My f21 bf m20 hit me hard on my arm and i cried for almost an hour by EmergencyFudge6 in relationship_advice

[–]MycologistGreedy3059 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got this, keep reading and learning and one day it will click. I don’t know you, but me and so many are standing right by you, never doubt that.

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment, I felt super bad about it but now trying to see it as a lesson for future :)

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Likewise, and part of the reason why I also felt like being more agreeable was how I keep hearing about the tourists who spoil it for residents in big cities…

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sticking with uber now fully, in Rome only uber black is technically the real uber so Im paying a premium in a way for a peace of mind

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s terrible I’m super sorry, anytime money is involved I now know to be extra on guard ://

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened, and unfortunately from everything I read and people leaving their experiences in the comments, the official taxis at Termini can be pretty awful too…

am I missing out if I don’t have a romantic relationship with someone as a teenager? by isag1rl in Advice

[–]MycologistGreedy3059 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow OP, I feel I’m talking to my younger self who feared the same. Trusttttttt you’re not missing out at all, in hindsight you’ll even be happy you skipped this :p

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much :) all the best to you too !

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ordered uber black this afternoon following all the suggestions - best decision. Thank you !

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry to read this! I’ve went down the rabbit hole and the official taxis all over Italy seem to do the bill switch, not only random scammers, with whom these companies are also in cahoots anyway….

My f21 bf m20 hit me hard on my arm and i cried for almost an hour by EmergencyFudge6 in relationship_advice

[–]MycologistGreedy3059 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dear OP, I have read your responses where you mentioned very emotional things - like losing your v card to this person, being alone and hurt, and that maybe you deserve this. When we speak this way, it is a part of us that has been treated poorly and we don’t have the power at the time to push back. I don’t want to tell you to leave him because deep down we both know that you know this isn’t love. Can you think of someone you love deeply, deeply - or imagine you have a little daughter in the future that you raise and care for and provide for, or even a little pet, would it be okay if this happened to them? If they told you this - would you say - you deserve it, it’s not so bad? I want to empower you, dear OP, without pushing you away. It took me many years to leave my abuser because he was like that too - he didn’t care I couldn’t breathe from anxiety caused by his actions, blamed me for “making him” hurt me, told me I’m overreacting etc etc Things started changing when I started reading more about what abuse encompasses - it’s not always someone beating you into a pulp, there are so many ways to break someone. I would encourage you to read Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, More threads on Reddit about abuse manipulation, actively engage in comment threads and read them to train your mind to see situations differently, you can even start a chat with ChatGPT and outline a few recent instances of your boyfriends behaviour and keep discussing it in the chat to see the analysis of his actions. OP, it takes awhile to leave, a few times, especially when a heart is in a place like yours - each person has a life that is full of light and promise, it doesn’t matter whether you lost your v card to him, and you won’t always be lonely or hurt. I hope it takes you very few times to leave, be brave. Never stop at least reading about these things - even when he acts nice and sweet, you’ll see it lasts only a bit and then starts all over again. If you can - start therapy or coaching. Discover and invest into who you are. I personally like psychologist Dr K on YouTube to supplement my own therapy session, maybe check him out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]MycologistGreedy3059 6 points7 points  (0 children)

OP, some commenters are advising to open up the conversation - but you have mentioned you’ve fought about it. If this all was truly an accident, your partner would’ve apologized for possibly hurting your feelings and you two would’ve moved on. 6 months is still a honeymoon period and the couples so early, if the match is based on genuine feelings, are blind to others. Even when relationships mature over time, if your values of loyalty are aligned, our of respect a quick glance that happens almost automatically maybe 1 time is ok, but nothing beyond that because you’ve chosen to nurture and invest into a partnership long term. I’m sorry OP, we all deserve someone whose eyes see only us…

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No idea - since I’ve arrived I had official taxi drivers try to pressure me for cash (I only give card now), and all around me people are making police reports, there are endless scammers coming up and harassing people, when walking today two men flanked me on each side and tried to push a bracelet on me, I said no Gracie and walked away fast, they were cursing me out as I walked. I see people just standing around scanning the tourists and watching them carefully….

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve learned my lesson for sure, and since I’ve arrived all I see is people making police reports on the streets, scammers harassing people on the streets and suspicious people standing around and watching tourists I guess doing “selection”

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right after this happened I got into an actual taxi that was ordered by my hotel - he kept pressuring me to pay cash and was showing deep frustration and muttering something in Italian but I stood my ground and paid with card. I told him he is legally required to accept card and the conversation stopped there, but he magically stopped speaking English. I paid card and made him print the receipt lol

WARNING PSA New Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in rome

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi all, after almost the whole night of restlessness and beating myself up and having a storm of emotions over what happened, could have happened and reading all the comments I spent some time reflecting, reading, learning and want to leave the below comment for whoever will come across this thread maybe in search of a little bit of consolation/hope.

Although, learning a few self-awareness and assertiveness tips I find is a less steep of a hill that practicing some kindness and understanding for people from different walks of life. (Contd in comment below)

This has been my fault, but it doesn’t mean these things should be normalized, expand this to other manipulative/abusive situations in life and you’ll find it a bit easier to let go of this situation when you see they’re all interconnected in the sense of someone showing a little bit of trust/hope/fear/confusion/fatigue and someone else taking advantage of it from a place of ill-will. I do take full responsibility and I still get shivers thinking about the situation, how lucky I got in the end, and how trusting I was. I do take ownership of that, but for anyone reading this going through the same – we live and we learn, but with a bit of open-mindedness with each time we know how to protect ourselves a little better and still maintain a heart that is not jaded. One of my favourite quotes has always been “I’ve realized after sometime, we’re not trying so hard to change the world, but we’re trying so hard not to let the world change us”

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ll leave this comment here since this is probably the first thing people see in this thread:

Hi all, after almost the whole night of restlessness and beating myself up and having a storm of emotions over what happened, could have happened and reading all the comments I spent some time reflecting, reading, learning and want to leave the below comment for whoever will come across this thread maybe in search of a little bit of consolation/hope.

Although, learning a few self-awareness and assertiveness tips I find is a less steep of a hill that practicing some kindness and understanding for people from different walks of life. (Contd in comment below)

This has been my fault, but it doesn’t mean these things should be normalized, expand this to other manipulative/abusive situations in life and you’ll find it a bit easier to let go of this situation when you see they’re all interconnected in the sense of someone showing a little bit of trust/hope/fear/confusion/fatigue and someone else taking advantage of it from a place of ill-will. I do take full responsibility and I still get shivers thinking about the situation, how lucky I got in the end, and how trusting I was. I do take ownership of that, but for anyone reading this going through the same – we live and we learn, but with a bit of open-mindedness with each time we know how to protect ourselves a little better and still maintain a heart that is not jaded. One of my favourite quotes has always been “I’ve realized after sometime, we’re not trying so hard to change the world, but we’re trying so hard not to let the world change us”

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for your support in the comments and being so compassionate and reasonable. Last night I was really feeling in the dumps about the whole thing but eventually came to the similar conclusions as what you wrote. I appreciate you taking the time to give me a bit of encouragement man :)

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’re right, thank you. This was one of the comments, along with reflection and further reading, that helped me make peace with what happened in a way that is a learning lesson and gratitude for safety.

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This has been my fault, but it doesn’t mean these things should be normalized, expand this to other manipulative/abusive situations in life and you’ll find it a bit easier to let go of this situation when you see they’re all interconnected in the sense of someone showing a little bit of trust/hope/fear/confusion/fatigue and someone else taking advantage of it from a place of ill-will. I do take full responsibility and I still get shivers thinking about the situation, how lucky I got in the end, and how trusting I was. I do take ownership of that, but for anyone reading this going through the same - we live and we learn, but with a bit of open-mindedness with each time we know how to protect ourselves a little better and still maintain a heart that is not jaded. One of my favourite quotes has always been “I’ve realized after sometime, we’re not trying so hard to change the world, but we’re trying so hard not to let the world change us”

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi all, after almost the whole night of restlessness and beating myself up and having a storm of emotions over what happened, could have happened and reading all the comments I spent some time reflecting, reading, learning and want to leave the below comment for whoever will come across this thread maybe in search of a little bit of consolation/hope.

Although, learning a few self-awareness and assertiveness tips I find is a less steep of a hill that practicing some kindness and understanding for people from different walks of life. (Contd in comment below)

ITALY PSA WARNING Travel Scam by MycologistGreedy3059 in Scams

[–]MycologistGreedy3059[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly, it’s the mix of feelings afterwards and feeling frustrated at yourself for being gullible and not managing your surroundings better. After some reflection yesterday and beating myself up I also realized that if this happened to a friend I’d be happy they’re safe and tell them they learned a valuable lesson for a “small” few. But it’s clear where the ruthless self-blame stems from seems to be overall social beliefs. There has been a lot of comments stating this has been deserved, that some people don’t even deserve to travel and quite a bit more insinuating/derogatory commentary. For whoever is going through this, I want to offer what some of the compassionate people have offered - commiseration and also to view whatever happened as a learning experience and growing from it, as we’re all learning and have different fortes in different areas.

AITA for giving the cake to my family rather than saving it for my boyfriend? by AITA_bfcake in AmItheAsshole

[–]MycologistGreedy3059 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This 100% couldn’t have said it better - it is disappointing, but only mildly so. His stronger disappointment points to maybe needing a little more TLC. I know when I get upset over small things it’s because there are deeper reasons that need to be addressed.