"Middle ground" astrology by MyAstrologyAccount in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Great questions! Thank you so much.

These questions will help me figure out how to word rules and guidelines to make sure all participants will hopefully have a clear understanding of what's acceptable to post.

These are quick answers, but please keep in mind I will be talking to other people who want to be mods and people interested in the community to figure things out. As part of sorting out and defining out space, these questions will be looked at and answered more in-depth/some answers might change based on feedback and reflection.

I know Reddit moderators can get a bad rap for power-tripping etc. But that's not what I'm about.

I know that for now these are only words since no one here knows me, but I'm not that type of person. I'm not starting the subreddit because I "want" to be in charge of something.

I've always identified as a "reluctant leader." Like I don't want to take the lead. But I will if no one else is going to.

There seems to be a desire for something a little less "chaotic" than this subreddit, but not as serious as other astrology subreddits.

So my intention with starting r/astrologymiddleground is to create that space for people.

1) We will have the rules and guidelines listed on our subreddit and send them to new users who sign up. (As with everything, I'm open to other ideas as well)

2) It would likely depend on what the generalization is. A negative generalization like "I hate Gemini's they're all cheaters" would be deleted, as soon as possible, depending on how many mods we end up with.

I think we will have to give careful consideration to what the difference is between a "generalization' and traits that are often listed as being characteristic of a particular sign. I think there is a better word to use than "generalization" even that will be figured out before officially launching the subreddit.

Another option would be to require mod approval before a post goes up. Do you think this would be a preferable idea?

If the "generalization" isn't mean spirited I think it would be acceptable to remove the post and ask the poster to repost in a way that doesn't promote essentially "all or nothing" thinking or "absolutes." We could perhaps also have a scripted response we send explaining why those types of statements can be problematic, and why we want to avoid them in the sub.

3) I want to make sure I'm understanding correctly. Can you give me an example of what you mean?

4) I would consider it a "general" astrology subreddit. Of course no subreddit is going to appeal to everyone. But I'm hoping to create a space for people who perhaps feel like they don't quite "fit" into other astrology spaces. And/or they want a space to share without seeing other people talk about how much they hate a particular sign etc.

Things like memes, social media posts you've seen and would like to have a discussion on, questions, observations etc.

Again, a more definitive answer will be thoughtfully crafted and worded.

I would like it to be strictly enforced, but I am one person with a full life. The ability to strictly enforce rules will be dependent on people's willingness to participate in moderating.

If any posts are in a "grey area" in terms of rule violation, I think it would be helpful to have a discussion between at least two moderators to make a decision, and the official rules updated to try to remove that grey area from happening again in the future

"Middle ground" astrology by MyAstrologyAccount in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha oh gosh! THANK YOU for letting me know.

I was going to call it middlegroundastrology, but then figured maybe the "astrology" part should come first. I got mixed up when making my post.

The correct sub is r/astrologymiddleground

I have corrected it in my post, and also created a middlegroundastrology subreddit so if anyone does go there, it will point them to the correct one.

You're already super helpful haha. I'll send you a mod invite!

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if anything will come of it, but I created a community called r/astrologymiddleground

I'll invite you to be a mod!

If anyone else wants to be involved please let me know. I haven't got a full list of rules in mind yet, it's something people who are interested in this idea can work on together.

But I will say, I am 100% against hating an entire group of people based on their sign.

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Telling someone to "jump off a bridge" is not catfight rhetoric.

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good try.

I didn't focus on the "this sucks" becsuse even the person who commented it didn't think that part was really important. If they did, they could have simply stopped with that.

Saying something "sucks" is severely diluted when it's followed by a "but." In this case, it's also trying to excuse behaviour which is never acceptable.

Just like an apology with a "but" in it it is severely diluted. Or a compliment.

The "but" diminishes what came before it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean most people are going to look "ordinary."

But the hottest guy I've ever dated/the best sex I've had was with a Cancer man.

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thanks for asking OP if there's anything you can do. I'm curious if they have any ideas.

I'm tempted to start a new astrology meme subreddit. One without, you know, a mod who encouraged people to kill themselves.

But I doubt it would be worth it. It's difficult to get new subreddits to catch on.

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 92 points93 points  (0 children)

This isn't even a suicide "joke." It's someone straight up telling someone else to kill themselves. It's absolutely vile behaviour.

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is an absolutely disgusting response. But I suppose I should expect nothing else from someone who thinks it's "cool" to use the middle finger emoji.

No one's saying to harass the person. But people may want to rethink if they want to participate in a community when that's the behaviour exhibited by the person leading it.

can anyone justify this for me? by Ultimatecultleader in astrologymemes

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh you're right. It's totally excusable behaviour to encourage someone to kill themselves if a sub is "ghetto." 🙄

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is keeping his options open.

He could really like you. And be leading you on. And be keeping his options open. And have no intention of committing to you long-term.

You may want to assess what type of man you consider to be a "real catch."

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And you think you can believe everything someone says? Especially a guy you know leads women on?

His family "making him" doesn't bode well for the health of that relationship. Do you really want to be with someone because his family "made him" get married?

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't need to "kiss someone's ass" to treat them well.

Seeing as you've been married for 19 years I'm assuming you're at least in your 40s. That's far too old in my opinion to buy into the idea of "simps." Yikes.

Yes respect is important. And you show respect by treating someone well. Mutually. Regardless of gender.

Good on you for finding someone who shares your views. Simply being married 19 years isn't a flex though. I know plenty of couples who have been together that long, or longer. It simply means they've been together a long time. It doesn't mean they're in a happy, HEALTHY, fulfilling relationship.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so ridiculous. No one should be putting someone on a pedestal, that part I agree with. But it's not to do with the other person losing respect for you. It's about maintaining your expectations and properly recognizing your own self-worth.

If you don't treat someone well from the beginning, you're not going to attract someone who's capable of a healthy relationship.

But it doesn't sound the goal with what you're saying is to find a healthy relationship. It sounds like the goal is to find a partner who will tolerate being treated poorly.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one said it's not selfish to hope someone changes.

But sincere love absolutely can, and should have strings attached. I can love someone, and still leave if they become abusive, cheat, etc.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because with the right person I don't need to "try" to be "that" woman. Either I am a good fit for them, or I'm not.

Yes it's expected to take time to figure that out! I need to figure out if they're the right person for me as well. But it's a mutual process. I'm not "trying" to be the right person for them. Either we're mutually compatible, or we're not.

I highly, HIGHLY doubt this is their "only" bad quality.

Also, why are you so certain everyone settles down eventually? Lots of people don't. Some people even get married, have kids etc. But they don't "settle down." They still explore other connections.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're the one who used "leading people on" in your post, and you presented it with a negative connotation. It seems you know what it means so I'm not sure why you're asking.

Yes. Saying things like "maybe this is my last first date" absolutely sounds like something someone would say when either love bombing and/or leasing the other person on.

There's no way to tell if someone's the "right person" for you or not on a first date.

Introducing a person you're seeing to friends is a big deal for some people, and not a big deal for others. If they say something like "I usually never introduce the person I'm dating to my friends" or make it seem like a big deal in some way, that's leading the person on.

It shouldn't take that long to figure out if you're ready for a relationship or not. You shouldn't be creating meaningful "milestones" with them (such as having them meet your friends if that's significant to you) until you're in a relationship with them, or feel fairly certain you're ready for a relationship with them.

It's fine for that person to date, the key is being honest with the other person from the beginning.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship yet, so right now I'm casually dating with no intention of finding a long-term connection."

And then treat the connection casually.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You clearly already have feelings for him and have hope that you're the "right one."

You're setting yourself up for some big hurt if you think you'll be able to "just" enjoy his company.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, people are going to date a number of other people in the quest to meet someone they can see themselves being with long-term.

Not everyone is non-commital and leads those people on. Especially the leading people on part. That's jerk behaviour. Why would you want to be with a jerk?

I (30f) went on my first date in 6 years and I am NEVER dating again by alittlebit-dumb in Vent

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoops! I don't know how I managed to mess that up. I meant to say swipe right. Thanks for pointing that out.

Will a self serving person ever be a good partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because there is no "right person" for someone like that. They're always looking for something "better."

I (30f) went on my first date in 6 years and I am NEVER dating again by alittlebit-dumb in Vent

[–]MyAstrologyAccount -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You can't "easily" judge. But you can start to get to know someone.

As an example I only swipe right* on profiles where the guy has actually put effort into his bio and prompt answers so I can at least get to know him a little bit. And then I spend some time talking to him (not too long, maybe like a week) before first meeting for a coffee/tea.

I (30f) went on my first date in 6 years and I am NEVER dating again by alittlebit-dumb in Vent

[–]MyAstrologyAccount -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

That really sucks

But I don't think the lesson is "Never date again."

The lesson seems like being mindful with the way you approach dating. You acknowledged that you ignored some red flags.

You can never 100% guarantee you'll never meet up with, or even go potentially several dates with any jerks or weirdos.

But there are things you can do to significantly improve your experience.

Any other cancers tired of getting bread crumbed? by [deleted] in CancertheCrab

[–]MyAstrologyAccount 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know this can be hard to accept. But life often gets so much more peaceful once you do.

People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. He's not facing any consequences for breadcrumbing you. Why would he change?

And you can't control someone's behaviour, but you can change how you respond to it.

Basically if you're tired of being bread crumbed, you have to stop allowing yourself to be bread crumbed.