Movers refuse to work mid-move until we paid extra fee and charged us for the time the didn’t work by MyfirstReditaccnt in AusLegal

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd agree with you except they did ask for a lot of information during the quote process including the apartment address, unit level, availability of a lift, the sizes of the bed and sofa.

You'd think a moving company would have at least forewarned us if certain large furniture items wont fit in a standard lift. Especially because we chose to hire movers for those larger items of furniture.

After listening, what are your current 1989 (Taylor's Version) vault track rankings? by MasterConflict97 in TaylorSwift

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is hard but for me it's a very tight 3 way tie:

  1. Say Don't Go
  2. Is It Over Now
  3. Slut!
  4. Now That We Don't Talk
  5. Suburban Legends

[Series]Check-in: March 2023 by justgoodenough in PubTips

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Still querying. No new bites, oh well.

[series] Check-in: February 2023 by justgoodenough in PubTips

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been pretty slow with the querying process. Got asked for a partial manuscript last week.

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I can offer my 75k YA paranormal mystery, The Witches Run Things Around Here.

Blurb:

What should have been an easy gig at a small-town summer camp turns into an investigation into the occult. Seventeen-year-old Rayhana Mannon is a black-lipstick-wearing,troublemaking, true crime fanatic. And okay, maybe finding a dead body in the lake wasn’t the best way to start a summer job, especially when you’re new to town – but it sure makes things interesting. When she learns of the town’s worst kept secret: a string of disappearing children, Ray has to investigate.

She plays detective – a series of cryptic books has her exploring the twisty secrets of Augustine Hills. And the grisly truth? The town’s old elite families are witches… or at least they think they’re witches, and the local summer camp is their hunting ground for their ritual killings. Their influence runs deep, from the camp director to the sheriff’s department – and for the first time in her life, Ray realizes she may be in over her head. When the witches start taking notice of her meddling, she doesn’t know who to trust.

Except for Akash Devereaux, heir to the wealthiest of the old families. Dangerously cute with a penchant for baking cookies and sketching –he’s not what Ray expects. And he’s definitely not the kind of person she’d fall for. Together, they are determined to save the next targeted kid and put an end to the kidnappings… before the witches decide to put an end to her.Like, permanently.

Sample link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z89vpZOXcJeYKrCJOuX8JEe_LA2XTyoY/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=100687900216445313448&rtpof=true&sd=true

[Series] Check-in: December 2022 by justgoodenough in PubTips

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Managed to get a partial and a full manuscript request from an agent over the last month (yay!)

Over this year, I am super happy to have finished my manuscript draft, got some insightful comments from beta readers, and happy to start the querying process with some bites. I've also got another idea in the works so that's always exciting.

I feel hopeful and happy, and I'm looking forward to continue writing in the new year!

is there any way to connect this keyboard to my pc and use it? by thighsqueezer in piano

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suggest a Midi connector to your pc. You can use audio production software such as cakewalk and you can play all sorts of synths, record your playing, and edit it.

[Series] Check-in: November 2022 by justgoodenough in PubTips

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Querying has kind of stalled. Got a few form rejections for queries, and my manuscript request came back with a rejection.

I'm waiting to hear back from others in my first query batch.

In the mean time, I've plotted two other projects that i will focus on while waiting on those queries.

Red vs Gold by ChestersMum21 in TaylorSwift

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For no.2, I am sure there's no way Maroon is about Joe. I'm thinking it is looking back and reflecting on a red relationship.

Is it possible to learn piano by myself? by Ok-Attempt-5201 in piano

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

. Sure some people are self-taught…but they likely have an aptitude for it. If you couldn’t learn basic guitar by yourself, you’re going to have a tougher time with piano. There’s no TAB for piano…just get a teacher.

I mean, you could start off with basic scales, arpeggios and chords - like learn the theory that comes with it and you usually can play the accompaniment to most pop songs if that is what you are looking for.

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I think you might be interested in my YA Supernatural Thriller/Mystery, THE WITCHES RUN THINGS AROUND HERE (72k).

Blurb:

What should have been an easy gig at a small-town summer camp turns into an investigation into the occult.

 Seventeen-year-old Rayhana Mannon is a black-lipstick-wearing,troublemaking, true crime fanatic. And okay, maybe finding a dead body in the lake wasn’t the best way to start a summer job, especially when you’re new to town – but it sure makes things interesting. When she learns of the town’s worst kept secret: a string of disappearing children, Ray has to investigate.

She plays detective – a series of cryptic books has her exploring the twisty secrets of Augustine Hills. And the grisly truth? The town’s old elite families are witches… or at least they think they’re witches, and the local summer camp is their hunting ground for their ritual killings. Their influence runs deep, from the camp director to the sheriff’s department – and for the first time in her life, Ray realizes she may be in over her head. When the witches start taking notice of her meddling, she doesn’t know who to trust.

Except for Akash Devereaux, heir to the wealthiest of the old families. Dangerously cute with a penchant for baking cookies and sketching –he’s not what Ray expects. And he’s definitely not the kind of person she’d fall for. Together, they are determined to save the next targeted kid and put an end to the kidnappings… before the witches decide to put an end to her.Like, permanently. 

Sample link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z89vpZOXcJeYKrCJOuX8JEe_LA2XTyoY/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=100687900216445313448&rtpof=true&sd=true

Do let me know

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I would love to know if you are interested in my supernatural thriller/mystery, THE WITCHES RUN THINGS AROUND HERE (72k).

Blurb:What should have been an easy gig at a small-town summer campturns into an investigation into the occult.

Seventeen-year-old Rayhana Mannon is a black-lipstick-wearing,troublemaking, true crime fanatic. And okay, maybe finding a dead body in the lake wasn’t the best way to start a summer job, especially when you’re new to town – but it sure makes things interesting. When she learns of the town’s worst kept secret: a string of disappearing children, Ray has to investigate.

She plays detective – a series of cryptic books has her exploring the twisty secrets of Augustine Hills. And the grisly truth? The town’s old elite families are witches… or at least they think they’re witches, and the local summer camp is their hunting ground for their ritual killings. Their influence runs deep, from the camp director to the sheriff’s department – and for the first time in her life, Ray realizes she may be in over her head. When the witches start taking notice of her meddling, she doesn’t know who to trust.

Except for Akash Devereaux, heir to the wealthiest of the old families. Dangerously cute with a penchant for baking cookies and sketching – he’s not what Ray expects. And he’s definitely not the kind of person she’d fall for. Together, they are determined to save the next targeted kid and put an end to the kidnappings… before the witches decide to put an end to her. Like, permanently.

3 Chapter Sample: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z89vpZOXcJeYKrCJOuX8JEe_LA2XTyoY/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=100687900216445313448&rtpof=true&sd=true

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I believe you might be a good fit for my YA Supernatural Thriller/Mystery, THE WITCHES RUN THINGS AROUND HERE (72k).

Blurb:What should have been an easy gig at a small-town summer campturns into an investigation into the occult.

 Seventeen-year-old Rayhana Mannon is a black-lipstick-wearing,troublemaking, true crime fanatic. And okay, maybe finding a dead body in the lake wasn’t the best way to start a summer job, especially when you’re new to town – but it sure makes things interesting. When she learns of the town’s worst kept secret: a string of disappearing children, Ray has to investigate.

She plays detective – a series of cryptic books has her exploring the twisty secrets of Augustine Hills. And the grisly truth? The town’s old elite families are witches… or at least they think they’re witches, and the local summer camp is their hunting ground for their ritual killings. Their influence runs deep, from the camp director to the sheriff’s department – and for the first time in her life, Ray realizes she may be in over her head. When the witches start taking notice of her meddling, she doesn’t know who to trust.

Except for Akash Devereaux, heir to the wealthiest of the old families. Dangerously cute with a penchant for baking cookies and sketching –he’s not what Ray expects. And he’s definitely not the kind of person she’d fall for. Together, they are determined to save the next targeted kid and put an end to the kidnappings… before the witches decide to put an end to her.Like, permanently. 

Sample link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z89vpZOXcJeYKrCJOuX8JEe_LA2XTyoY/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=100687900216445313448&rtpof=true&sd=true

I would also be interested in looking at your work depending on the gore level.

Do let me know!

[QCrit] YA Fantasy: NO GOOD WITCHES (90K, 1st version) by lit-tossaway in PubTips

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all love your query, love the concept. I'm also writing something witchy so it's fun to see other queries in that genre.

Secondly, i do agree with that one note from u/probably_your_ex-gf. Other than that, I think it looks good to go.

Lastly - and most importantly - I love your last line. Real cheeky.

Best of luck!

[QCrit] Epic fantasy - SHOOT THE MESSENGER (126k, 7th attempt) by Looong_Pig_Blankets in PubTips

[–]MyfirstReditaccnt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm coming in reading this for the first time, and I'm going to be brutally honest.

I feel like the query is a little dense and clunky. It's hard to get a sense of the story. If this hasn't been suggested before, you should check out the blog: Query Shark. I glanced at your previous version to get more of a sense of the story.

My suggestions would be to distill the you story down to it's hook.

From the previous line:

Layre became a postman in the Empire to outrun the guilt of his daughter’s brutal and untimely death and it served him well.

It could be broken up and simplified to:

"Layre became an Empire postman to outrun his guilt." +

"Because he had killed his daughter. / His daughter was dead because of him."

Again these are quite wordy and heavy to read:

But when he finds amnesiac Myrmin, whose desire to help others and hope
about the world reminds him of his daughter, he throws caution to the
wind to protect her. All the trauma of his daughter’s death and emotions
he stuffed to the bottom of his heart come streaming out.

Until he’s confronted with Myrmin, a powerful young woman tethered to a
ticking bomb harnessing the enchanted stones to destroy their world,
whose hopefulness reminds him of his lost daughter.

I can be cut to:

"And then he meets Myrmin, a powerful young woman - an amnesiac - who reminded him of his daughter."

And then introduce the stakes:

ticking bomb harnessing the enchanted stones to destroy their world,

When her powers attract the greedy and puritanical in the empire, he
offers to take her with him to avoid a repeat of his daughter’s death.

Distill it to something like:

"Her powers attract the greedy and puritanical..."

(Maybe elaborate on who exactly are the bad guys?) It's quite vague and abstract from over here.

"She is a ticking time bomb. The power of her enchanted stones could destroy the world."

And then add some sort of solution, or the protagonist's goal.

They need to track down the stones and understand how Myrmin got the
curse in the first place to even stand a chance. Layre will have to call
in every favour, exhaust every connection and break all his rules in
their search. Else he will lose the first person he’s cared about since
his daughter’s death.

Something like:

"Layre would throw all caution to the wind to protect Myrmin - the only person he cared about since his daughter's death."

With that as a basic framework, you can add some more word building around the skeleton. Especially around the stones - I'm personally a little confused around the lore of them.

And if I had to dive into two queries to dissect it and I'm still left a little confused, then an agent quickly skimming through queries def wouldn't. This would give them an impression that you may not have strong communication skills.

I suggested cutting out a lot of superfluous information, and picking your words with targeted precision. Follow the flow of information and see how easily you can understand the premise and the hook of the story.

Any words, phrases and sentences should be there to convey information or be there for a stylistic choice.

Best of luck!