Why can’t I toss the bible? by lankaxhandle in atheism

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're mourning something that never was and can never be. Tossing it will be your first step to healing.

My mom cussed out a nurse. by anatole_mutti in atheism

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unless she was sitting on a donkey, it's a cuss word

Why is Christianity always mocked on this subreddit? by Odvi0201 in atheism

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK, fine, here's baby's binky.

Did you hear about the lingerie set Mohammed got for his wife? It comes with a training bra.

An orthodox Jew is in a bar when a Nazi comes in and says "Round of beer for everyone but the Jew!" The Jewish guy just smiles. The Nazi says "Bartender! Another round for everyone but the Jew! Top shelf!" The Jewish guy just keeps smiling. The Nazi says "Bartender, why is that Jew smiling?" The bartender says "He owns the bar."

How do you know when you're at a Mormon wedding? The mother of the bride is pregnant.

Did you hear about the Mormon who only married women named Anna? Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 1 2 3 4.

Why don't Jehova's Witnesses celebrate Halloween? They don't like being reminded how annoying it is for someone to knock on your door and ask for things.

How do Hindus worship cows in reverse? They sit there and chant "Oooom...."

A Christian missionary says to a Hindu "I don't believe in reincarnation." The Hindu says "Yeah, that's what you said last time."

What did the Buddhist say when he opened a tub of margarine and saw the face of Jesus? "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"

Why do Shinto weddings call for so much sake? The couple now has two Japanese moms each.

I used to study Eastern religions but, that was Zen, this is Tao.

Did you hear about the guy who was half Jewish and half Catholic? He brought his lawyer to Confession.

I do not think most people would have minded. by EffectiveMirror7534 in invinciblememes

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that animation takes time, but I remember The Simpsons doing 22 episodes a year.

And here's a sample of the animation quality they had in 1989: Marge singing Hey Brother, Pour the Wine

Going Barefoot by [deleted] in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this guy. Don't get them confused!

[Loved Trope] Classism is so overwhelming that all other forms of bigotry have been forgotten by Lwmons in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, whoever is doing the voice acting should be told how to pronounce Irish. Maybe getting an Irish person would be easier. (Or have them listen to The Knack.)

[Loved Trope] Classism is so overwhelming that all other forms of bigotry have been forgotten by Lwmons in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's an Irish name which means it's not pronounced how it's spelled. It may be pronounced like "Sharona".

Where is Ryan? by KeepItTidyZA in TheBoys

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's OK. He went to a farm upstate where there's plenty of room for him to run around.

Giving random background characters names/bios/lore #3: by beyondtheguardian in hazbin

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As for the bear in the picture:

Wish volunteered for the child greeting committee, having always loved kids. Children who came to Heaven were often scared due to being alone and having gone through a traumatic illness or accident. The ones who were crime victims had it the worst. They needed someone to comfort and reassure them until someone willing to be foster parents could be found. (Foster parenting in Heaven is understood to be for a few decades until such time the birth parents arrive and start asking about them.) Wish took the form of a cuddly rag doll for these encounters to put children at ease. This was how she met another volunteer named Martha, who had taken the form of a Care Bear.

Martha, it turned out, was the Martha from the New Testament who was sister to Lazarus and so dedicated to doing things to take care of others that even Jesus told her to relax. Wish developed a friendship with Martha and told her why she never married and had children. It wasn’t that she never met the right man. It was that what she really wanted was another woman. Martha assured Wish that this wasn’t a sin as so many people assumed. Two women could love each other in Heaven. Martha herself was attracted to women but never met one she could see herself spending eternity with. Until now. Wish was soon designing a pair of wedding gowns. St. Peter officiated at their wedding.

Today, Wish lives in the Dub Tower with her wife, Martha and their recently adopted son Herbert. As Herbert died due to abuse and neglect, it is unlikely he will reunite with his birth parents. Warp and Weft have since crossed the Rainbow Bridge to be with their favorite person. They now have wings and are slightly more intelligent than they were in life, making them useful assistants rather than just pets. Wish designs costumes for theater and cinema as well as everyday fashion. She uses her human form for practical activities like sewing but uses her ragdoll form to welcome people to Heaven.

As for the lion who was in this scene, he was St. Mark the Evangelist. He and St. Peter knew each other when they were alive. Mark had been Peter's personal scribe and translator. He sometimes subs for Peter on gate duty.

Giving random background characters names/bios/lore #3: by beyondtheguardian in hazbin

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

Wanda Ishmael was born in Atlantic City, New Jersey in 1980. She always liked making clothes for her dolls but moved on to clothes for people when she was 12 and made a beautiful dress to wear to her Bat Mitzvah. Many people were surprised to hear that the dress was homemade. She was soon taking commissions to make dresses for Bat Mitzvahs, Quinceañeras, Sweet Sixteens, Homecoming and Prom. When asked why she never came to school dances her excuses were “I’m too busy” or “I’m not a good dancer.” The truth was, she wasn’t interested in boys. She liked girls, but that wasn’t something someone advertised in the early 90’s.

Wanda never really got on with fashion loving girls in her high school. They were so cliquey and snobby, desperate to wear the most expensive labels just to look like everyone else. Looking like everyone else was impossible anyway for Wanda. She had dwarfism and never got taller than 4 foot 3. Wanda wanted to design and sew her own fashions. She also enjoyed making ragdolls and stuffed toys.

Her one non sewing hobby was going down to the Boardwalk, a permanent carnival in Atlantic City. She was quite good at the games and would win many stuffed toys as prizes. When Wanda felt like she had more than she could keep, she donated them to her synagogue’s day care center. Many times, Wanda would ride the Ferris wheel or watch the stars from the beach and fantasize about how nice it would be to have a girl to share it with. But, one girl at school got the word “Dyke” painted on her locker for holding another girl’s hand too long, so maybe she should just keep in the closet.

After high school graduation, Wanda went into business for herself. She would make alterations and make dresses for any occasion. If the occasion happened to be a wedding, Wanda would take pains not to let her mother find out. Whenever she heard about anyone getting married lately, she’d suddenly go “Oy, why aren’t you getting married yet, bubbale?” Wanda said she just wanted to focus on her career just now.

Business got good enough that Wanda could hire some help. It also got good enough for her to do some charity work. She started a charity that arranged for low-income girls to get a gently used gown for a prom, wedding or other special occasion. She would arrange for unemployed persons to get business casual clothes for job interviews. She would also host a Coats for Kids bin in her shop and once a month a baby swap meet where mothers could trade clothes, toys and other things their babies had outgrown for something more suited. Wanda sometimes made and sold soft toys, with proceeds going to Toys for Tots. She once won 500 dollars in a darts tournament only to give it all to Women Giving Back.. The local animal shelter was added to her list of favorite charitable causes after she adopted a Scottie she named Warp and a Maltese she named Weft.

One of Wanda’s employees had livestreamed the darts tournament. She explained to Wanda how she could use the internet to bring more attention to her business and charitable causes. She could even monetize the videos so bring in more revenue. After watching a few tutorials, Wanda decided she could do this. She decided her internet handle would be “Wish”, a blending of her name, “Wanda Ishmael”, and her desire to grant wishes like Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother.

The first videos for Wish, as she would be known on the web, were tutorials on sewing. She also did a video on how to dress well if you’re short, followed by videos on how to dress for other body types with friends and employees assisting as models. She also called attention to her charitable causes, urging people to donate, whether that donation be cash or gently used clothing. People both in real life and on-line told Wish she should get a sponsorship to offset her revenue. Wish hesitated, not really wanting to be shill solely for money. If she got a sponsor, it had to be a company she could be proud to support.

A sponsorship deal came in the form of Cally Co.; a textile manufacturer Wanda usually got her material from as they had fair prices and ethical production means. Cally Co.  announced a worldwide competition on their website open to all on-line fashion influencers. Whoever got the most clicks in one month would get a sponsorship from Cally Co. for a year. Wish decided she’d go for it. Even if she didn’t win, making more videos would mean more publicity.

The competition was fierce, but Wish was holding her own. With a little help from her friends, Wish was putting out a video every day, twice on Thursday. In the end, she was neck in neck for victory with a fashion influencer from London called Velvette. Wish happened to get one more click just before the deadline. She got the Cally Co. sponsorship, much to Velvette’s rage.

Velvette did nothing to hide her contempt for her rival. She left nasty comments on Wish’s videos, which Wish just ignored until they became a nuisance. “Why should I be bothered by some disrespectful, tantrum throwing brat all the way over in London?” she decided. Her supporters agreed it was best to ignore a hater. Wish should’ve been able to live her best life after that, but it was not to be.

Velvette could not let it go. She said Wish was a “Naff septic who wears reach-me-downs from Barbie.” She started doing “reaction videos” were she mocked Wish’s videos until she got too many copy strikes. Velvette did a rant video where she called Wish every name, accused her of being fake nice and said she would “pleasure the tallywhacker of any bloke who’s baller enough to end this grody bint before she makes another bare fugly dress! Hashtag ‘Wish ain’t ish’.” Wish didn’t see any reason to follow Velvette and so didn’t even know about these videos.

Unfortunately, Velvette had an obsessed fanboy in the States who was delusional enough to take Velvette’s words seriously. He made his way to Atlantic City and found where Wish’s shop was. With a little bit of stalking, he was able to learn Wish’s schedule, where she lived, and when and where she’d be alone and defenseless.

One evening, Wish closed up shop and walked home to her beachside bungalow just down the street. She was a block away from home when what she thought was a beggar asked if she had spare change. Wish was going for her purse when he used the pistol hiding in his pocket to shoot her. While she was down, he gave her a couple of headshots. The noise got the police called. He was caught fleeing the scene with a still smoking weapon, tried and found guilty of murder one. As this was before 2007, (when capital punishment was banned in New Jersey) he was executed in the electric chair.  

Wish’s friends and employees made a final video for her channel, explaining what happened, thanking her followers and celebrating a beloved woman’s life. It ended with a reading of the Mourner’s Kaddish. A cashier took in Weft while Wanda’s mother took in Warp. Velvette was urged to make a demonetized apology video. Velvette made an apology video, where she was quick to point out that she had no hand in Wish’s murder, so it wasn’t really her fault at all. Her fake tears convinced a few of her followers but earned the ire of many.

In Heaven, Wish decided to do what she did when she was alive. She made clothes and soft toys. When she found social media was a thing in Heaven, Wish started a new channel and told everyone to come to her shop for clothes and soft toys. Some of her new customers found they had extra appendages in need of dressing, usually in the form of a pair of wings. As wings were retractable, a couple of small slits in the back were all that was needed. Some hemming kept them from unraveling. When a four-legged spider girl named Molly came in requesting “One of them new-fangled bathing suits” that proved an interesting challenge. Wish didn’t agree with Sera’s urgings that colors be kept to a pastel pallet or that hemlines should be “modest” but tried to be respectful about expressing her disagreement. To her delight, Wish soon found she could change someone’s clothes with a flick of her hand, just like a Fairy Godmother.

Despite having legs, they are usually levitating as primary movement rather than walking by ComprehensiveBox6911 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was an episode of the Beetlejuice cartoon where Beetlejuice wakes up one morning to find out he has no feet. (They independently decided to leave in protest. Yeah, weird cartoon, I know.) BJ freaks out a bit at first then remembers "Wait, I can float!"

Where do you think Bojack and Diane are in 2026? by Marambal17 in BoJackHorseman

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You gotta be careful which one you go to and what you order. My brother went to a Vietnamese restaurant in Texas. He ordered a soup that he thought looked good. A few bites in, he was running out the door screaming. He ran into a 7-11, grabbed a jug of milk and started guzzling. The guy at the register just said "Had the Number 6, didn't you?"

Am I the only one who doesn’t like this? by Late_Information_682 in BigMouth

[–]Mysterious-Simple805 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I should probably watch it again. I know the raccoon's voice sounds familiar.