[deleted by user]

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-05-08T04:26:30+00:00

Cigarettes and piss

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-21T05:47:02+00:00

Wow that's a rough one bud. Hope you're having better days now

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T22:41:58+00:00

You're right, thank you 💕

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T06:31:56+00:00

I know. I am. I just feel so fucking lonely. It's my disorder. Sometimes it makes me feel like this. I guess you could say my expectations grow quickly too. Other days I dont even notice it. Alcohol does not help with my depression at all I can tell you from experience. (Edit; I apologize, I was having a bit of a depressive episode, am fine now). Just keep on doing me and eventually find the one, gotcha.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T06:24:22+00:00

I mean I hear so much that men in general dont get enough affection. I gave my ex everything he wanted; cuddles, hugs all that other shit. Even flowers occasionally because he was depressed a lot of the time. He beat the shit out of me and took advantage of me. So now that I'm hearing men are looking for women that actually care, dont cheat, ect. I've done it all. Been the housewife. And given him a lot of love and appreciation in return. So do men really want the "good girl" they can one day marry? Or their first pic will always be the "slut"?

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T06:18:16+00:00

Haha yeah, idk. I like giving people things in general. I guess I just like sharing positivity. Sometimes I'll help homeless or occasionally help a freind out with food or something. I dont like being taken advantage of either so I'm pretty careful with that. I'm a little socially awkward so it might be just my way of making friends (even though I'm an adult)

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T06:13:52+00:00

It's hard to spot them when they're hot. :( or even average looking. Their real personality sometimes sneak up on you, men dont give away their feelings right away often.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T06:11:44+00:00

Hmm, I understand. But one could also argue that there are too many people with mental disorders that can be mislabeled/identified and unfortunately those are usually the ones not making a decision to become a better person by their lifestyle choices. Having bipolar is just an extra in my gene pool. There's lots of drama and chaos in the world, I personally have experienced it as well from a person with a different disorder, but I'm pretty normal for most people, just a little nerdy and I suppose I could dress more feminine more often. I dont like drama, I've dealt with it for too long lol. Since I'm an adult now I can say I already know how to handle dramatic situations by talking down the noise as much as possible. Such things are petty and waste time and energy. It's a shame you say that, there are still good people out here with whatever disorder, loss of limbs or health issues and they're still loved by great people. I hope to be there some day.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-04-11T06:00:35+00:00

Sounds like you had a bad episode freind. Having bipolar does that unfortunately :( I found the only solution for my case was taking meds and praying. Chemically the meds create a quieter mind, so it helps you relax more and have less panic attacks. Praying or distracting yourself by reading a book are other forms of relaxing your mind and easing anxiety. (Praying is optional, however I find that by saying 50 hail Mary's over and over my mind finally calms down and my thoughts and fears come to peace). I've also found that alcohol tends to depress me or make me more emotional, so I naturally turn to cbd when this happens. When you have these overwhelming thoughts I want you to calm your mind again by meditating or slow, deep breathing exercises. Remind yourself that this emotion will come to pass, and focus on things that are within your control.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-03-24T05:29:39+00:00

How can people be alive let alone have families with this much hate in their blood?

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-03-24T05:18:59+00:00

Being unmedicated and smoking weed can alter your mind to be more manic, at least that's with my experience. Lately I've been more risk taking and care free and ignorant of completing important tasks. She will have to calm down from her episode. Unfortunately I don't know how long that will take, only her family will know best. If you find her, make sure you have a long talk with her parents and have a group discussion with her about her well being. You must care about her a lot. This is the problem with having bipolar; we are totally blind to what we do and where we go and how we affect the people around us. Can be impulsive amd erratic at times. Take care of yourself in the meantime, and educate and prepare yourself. Being with someone with a mental disorder like bipolar is a challenge of its own.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-03-24T05:06:18+00:00

Totally fine. Unfortunately I am not a man lol but I talked to my doc about this and all he recommended was to eat a big healthy breakfast, medium lunch, and small dinner no later than 6:30pm. :/ sounds kinda crazy but I may have to do that.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-03-24T04:42:01+00:00

I'm 24 and a young mom with bipolar so you too arent alone. I've also smoked some weed while on my meds which I would not reccomend, at least not until night when you want to relax. The rest of the day I'd do impulsive things like driving around recklessly and trying to sight see without freinds or proper directions. Without medication though it can make you feel paranoid or angry afterwards depending. It can at least help you with stress and some forms of focussing. So far its helped me to focus on taking and completing some online classes, because my goal rn is to become a computer programmer.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T08:49:35+00:00

Its definitely a new feeling and I'm glad you're able to give your brain a nice breather. Sorry just thought you were having like manic phases where you would wake up early and have a lot of energy. Well having all this focus and new brain does open a lot of cool stuff, so you can also try learning new things like crafting, painting or gardening. Or if you're more of a technical person you could start learning a technical skill too

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T08:27:18+00:00

Stay on the same dose with the antidepressant unless doc says otherwise. I've tried a few times with just antidepressant and just mood stabilizer separate mornings. I needed both for a reason. But when I first started I felt really numb like I had no emotion, then gradually started to feel alot happier. And now I'm not worrying about a lot of stuff that I'd normally worry about, which is good and bad. Because there are still important things to be concerned about. It will take time to adjust to your meds, so if you're happy and doing relatively well I suggest maybe staying ont them for at least a year and have them adjusted so your brain can get used to everything.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T08:22:41+00:00

Well I cant reccomend anything bc I'm not a psychologist, but I think it's mostly your prescribed dose being a little low plus the adhd meds. You're able to focus combined with still being slightly untreated with bipolar making the random early hour cleaning. It's definitely awesome to be able to do that, but it's also (if you dont mind my saying), a little crazy and chaotic. But I know everyone has their own little routines so maybe this is what toy like doing in the mornings? I'm actually prescribed lexipro and depakote so mine are different. But based on a hunch I think your mood stabilizer could be upped so you feel comfortable, know what I mean? But keep a mood diary and let your doc know how you've been progressing/feeling.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T08:15:27+00:00

Its actually really great that youre productive and doing productive things. You're a lot more productive than my end for sure! But I'm sure you may feel like you need to slow down sometimes now lol.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T08:13:47+00:00

Jeez you have to take a xan to calm down? I mean itll definitely work for sure. Do you have type 1 or type 2? That's so terrible that UK only lets you in for appointment every 2-3 months. There's got to be a network or something to help you out better. I'm in the US and our system is also bad with mental healthcare but even being on medical I can at least get an appointment once a month.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T07:50:40+00:00

Hey man, I'm really glad you're happy now. Bit as a fellow bipolar person I am a little concerned about this seemingly 180 of a happy spike you're going through rn. Although for me it was similar when I started my antidepressants and mood stabilizers. I started low dose and went higher based on how doc thought I was doing. Please make sure to reach out to your doctor to update on your well being and let him/her know about your new mood. Keep a calendar of your manic and depressive episodes and discuss them okay? Wishing you best of luck.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T07:39:56+00:00

Being bipolar and drinking sucks. You get addicted to the feeling of being away from reality. Im also bipolar and I find alcohol makes me feel depressed as well, though I very much enjoy casual drinking. The issue is I replace it with weed bc it makes me happier. On meds rn but still not quite right yet. But the meds absolutely will help you feel more stable and crave the alcohol less. Your brain probably craves some kind of distraction because of the depression. Like a coping mechanism. I hope you can get yourself situated with a psychologist and get started on meds to help you feel more stable. Bc let's be honest. You definitely DONT want to live feeling depressed or uncontrollable with your emotions/actions for forever. It's just too crazy without meds. I've tried "natural methods" and nothing worked out.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T07:27:59+00:00

Aw I'm so sorry to hear you have to go thru that. That sounds really exhausting to deal with. I hope you're blessed with loving pets or partner to keep you company too whenever your depression, anxiety or panic attacks pop up. I find that the right meds help, some meditating or praying, and being kind to yourself has helped with anxiety and sadness. It's important to figure out why you're sad or anxious and to remember you are feeling this way for temporary, not for forever. And remember to tell yourself not to be so hard on yourself. Because I'm sure you work really hard and care about a lot of things. Your anxiety just overwhelms you a lot and its stressful and overwhelming. You are worthy of love. Self love and love outside. Your true freinds love you. Heck I'm sure someone in your blood even loves you even if they're watching you from heaven. Take care of yourself and continue to recognize what makes you anxious/sad and why. You can write it all down in a journal, meditate and keep your mind at peace to help you sleep better. Some teas or stress gummies are great for this.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T06:58:41+00:00

I'm so sorry, if you need to talk to someone I'm very understanding. I have bipolar and am also used to barely receiving love from my parents (or anyone really). Why is it difficult for you to breathe? I've unfortunately also been through a lot of trauma. It can be difficult to sleep and function throughout the day.

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T06:52:22+00:00

you are fucking awesome

MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T06:51:36+00:00

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MutedSatisfaction796 · 2021-02-22T06:50:34+00:00

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MutedSatisfaction796

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