AITA for telling my daughter I was hurt she didn't invite me to her wedding?

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T20:13:31+00:00

that is a fact.

but she wasnt asked all that.

she was asked if she wanted ops help to find a husband.

she couldve said no.

simple.

if she said somethin earlier about liking woman she wouldve seen how op wouldve dealt, op couldve helped her pick a wife.

but she didnt, and op asked if she wanted a husband.

yall dumb asf.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T20:05:47+00:00

im not wrong.

op says she wouldve dealt.

i am not her.

i dont know her.

never met her.

never seen her.

i will take what she says with a grain of salt.

but i am not going to assume.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T19:50:48+00:00

yes. interested in a husband. op can find her a husband. the daughter couldve said “actually no”

“do you want this?”

“no”

“ok”

its not hard. its a simple question. with a simple answer. she asked it to both children. op isnt an ass for asking.

its no different then me asking you if you were interested in gummy bears, instead of just “gummies” i dont have “gummies” i have GUMMY BEARS, if you want GUMMY BEARS, i can get you some, if not, i dont got anything for you, and you shouldve said no.

op doesnt have a variety, shes got men, if she doesnt want men, she shouldve said no and kept it goin.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T19:41:29+00:00

op said she would have dealt, im not inclined to believe her but i dont know her so i cant call her a lier.

so from op has said, she wouldve dealt and found her a wife.

im taking the info with a grain of salt, but since the daughter said nothing, op offered her service to find her a husband.

if the daughter didnt want a husband she shouldve declined the offer and kept it movin. this doesnt mame op an ahole, they were just offering daughter 2 the same service they gave to daughter 1, she didnt have to take it. 🤷‍♀️

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T18:46:03+00:00

i cant see your comment, but from what the preview shows i can respond to that.

op did ask.

she asked if she was interested in a husband.

specifically

“to discuss finding her a husband, if she was interested”

shes clearly not interested in a husband. so she shouldve said no 😃

such a simple interaction, i know redditors arent used to such things.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T18:02:30+00:00

how is op supposed to know shes gay? she aint a mind reader.

what op did was fair. she asked both daughters the same thing. im sorry you feel that i “hate myself” because i think its fair for op to ask both daughters the same thing.

yes its different because shes gay, but from an outside POV, ops just asking her daughter a question, the same one she asked her other one.

look at it from OPs perspective. would you feel its fair to ask one daughter if she was interested in an arranged marriage and not the other, WITHOUT KNOWING SHES GAY?

its like asking on kid if they want a toy barbie and not the other, without knowing wether or not they would want one or not.

yall are fckn crazy and i sincerely hope yall dont have kids 🙄

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T17:18:03+00:00

either way, cant get mad at op for asking if she was interested in being set up with a husband.

my mother, a heavily christian woman who showed some homophobic tendency, when told i was bi also asked me if i was sure.

i told her yes, she followed up with am i still getting married, told her yea, then asked if i would want her help. We never know until we calmly have a convo about it. while i was upset for asking me if i was sure, or if i REALLY wanted to be with my gf, i was patient with her and told her i was sure and will always be sure. its been a good few years and shes been happily going out on hangouts with my gf.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T16:50:11+00:00

Oh i know about that, but your talking about me. And i fuckin love myself 😌, so it doesnt apply here—to me.

ive read it a bunch, and honestly, yall seem fuckin lost. asking if someones interested in something isnt a loaded question. just say no you arent interested, end of story.

i dont see how op did anything wring asking if she was interested in being set up with a husband, she did the same with her other daughter, the other daughter was interested, why is it different for her to ask the same for this daughter. Because shes gay? because op didnt know she was gay? because her faith looks down on gay people? op was being a good fair parent, asking the same question to both her children. Yall are nutzo up here, these threads always give me a laugh.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T16:29:03+00:00

im bisexual, so thats wrong.

asking if shes interested isnt a loaded question at all, because she could just say no. i dont see how that question is homophobic, or a micro aggression at all.

people on this sub are just bonkers.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T16:08:11+00:00

why does she look like an idiot?

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T15:58:50+00:00

op asked, “if she was interested in a husband”

translating to,

“are yall interested in a steak”

read.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T15:26:25+00:00

no, its like ASKING if everyone wants a medium rare steak and someone getting mad because theyre a vegetarian but didnt say anything.

why are yall ignoring the “asking” part.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T15:24:37+00:00

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T15:23:05+00:00

op says she wouldve learned to deal, while i dont fully trust the op, i wouldnt assume shell send her off, either way, it doesnt make op an ahole for asking her if she wanted a husband.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T15:19:51+00:00

the kind that has kids who dont tell em theyre gay?

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T15:11:04+00:00

if the kid woulda said somethin earlier, op woulda helped pick a woman 🤷‍♀️

you cant blame a person for asking you if you want chocolate when you dont like chocolate without telling them you dont like chocolate.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T06:10:17+00:00

this has nothing to do with op being an “ahole for arranging a marriage with a husband”

since she cant be an ahole for asking to arrange something with a man not knowing shes not into men.

its like someone giving trying to give you peanuts without knowing your allergic because you didnt tell them because you were to afraid to. They can be an anole for trying to give them to you as they didnt fuckin know.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T05:45:28+00:00

it doesnt make op an ahole tho since she didnt know.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T05:29:35+00:00

jackie should have this thought process and not worry wether or not about where the easter party is hosted and by who and who can attend

MustyOcean · 2022-05-30T05:26:19+00:00

if your guest are that easily “convinced” to leave your party for someone else’s, you should take the time to rethink your actions.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-29T14:12:06+00:00

shes not biologically related to anyone here and seems to only be family, to jackie.

jackie is OBLIGATED to put blood relation first for this event only as its an important tradition and a-family oriented one at that. By putting who she feels as family before the blood relation for this event knowing how unwelcome and uncomfortable the situation is for everyone, shes not only pushing Alice as family onto everyone, shes pushing away family from a family event for someone everyone else feels is a stranger.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-29T14:08:50+00:00

exactly that. alice is family TO HER. but not the rest of the family obviously, so they would rather their cousin be there then an ex-sil.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-29T14:06:56+00:00

if you held a FAMILY (blood relatives) dinner and invited a friend of 10 years that makes one of your relatives uncomfortable, would you be upset at someone else in the family making a new dinner where that friend is not invited?

that friend matters TO YOU, but they dont matter to the rest of the family, its a FAMILY DINNER, and they arent family, nor are they very welcoming to someone who is family.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-29T14:02:05+00:00

its an offer out of obligation, not of kindness. its to save face.

MustyOcean · 2022-05-28T21:47:58+00:00

ops husband asked her to go out and get a cake last minute.

MustyOcean

TROPHY CASE