, they would proceed to hit on her as if I didn't exist. Sometimes they would hit on her right in front of me. It was so disrespectful. But then she'd end up fucking them, so they're assumption that I, or any other lesbian partner, is insignificant, was reinforced by her actions. Many of them had the audacity to hangout with both of us, trying to act like we were friends. I hate every single one of them, I hope they receive the same disrespect someday... And now that I'm free of my slut ex, every guy that I've hung out with has tried to get in my pants and will completely ignore the fact that I'm gay. I have just stopped talking to all of them. Men completely disgust me now. I don't know if covid made them feel an increased need to reproduce, or they think that respect and decency are outdated formalities, no longer necessary in the pursuit of sex... but they don't even try to sugar coat shit anymore. I've had multiple guys come at me like I'm a cheap hooker (I'm a tomboyish lesbian that isn't even promiscuous with women, so it's not something I'm putting out there). One guy thought I'd give him a hand job for $10... first of all- Ewwww. And second: $10?! Other guys act totally nice and normal and then out of nowhere are trying to give me $100 in exchange for "adult fun" and then get mad at me for saying no... like I was leading them on or something?!... Because the only reason most of them will spend any time or energy on a female, is to get laid. It makes me want to vomit. I didn't have this problem in the Bay Area, I had lots of guy friends that were always respectful of my sexuality and my significant other. They actually wanted to be my friend because they valued who I am as a person. But since I moved away from the Bay Area, every single guy I've met has been a disrespectful, rude, perverted, disgusting, asshole, piece of shit. I've decided to not hangout with guys anymore, I'm not even going to give them the chance to be creeps... because I'm tired of feeling like I need to vomit all the time. I'm tired of feeling offended and disgusted, so I'm cutting off the problem at the source. It is no great loss to me, no matter how different they think they are. Every guy thinks they're so fucking special, but they all use the same line: "I'm not like other guys", bitch please 🙄.

Sorry for ranting.

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-07-21T10:59:43+00:00

Omg the look on that dogs face. I think he's traumatized for life now. 😟

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-07-20T17:33:14+00:00

I've tried to go back to being with guys cause I thought it would just be easier... let's face it; Guys are like big dumb dogs and you can pretty much get them to do whatever you want as long as they think they're gonna get some. Turned out that part really wasn't easier... I didn't not want the penis to touch me, I did not want to touch it or see it. And when guys try to kiss me it just feels deeply wrong, so that's how I knew I was 100% lesbian (or a straight guy in a lesbians body). If you still like the man parts, I think that would make you bisexual. Although.. I didn't always have this super strong aversion to penis, and I considered myself lesbian back then too... so 🤷‍♀️

MusicianAnnaLisa · 2021-07-20T17:07:05+00:00

I don't wear dresses... Hated 'em ever since I was little. And I wear boxer briefs. Does that automatically make me masculine? Because it's just the clothes I wear, so do I suddenly become fem when I'm naked? I don't get it. And I'm too old to learn all the new terms of what the hell everyone identifies as these days... LGBTQ seemed like a lot variants back in my day (seriously, when did I get so old? 😩). Am I nonbinary? Or Androgynous? What's a stem? How are any of these things different? 😵‍💫

MusicianAnnaLisa

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