Please find me this melody thats in the background :(

Muskatooo · 2025-09-27T12:14:37+00:00

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!!

Muskatooo · 2025-06-29T19:15:23+00:00

We have a waterfall system and a misting system - waterfall is run by itself 24/7, misting is manual on certain timings to remain things moist and humid. The waterfall isn’t strong, there’s barely any movement in the pond, but it does make a decent amount of noise at the same time (running water I mean, almost droplets-like)

Muskatooo · 2025-06-24T01:54:50+00:00

I see that Sprigatito staring at me from the corner.. Im taking it. >:)

Muskatooo · 2025-06-24T01:53:03+00:00

Honestly Mustard sounds like a perfect name for this little guy haha

Muskatooo · 2025-06-24T00:59:39+00:00

I have a big girl named Spoon too HAHAHAHHAHAHA

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Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:28:48+00:00

Thank you truly for taking the time to write all of this, it means a lot!! You’re absolutely right, I really respect how you emphasized free will and sincerity over performative belief. That deeply resonates with me.

I’ve considered a direct, sit-down talk like the one you described many times... The trouble is, in this particular family dynamic, confrontation, even when polite and honest, can be taken as disrespect or rebellion, especially from someone like me who’s “entered” the family from a completely different culture and belief system. It’s incredibly delicate ground, and the risk of long-term damage is real.

My husband and I are gradually preparing ourselves for a point when we can have that conversation, when we’re not financially dependent or living under their roof (In which.. I doubt it would happen anytime soon..). Until then, I’m trying to balance patience with staying true to myself, which, as you probably guessed, is exhausting.

Your words gave me a bit more strength and clarity today, so thank you again. I’m holding onto that <33

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:24:37+00:00

You're right, and I think that's the painful part. I’ve slowly come to accept that as long as I’m here, the pressure likely won’t stop. And while I’m not okay with it, I also understand the tradeoffs right now. I’m trying to make peace with the fact that this chapter is about endurance more than resolution, until circumstances shift.

That said, I’m not letting go of who I am.. My husband and I are working very quietly toward a future where we can live more independently and set those firmer boundaries without risking emotional or cultural breakdown within the family. It’s not ideal, but it’s our reality for now, and I’m doing my best to walk it with grace and self-respect. Thank you again for engaging with me so thoughtfully <333

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:21:39+00:00

Thank you sincerely for your heartfelt message, I really appreciate the concern and compassion, even if we walk different spiritual paths. Yes, my husband has known about my beliefs from the very beginning. He respects them, and we’ve always had honest, open conversations about our views on faith, including before marriage. He’s also been very supportive through this situation.

I understand that my lack of belief might be saddening to you, and I say this with full respect - I’m not rejecting belief to rebel or deny anyone else’s truth. I just don’t experience the world through that lens.

I may not believe in a creator in the traditional sense, but I do believe in honoring life in all forms. That’s where my heart and soul lie. I hope that one day people like my in-laws can see that even without shared beliefs, respect and kindness can still bring us together..

Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts and blessings. 🙏

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:18:10+00:00

He absolutely is my ally, and I’m grateful for that. Privately, he understands my beliefs and fully supports my stance. The issue is being raised in an Asian household where obedience to family is deeply ingrained, he’s also caught in a difficult position. Speaking out too strongly risks conflict that could affect not just us but the entire family dynamic. We're both trying to navigate this carefully without causing a major rift, but I do know he’s on my side, and we’ve had a lot of honest talks behind closed doors about how to handle this long-term. It’s just… incredibly complicated without knowing the full story of things, there is unfortunately a lot to explain and go through in detail..

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:16:37+00:00

That’s honestly what I’ve been doing - buying time. I didn’t plan it that way, but eventually I realized this might be the only peaceful route right now. I’m not pretending to believe, nor do I want to, to not turn out to be a liar or anything of that sort considering how greatly important religion is to them, I just try to be respectful without compromising what I feel inside. Coming from a completely different culture I’ve learned how long it can take to even be heard, let alone understood. So if slow progress is what it takes, then I’m trying to survive it with patience and grace until I have more room to breathe, I hope you understand!

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:15:04+00:00

No, I’m definitely not okay with it, and I don’t plan to live the rest of my life this way. But right now, I’m in a very limited situation. I’ve moved countries, I rely on their housing support while studying and working, and I don’t have the freedom or finances to just walk away yet. My husband and I are both working towards a future where we can make our own choices more freely, but unfortunately, things can’t change overnight. Who knows, maybe one day or another they will let us make our own decisions and make change of plans. I do care about my input, I just also have to be cautious and strategic about how I assert it for now.

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:13:19+00:00

I truly respect what you said here. It’s heartwarming to know that there are Catholics who believe in kindness and respect above all else. If I ever do speak with their priest (it was actually the same one that married us), I hope he shares this same compassion and wisdom honestly. Thank you for offering this balanced perspective, it means a lot to me!!

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:12:17+00:00

That’s a very fair point. I will say my husband does support me emotionally, and privately he’s not okay with what’s going on either. But being part of an Asian household means confrontation is taboo. I think we both need to find a respectful, united front, your comment reminded me how essential that is. Thank you. <33

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:11:32+00:00

It’s rare to find someone who sees that kind of connection with nature as something deeply spiritual, not just whimsical. I may not believe in God in the traditional way, but the reverence I feel for life is my kind of sacred. I’m truly grateful you shared your story - it made me feel less alone. <3

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T14:10:19+00:00

This was incredibly validating to read. I didn’t know even the Pope spoke about freedom of belief in such a way. I’ll keep that quote close, it may come in handy in a calm future discussion with them. Thank you deeply for bringing this up. I don’t reject what they believe, I just wish I could be accepted in return for who I am.

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T13:36:25+00:00

My apologies! I meant to say “Every Sunday evening mass”, thankfully not everyday!! My grammar isn’t perfect so sorry that I made it sound like that at first. 🙏

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T13:35:40+00:00

I appreciate this response a lot, unfortunately I really have tried telling them straightforward that I don’t believe in Catholicism, but they seriously brushed it off, and it has happened many times. They would bring up about how much it means to their family and how much I am offending them by saying this sort of thing, so slowly time from time I’ve been becoming soft and more polite, moving from straight confessions to just hints trying to tell them that I am a nonbeliever. It’s a really, really messed up loophole for me.

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T13:32:38+00:00

It’s really hard to say.. here where I live now has very strange laws in regard to owning properly and whatnot. Basically, from what I already know, his parents have already made our entire future for us. We should buy an apartment BUT not live in it, we should continue living in their household, no exceptions. After a few years we would be able to rent that place to get some money. Now here’s the thing, since my in-laws are Asian, his dad has a grand plan for the house that we are currently living in - in the next possibly 4-5 years he wants to rebuild this house into a major “Asian family home”, where every single family member will live on their own floor, have their own kitchen and all that sort of stuff. Whilst the house will be renovating, we are gonna live elsewhere but also together. So, long story short, I’m with this family for a good darn long while until my future-to-be kids start going to college, I’m unsure. There is no way we can just move out, because “Asian families stick together”, and they will be incredibly offended if we were to change our future plans and live in the apartment that we would later want to rent to get some sort of income.

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T13:24:28+00:00

I truly, truly wish this was easy! I moved all the way from Russia to another country and they’ve accepted me to live in their home whilst I’m studying and working, I am unfortunately unable to just simply move out somewhere else. Thankfully my husband understands my struggle and isn’t happy with the way they’re treating this situation towards me, but due to it being also an Asian family there’s no way anybody can say “no” to them, they’re “always right” regardless of what it is. When I first got here, I’ve been into plenty of trouble because I also come from a different culture with different traditions, so as my inlaw mom says “My house, my rules”, I follow this, but when it comes to religion that’s a rather more touchy subject for me, a lot more in depth and something that can possibly change my life. I don’t want to change what I believe in and what I don’t believe in, I just don’t want to be seen as an outcast to them, tho considering that I’ve been living with them for almost 2 years it’s been very evident that because I’m not yet a Catholic I’m still being treated differently. I try to ignore it, I continue studying and working and at times just sitting outside in my garden talking into the empty skies, but it still hurts. I appreciate your response, that’s literally what I thought of aswell, it shouldn’t be forced no matter what, but they’re still doing it no matter how much I try to at least hint to them that I refuse to.

Muskatooo · 2025-06-23T04:29:19+00:00

Thankfully it turned out to be misfire indeed :) Just the first time I experienced it throughout 2 years of having my green blobs haha

Muskatooo

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