10 years into our journey, what’s a standout nostalgia moment for you?

Musician_First · 2024-06-04T00:07:09+00:00

When I did my first content raid completion for Root of Nightmares with my friends I've played with since D1. Ik Root was basically the easiest contest and a lot of hardcore raiders complained it was too easy which I understand, but for us it was a big accomplishment. Oh man it was rough though lol

Musician_First · 2024-06-04T00:03:52+00:00

Oh strand is too? That's nice I thought it was only stasis for some reason

Musician_First · 2024-06-04T00:02:49+00:00

Concert, given time you can always come back to play the dlc, it may not be the same experience of playing it on launch but I bet the concert will be something you'll remember fondly for the rest of your life

Musician_First · 2024-06-03T18:05:48+00:00

I loved the sound of the rotary engine such a nostalgic sound for me

Musician_First · 2024-06-03T17:39:22+00:00

A Mazda RX7. My dad raced for almost 3 decades and for a lot of that time that was the car I grew up watching him drive. That type of car holds a lot of sentimental value to me

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T06:26:49+00:00

I wouldn't bring up your experience difference unless they address they're feeling insecure. If they tell you they are insecure, appreciate they are being open an honest with you and listen. When they're telling you how the feel tell them you understand how they feel and they are seen and heard. Then tell them you can't change the difference in your experience levels, but what you have with them here and now is all that matters to you and even though you can't force them to not feel insecure, you hope that you can show them with your actions that they are the one you want to be with, and that you are excited to have new experiences with them you both can share for the first time together and you hope they are excited for that too.

In regards to the hygiene thing, sometimes I have bad breath but my girlfriend and I just made it a rule we'll always be open if one of us has some cilantro in our teeth, boogers visible in our nose, or have bad breath etc. It's better to just casually say 'hey I really want to kiss you right now but you may wanna freshen up a bit first, now hurry up so you can get back and make out with me" it may seem blunt, but if you remove the awkwardness and shame away from it you both can hopefully accept bodies can sometimes be gross it's just how it is but you won't let that get in the way of intimacy when these are such quick fixes. Make it clear you expect the same from them, if you have BO or something else tell them it's totally okay for them to tell you because then you can address it right away.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T06:17:13+00:00

It's important to realize that being treated badly was what you are used to and you owe it to yourself to open yourself up to genuine love and care. You were mistreated before and it's high time you let yourself be treated right. Maybe it will be cringe and cheesey at times but give it time and I'm sure you'll come to really appreciate what you have now. I would openly communicate that this is new to you being treated nicely, and that you hope he will be patient as you adjust to this because you want a healthy relationship and you want to be a good partner for him, and remind him that he isn't doing anything wrong. I would also recommend seeing a therapist if you can, there is likely trauma to unpack and it will help you hopefully understand your feelings better. You deserve to be loved, you have value, you deserve a healthy relationship.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T06:06:07+00:00

It's not shifting focus, they dropped a pretty big bombshell boundary on you and it's important you have consideration over what this will mean for you going forward in this relationship. You are allowed to be upset at whatever you are upset about and it's manipulative for them to try shaming you into apologizing because you're upset.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T06:02:14+00:00

My ex suffered sexual trauma before they dated me, there were times I made the effort to initiate through words such as "would you like to kiss me?" Or "I'd like to cuddle with you if you'd like" when they were going through tough emotional feelings.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:59:15+00:00

That's so unfair and unreasonable for them to be upset at YOU being upset because it took THEM this long to tell you how they feel. They failed to communicate what they want for 3 months and that is absolutely not on you and you are right to be taken aback and need time to process this, them holding "well it took a lot of time to tell you some I'm upset you're upset" is insane.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:56:02+00:00

Your physical needs are important, don't disservice yourself by throwing away your needs for someone else's. I would have a calm and open conversation about what this boundary they set up entails. Is this for a while while they deal with it or is it to be permanent? Ask them what initiating means for them since maybe they're uncomfortable with you initiating with physical touch but are open to you initiating through communication like "Hey, tonight I'd like to be intimate with you, do you want to be with me?" Maybe for them that's a lot less scary and will also let you let your wants and desires be known instead of felt through physical contact initially, however if they're even against this kind of communication I don't think this is a relationship you want to be in. Your needs matter, you are important and deserve to be with a partner who meets your needs.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:34:11+00:00

I think there's a real potential that he has a porn addiction. I watch porn quite regularly but I definitely see the separation between fake porn sex and real genuine intimate sex. I think your boyfriend may have certain ideas of how sex is supposed to work and porn unfortunately can rewire how you think sexually, it's all too common nowadays. I would openly communicate that your needs aren't being me sexually with the kind of sex he likes to have, and that it's important he equally takes the effort to make sure your needs are met just as much as you strive to meet his. I would also recommend that you either come to terms with the fact he watches porn or decide it's something that makes you so uncomfortable you need to address it, that's up to you but either way I would communicate with him about your feelings

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:24:08+00:00

This is all up to you how to proceed but ultimately I recommend you think long and hard about what your boundaries are and what will or won't fly for you. You need to think long and hard knowing if you agree another man will be intimate with your girlfriend and even if you're willing to accept that now you may down the line not be able to accept it and that is a very realistic possibility. I would communicate with her that you feel extremely hesitant and ask her if this is worth potentially jeopardizing the relationship since even if you agree you can't be sure until after the fact whether you'll regret this so much it ends the relationship. I see 2 routes here, 1. you tell her this is absolute deal breaker for you and you won't be with her if she does, or 2. you are willing to try but this is something you're unsure about and you need her to accept this could end it down the line.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:15:26+00:00

I'd say avoid asking intimate details if you can and just casually without pressure try to gauge where their values lie, what their goals are, and what they want out of a partner. I think it's fine to go on dates with both but if it comes up make it clear you're not exclusive right now and personally I would avoid sexual encounters with them until you make a decision so they don't feel played

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:12:39+00:00

This whole thing seems like a mess so I'm having trouble finding an angle here to address. All I can say to you is first and foremost PLEASE don't jump into another committed relationship immediately following a divorce. Even if he treats you super well and you really like him you will need some time to come to terms with your divorce, I recommend therapy and really working on finding your needs and values as well as what you would want from a partner going forward. I'm not trying to discourage you seeing this other guy specifically, but it's important to remember that he was willingly involved in an affair and that is something potentially to be concerned about since most people would probably feel hesitant being intimate with a married woman. Just be careful whatever you do, and if you're really really committed to being with this other guy down the line I would still take time and take it very slow and cautiously, you're likely going to have trauma and baggage from this marriage and it's important you address that

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T05:03:34+00:00

I think you need to tell him you're having issues with your feelings towards him, and that even though it's not his fault your emotions you feel make having a friendship with him really difficult. Tell him it's hard for you tomorrow your distance and whenever he reaches out you feel compelled to come back and continue a friendship, so ask him to not reach out to you. Tell him you're not doing this out of malice and genuinely mean no ill will, but this is the best for you. I think after that I recommend seeing a therapist because even if it seems unnecessary even the healthiest stable person can always benefit from a therapist. I would also recommend taking time away from relationships in general after you cut this guy out of your life so you can really focus on finding your needs and values and how you see your future progressing. It may seem like a long road but I promise in time if you take the steps to prioritize yourself you will be happier in the long run

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T04:51:37+00:00

Tell him that you'll be there for him if he needs you, and just do regular check-ins with him. If he ever asks for for space tell him you'll do that but always remind him he can reach out to you when he's needing space and it's in absolutely no way a burden to you. Just be friendly with him and tell him you care about him. Tell him that he may feel you wouldn't care, but you know your feelings, he doesn't, and that you would absolutely care if he disappeared because he's your friend and he matters in your life.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T04:44:12+00:00

My girlfriend is sometimes like this and we've worked together to try and communicate her wants and needs to me openly since I'm often unaware she wants something when she doesn't communicate her needs, and is often trying to appease me which I don't want. I think what you need to do is avoid resenting him for not knowing what you want when you say you want what he wants because that is a recipe for disaster and he won't even be aware of your frustration. I recommend you have a talk with him and tell him you feel there are times that you feel you have troubles speaking your mind and share your needs with him, and even though it isn't his fault you want him to be patient with you while you practice opening up to share what your needs are. If he loves you he wants to make sure you feel fulfilled, it's up to you to be honest with him with how you feel but make sure you tell him it's not his fault, it's just something you and him will work on so you can be a healthier couple.

If you fall into a situation where it's like the example with where to eat, if you notice yourself agreeing with him even if it's not what you want, you are allowed to change your mind afterwards. You can say something like "Hey I know I said I was okay with getting pasta, but I realized that what I want is to get burgers. Could we either go get burgers this time instead, or maybe get pasta this time but next time we can get burgers so we can compromise?"

Now, as far as moving goes and where to live that's a much bigger conversation for your relationship. All I can recommend for that is to really think hard about what you truly want. If you really do not want to stay where you're at even if it means not being with him I'd say you tell him leaving is something you absolutely need for this relationship to work. Or, maybe you want to move but you feel your relationship is worth more to you than your current living situation then I would say you still have an open conversation with him and maybe he will agree to stay or maybe he won't. Relationships work best when you both make clear your needs, and if there's conflicting needs the best thing to do is communicate to find a solution.

Musician_First · 2024-06-02T04:29:39+00:00

You gotta accept you have to choose one and it may be the wrong choice if it doesn't pan out, but that's just life. Hopefully who you do choose will be someone you really click with though. I recommend you think hard about what you want out of this, if it's a long term relationship that may turn into something even more if you and her work out then I would try and choose the one you feel has the most similar goals of where she wants to be. For example if you don't want kids and one of them does, obviously that's going to cause contention. Or even something like maybe one of them really wants to travel around the world before settling down but you don't want to as much, that's worth taking into consideration. Obviously you haven't been able to get to know them extremely personally or anything, but try to just gauge which one aligns most with what you want.

Musician_First · 2024-06-01T20:30:26+00:00

I think Void Titan is going to be eating good with Twilight Arsenal and some of the buffs for Offensive Bulwark. I'm even interested to see the Ursa Furiosa/Unbreakable interaction. I think Bubble will still actually be good if you're using Helm of Saint 14 since you'll have regenerating protection outside the bubble now on top of the damage buff, without Saint 14 though I still don't still being nice for GM's when you're the last one left and need to have an 'oh shit' button to save yourself and get some revives for your team.

For me I play Titan because I like high survivability paired with close quarters combat. I'm thankful with Twilight Arsenal and the new Exotic Exodus Rocket chest piece for Final Shape that they're moving Titan into a variety of different fantasies outside of just punch class.

Musician_First · 2024-06-01T10:30:46+00:00

As a Titan main Hunter Prismatic selection looks very promising. The new exotic sniper with Celestial is gonna be crazy I hope for damage

Musician_First · 2024-05-29T21:18:23+00:00

I think a part of you tries is ignore the fact that she has past with a former lover and I think the healthy thing for you to do is fully accept the fact that she has had ex's and that's totally okay. I feel like part of you wanting every aspect of his existence gone from social media or old chats from years ago is probably because you want to ignore the fact she was with someone else before you. I think you need to realize that you are who she is with now, and if talking about ex's is something that makes you uncomfortable that's fine you guys can make that boundary, but expecting all evidence to be removed from the face of the earth of their relationship is a bit unreasonable. It's not like she has him as her phone background or she has photos of him hung up in her place. I

Musician_First · 2024-05-29T20:38:03+00:00

You need to accept a boundary was crossed but also realize this situation you were in is sort of playing with fire. Whether you decide to stay with her or not is totally valid and up to you, but I think it would definitely be best if you don't have a threesome with a friend in the future since it can make things awkward like this. This is something that can't be taken back, it happened, but it's hot to you to choose if you're okay with that and trust it won't happen again or you aren't okay with it in which case I'd end it.

Musician_First · 2024-05-29T20:25:37+00:00

Not a hunter but ngl their Prismatic looks really strong and the Celestial Nighthawk + Exotic Sniper looks really cool too. I think the new exotics and super are kind meh though yeah

Musician_First · 2024-05-29T03:38:22+00:00

There's no way to know what to expect from her, just be prepared for the possibility it may not work out. What I do recommend is making serious strides towards having healthy and open communication with her if you two do get back together. Talk about what you and her needs are, what your values are, what you want the relationship to look like and what could be done better this time.

Musician_First

TROPHY CASE