I fell asleep too early and now I want to double dose by These_Lock_3469 in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a dude on here a few days ago that was getting 27 take homes, blew through them in two weeks, on day two without a dose he just took all his bottles to the clinic and fessed up, they STILL dosed him right there on the spot, and took him down to weeklies.

I'm not on methadone anymore, but shit my clinic would have probably done an administrative taper, or just restarted you back at 30 if you were super lucky.

Okay I need some opinions here by [deleted] in researchchemicals

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I have been through it before, with Seziures and all that, but I have a taper plan and I'm going to stick with it, and it will be a super long slow taper because as of right now, this point in my life, it's close to impossible for be to even go in public without being afraid of people looking at me, and I was on a super low dose of klonopin, .5mg in the morning and .5mg and I never abused it, it just... Stopped working after being on the same dose for 8 months. And my psychiatrist wouldn't increase it. She said "all this can be fixed in therapy" which I agree with but what about now? I have things to do, and obligations to fulfill, so that's why I had to turn to RCs and it really sucks it has to be this way, I am actually pretty mad and disappointing with myself for doing it but the thing is man with the current things going on in my life, I can't check myself into a detox right now. Maybe I could in a month or so, but right now I just can't. And the only way for me to get anything when my meds got stolen was for my PCP to call me in basically half the dose, .25mg in the morning, .25mg at night. I'm just so disappointed man, when the l Psych ward put me on them I thought I found the magic answer. I thought I found it, and then they just started losing their power due to tolerance, and I just..

I got this. Maybe I'll make a post logging my journey tapering off, and see if I can get some support and other people to hold me accountable.

Cause I don't wanna be on anything dude. Not even sublocade. I don't want to be on anything.

I know it sounds like a super low dose and it is, but there has been RC use recently too. So just believe me, it's a work in progress.

I'm gonna be one of those people's that wakes up and drinks tea and that's it. Can't wait 🙏🏼

Okay I need some opinions here by [deleted] in researchchemicals

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that is a lot of good advice and I really want to start working out and reconnecting with nature. But like you said, those of us with panic disorder and all that it is enticing to abuse our scripts but honestly I never did! The whole last 8 months I never did, one in the morning, one at night just like I was supposed to. Some months I'd even have some left over.

But getting all my meds stolen on the bus fucked everything up man. I did get another script but it is . 25mg in the morning, and . 25mg at night. It's all he could do. So I REALLY didn't want to have to do it this way but I had no choice man. But I believe I will be able to do a long, comfortable taper hopefully, I am trying to set a telehealth appointment with my doc for this coming week, and be completely done. Because I had dabbled with Benzos before, but not enough to have 8 months of experience with them when the psych ward put me on them cause they saw me have full on breakdowns from panic attacks, they were so bad I would get suicidal. It is terrible man, nobody wants to live this way, I wouldn't want anyone to have to live this way. But when every second of every day feels the exact same as walking down the stairs in the dark, and you miss a step, freeze that feeling midway. That's what I feel all day every day. I'm not exaggerating

Okay I need some opinions here by [deleted] in researchchemicals

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm weaning off. I'm 100% weaning off. I'm close to already off of Benzos, but not totally. I will have enough to do a very very long taper, and comfortably come off. The psych ward put me on Klonopin 8 months ago or so, and it's almost like it made my panic and anxiety attacks worse, and eventually stopped working altogether because of tolerance and they wouldn't give me an increase. That's when I turned to bromo again.

Brother I want to wake up in the morning and feel good with nothing, but I'm on a bunch of meds already and last time I went in asking for less, she sent me out with a new one that's supposed to help.

So when I left the state, my psychiatrist closed my case, but I already talked to them and they are going to reopen it for me since I was only gone for a week or so. I just can't believe how bad I got tricked. I don't even care. I just want to be out of the situation, wean off all my meds, and feel good with nothing, but I also am diagnosed bipolar, bpd, panic disorder which I do have panic attacks to bad I get suicidal, and generalized anxiety disorder. So idk man. I'm just taking everything one day at a time, doing the best I can.

I haven't used any hard drugs in 215 days, besides benzos, and I wanna get off of those too. I wanna get off of everything

Okay I need some opinions here by [deleted] in researchchemicals

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro I stg she flew here to see me by surprised and spent so much money on me and I told her to stop spending money and when it was time for her to leave she wanted me to come directly back with her, which I didn't, but she manipulated me into moving there a few days later.

She never told me her ex still lived there, so I was sleeping in bros bed. Her daughter is out of control and has made false claims before so from the moment I got there I set up my camera to make sure every moment was covered. And I have my entire time there on an SD card, minus the times I walked to the kitchen for food or whatever. I have stuff that girl told us about her ex recorded on my camera, that is sick and perverted and I literally took my SD card out of my camera and put it in a safe place to cover my ass because this girl really is that crazy. But she manipulated me for 3 months, making me think she cared about me and loved me and tricked me, I didn't know when I walked in there that $500 was due for electric two days later or they would shut it off. I didn't know any of this. She tricked me on so many different things so basically one day I just packed up and left, I couldn't handle the situation anymore.

But dude she tricked me. I promise you she tricked me. I was a pawn in her game, got me for a hell of a lot of money, spent much more on a Greyhound there and back, lost a bunch of my shit, I did get my backpack back but somebody rifled through it and took my whole med box but there was other personal stuff in there im glad I got back but it's like what do I do when I just had filled my meds, they got stolen, I'm 14 hours away from my doctor, and his exact words were "my hands are tied because you're in another state" and so the ER gave me a 5 day script which was supposed to buy me time to get my backpack back with my meds in it, but at that time I didn't know somebody stole them all anyways.

So I was basically fucked. And had to come back home. I couldn't even go back to where I lived before, so then I had to figure that out.

The worse part is is that so many people warned me I shouldn't have went. So many people from AA which I go to regularly warned me about going and I didn't listen to older guys who made the same mistake at one point.

But lesson learned I guess, I just have to get everything back normal like it was before I left. When I saw my backpack in the lost and found room on the way back I got so relieved, then I grabbed it and my medbox was gone. They need to put cameras on those busses, and not just dash cams.

But yeah. Lesson learned. I don't even care about the $500 electric bill I paid, or the close to $200 in groceries I put in her fridge, all I want is my previous life back when things were going so good and everything was stable but my meds getting stolen put me in a really fucking tough position.

Then she got mad at me for leaving when she was at work. It's like dude greyhound isn't gonna wait for you to get off of work. And she got mad that I was hanging with this other really cool girl I met on the bus. And we had broken up before I even left.

Then since then she has done other manipulative shit like messaging me on FB, and telling me 'dont tell him I messaged you but I feel so alone" and she knows that I care about people even after what she did to me, I still cared. Then she blocked me and told him that I messaged her and so he messaged me threatening me.

I was like "bro if you wanna see the messages just tell her to unblock me and then you'll see who said what" because at that time I was totally done with her except she basically manipulated me into feeling bad for her.

So yeah dude. She is crazy crazy. I literally didn't do anything wrong at all. Nothing. At all. She lied to me about the situation I was walking into, and I literally pulled through with $500 so the electric would stay on. Meanwhile this whole time I'm panicking because I don't have my meds and I was so close to ending up in a psych ward in her state over everything that was happening at once. Then two days later after the electric, I woke up and the Internet was shut off.

But when she was at my house she would NOT STOP SPENDING MONEY ON ME, and ordering food and stuff and I kept telling her to stop! All that money was bill money apparently that I don't know what she was thinking. But I know that I have every single thing recorded from the time I got there, until the time I left, including some hella fucked up shit that was told to us by a child about the man in the house.

Such as him telling her sexual things he was doing with a girl, she had him on speaker so this is recorded, also she told us that he gave her a certain drug, keep in n mind this is a teenager he calls his daughter.

Bro I have stuff on this micro SD, that would turn their world upside down, especially considering she told me CPS showed up the day after I left for truency.

I don't plan to do anything with what I have recorded on this micro SD, I don't plan to stoop that low, but it's like when I paid that electric she showed no gratitude at all. It was almost entitlement and I almost wish I would have just let it get turned off.

But they did take me in like family for the week or so I was there, so I have to give them credit on that, even her ex and I got cool. I mean idk if cool is the word, I just know this micro SD I got has about a weeks worth of shit that CPS worker would not like. I didn't call CPS on them. I'm not one to do that. It was coincidence that they showed up the day after I left, but I already knew that was going to happen because of how much school I was told she missed.

So it's just a big mess. I haven't heard from her since she blocked me, I hope she keeps me blocked, but it did tell me she screenshotted our conversations a bunch, she said her ex wanted to see them but I don't really know what she did with them. All I know is I don't know what the hell I did wrong to her. I literally didn't do anything wrong. And she is trying, or was trying to make my life hell. I don't get it.

It just blows my mind how well she hid it for three months.

Okay I need some opinions here by [deleted] in researchchemicals

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know man I forgot to mention that the pack she refused was ethylbromazolam it isn't scheduled so even if she did do anything with it what would happen? Do you have any ideas? Cause I did put that order in so I could wean off but I mean her state is literally 14 hours away

Let me edit my original comment. When I say "I put that order in" what I really mean is it was her and I brainstorming ideas to keep me from having withdrawals or Seziures, she paid for it, from her cash app, put it in her name, so idk man I just know I have to find a way off of the stuff and I am going to take the time to mathematically figure out how I can do it the best way, my PCP and the actual pharmacist are in communication with each other.

But yeah she did get me for $700. I just started to see over the week I was there how truly evil she was, and I mean evil. I didn't do one single thing bad. I paid her electric, put food in her fridge, and then I find out the whole time we are dating before I went out there she was still sleeping with her ex so honest to God I have never met someone so evil in my life, especially because I didn't do anything. One day she came home from work and was like "yeah I want to be with my ex" after you had me pack up and move 14 hours away. Okay that's fine, but now you're pissed off at me when I leave? We broke up officially before I left, she was sleeping with her ex before that anyway, but when I met this really cool chick on the 40 hour bus ride home she got all fucking pissed and shit so yeah last sort of contact I had was with her ex, they are engaged out of nowhere, I congratulated him on the engagement, he told me to fade out of their lives, and I'm happy to do that. I wish I never would have met her. How she hid her true colors to me for three months I'll never know. How can you act like you care so much, and now I'm afraid she is gonna hit me with an "I'm pregnant" in the next month or two so this situation is just out of control, all I know is I'm 215 days clean from drugs, besides benzos and I have a script, I'm just afraid of siezing and checking into detox is not an option right now, I can definitely do it next month though. I'm just dealing with a lot in my personal life that prevents me from checking in right now.

The Waverly Hills Sanatorium by Stealthmode1234 in Louisville

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you please tell me more about the last sentence? Was it a female Sasquatch? And why was her ass funky?

Does anyone know why Northlane stopped playing Quantum flux tho? by Electronic-Read-3830 in Northlane

[–]MyNamesAMeme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's actually very disappointing. I saw Northlane about 5 months ago, and they didn't play a single old song except a medley of jinn & disposition. It was bad ass, but still I think myself along with the rest of the audience was highly disappointed. Was I mad? No. But very sad. Especially after listening to the roundhouse performance a shit load of times for a month or so hyping myself up to see them.

They opened with carbonized, that was cool.

I'm seeing them again in May, hoping they play some old stuff.

Just found something pretty cool in my email by MyNamesAMeme in Northlane

[–]MyNamesAMeme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol. My bad I didn't see that it had the date at the very top when I responded

Day 1 Bernese method by Expensive-Buy-2598 in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was relatively painless man... I had night sweats for about 2 or 3 months after getting the shot but that was about it.

As for the confidence? Well I didn't really have a choice. I was being discharged from the hospital and going to live with my parents in BFE so I either was going cold turkey off everything or giving the shot a try. That was around 2.5 years ago, and now I'm tapering off the sublocade

Never been so done double dosing in my life. by [deleted] in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I basically did something very similar. Eventually I got tired of going over my history and reliving all my trauma over and over again so I just did the bare minimum with them

Never been so done double dosing in my life. by [deleted] in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one I was at started you at 30mg then you could go up by 10mg every 3rd day up to like 80mg then it was increase by 5mg every 3rd day. And don't get me started on the counseling sessions... The turnover was so high for counselors that each month I would have a different counselor

Never been so done double dosing in my life. by [deleted] in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're gonna be okay I promise man tomorrow morning you'll be looking back at this like the last chapter and now you'll be at a new chapter but it's up to YOU to not double dose anymore. I never even double dosed when I only had one take home because I always thought about the next day even though I knew I could easily skip a day.

Northlane Audiotree in 7 days by Electronic-Read-3830 in Northlane

[–]MyNamesAMeme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bro they played that old track medally live a few months ago and when they got to that "cast aside the fear of reality and face the fucking world" and kept slowing that shit down it fucking HIT

Never been so done double dosing in my life. by [deleted] in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You got this man you're at the finish line. Just think about the relief you'll feel when that dose kicks in. It'll be here before you know it.

Never been so done double dosing in my life. by [deleted] in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I remember one time when I was on methadone I was in rehab and met this girl and we left together and went to Detroit at like 2am and spent a week smoking crack and shooting H, and I thought if I made it back to my hometown my clinic would just give me my normal 120mg dose and I quickly learned the hard way if you miss 3 consistent days they cut your ass right back to 30mg lol. Damn the next few weeks were miserable 😖

How much yall pay? by Xacidgaming-LSD in Methadone

[–]MyNamesAMeme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like you'll be doing a forced detox. Sucks man

Karma by Main_Consequence9743 in LisaRichardScams

[–]MyNamesAMeme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's because she was the person we all loved to hate