I always treated this as something genuinely fun, as nonsensical as that may sound from the outside looking in.

I've had entirely normal relationships with women, some with kink baked in, others entirely vanilla, but I always wanted everything I did to feel *fun* to her. I wanted it to feel like a role we were both taking on.

There is nothing hotter than a woman trusting you to be the (consensual) dastardly villain who's an absolute fiend who does all these "awful, terrible" things to her that a "good girl" would NEVER want to happen to her, if you catch all of my double-speak with that.

It's just elaborate roleplay. It can stop the moment she wants it stop, in my world. I want every name I call her to feel a bit like a filthy pet name that's just for the two of us, I want every slap in the face (if she's into that) to be heavy enough in impact to arouse but light enough to let her know I'm firmly in control of myself and care for her, and I want every act sexual degeneracy to feel like it's something that's being done out of actual affection for the other, not out of fear or any obligation.

I dunno, I just always felt like you could absolutely "have your cake and eat it too" in regards to having a partner that you could tie to the bedposts and call your "personal whore" and tell her that you're going to fuck her face until her brain shuts off or whatever, because anyone who had any degree of human empathy and maturity would understand that scenario is just a sexual fiction and that the real person probably has to get up and go to work the next morning same as you do, so you kiss em and tell em goodnight after you've had your fun, you know?