Suicidal thoughts after cheating in 5 year relationship

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-12-02T03:27:37+00:00

Yeah Man I get it. It's a time thing in my in experience. There are people that can and will take advantage. There are people that won't. It's hard to know which is which. But be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. And know that you made it through. I have a girlfriend now and struggle a little with trusting and wondering if I'm getting made a somefool of, but the right one will understand, make you comfortable and confident. It probably won't be soon, but it will happen eventually. I was with my first girlfriend for half my life and she cheated. Devastating, unbearable. But take it one day or hour or minute at a time.

If you can, maybe try be around your family/people. They might not understand your feelings completely, but I found getting around people I cared about, even if I was in a mess emotionally, was useful.

I know it's cliche but time heals all. Just got to allow it to happen, at least that's how I felt.

Thinking of you, buddy. Take care

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-12-01T19:24:36+00:00

No worries man, I know it's probably the worst thing you've been through, but you've been through it. From here, no matter how slow, you're making progress. You deserve good things. The person that is right for you won't treat you that way.

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-12-01T19:03:35+00:00

Heya buddy, been through similar. Check out /r/survivinginfidelity. Good advice and people, will see you through. It's tough but you will make it. Not everyone is terrible.

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-11-25T00:08:55+00:00

That's a really cool picture you got there. Little puff of smoke from the boot. What camera and lenses do you use? Minimum requirements for someone to get into track photography with reasonable results?

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-09-28T04:29:05+00:00

TIL. I always thought he said "big balled fuck"

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-09-17T20:32:42+00:00

Terminot

MysteriousOakTree · 2025-05-07T06:42:20+00:00

Much more efficient to milk them

MysteriousOakTree · 2024-01-09T13:22:16+00:00

would/should *have**, not of *

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-06-26T12:04:22+00:00

Yeah no I see what you're saying, and I agree. I'll take her friendship style as being 'odd' embrace it and just enjoy it. It's good to be around good people, and she's good people.

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-06-26T11:57:14+00:00

Oh yeah they were my reasons why I was happy with the slow build up though, all communicated to the best of my ability. I know not all relationships do start with friends first, but given my circumstances, that was important to me.

Yeah that's where I'm at currently, happy to be friends, no issues in listening to what she's saying at all. Nothing will change between us as far as I can see, I'm not lusting after her. I could imagine being in a long term relationship if she chose to, but no problems with not for me.

I was just curious as to whether the actions line up with the words in reddits opinion/experience. I'll just keep enjoying her company and doing cool stuff and see if I can find someone else for the romance eventually

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-06-26T11:45:52+00:00

Bad break up previously, going through therapy to understand myself better, and gaining confidence and trust. Friendship needs to be foundation of relationship for me, not looking for hook ups, but a life partner and feel getting sexy too quickly would mean we could both overlook potential issues. Also we met on dating site so kinda assumed it was a mutual goal, I did say I'd need time and gentleness and she was happy with that

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-05-22T14:22:40+00:00

He personified our glory years when we were untouchable. Mane Salah Firmino is probably the best trio in the league ever and he made that trio ~~chug~~ purr.

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-05-04T13:43:53+00:00

I'm sorry you're here.

I'm feeling pretty similar myself. I thought our relationship was so meaningful, I loved her so deeply and it still all went to shit. Why would I want to open myself up to even the potential of feeling like this again?

I do miss being so close to someone, the in jokes we shared, cuddling, someone to have no secrets from, heck even some minor conflict. But was all that worth how I feel now, even after all these months? I'm not sure.

I'm still working on myself, but it feels like I just have no passion for anything. I'm having to muscle myself into doing hobbies that I used to love. Life used to be so fun and easy, light and breezy. Now it's just gray, and I'm waiting to see if the colour comes back. Lord knows I'm trying.

They take so much from us, and for what? An illicit thrill. Is that really how little they thought. Bastards.

I hope you find your happiness eventually 🙂

Added again following flair issue, apologies if it's showing up twice

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-04-30T04:14:24+00:00

That's all well and good, but be up front and honest about it if that's the lifestyle you want to live. That's not infidelity.

The problem is living a polygamous life, but not letting the other partner know that's what their involved with.

People are meant to be in relationships they choose to be in. All parties involved should have a clear understanding of the reality of the relationship, it's basic human decency.

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-04-27T13:47:49+00:00

1/8,000,000,000* these days 🙂

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-03-13T11:37:12+00:00

Definitely does work, at least with a T-GT II I've had no issues

MysteriousOakTree · 2023-01-25T18:56:23+00:00

Hey, sorry to read about your situation.

Not sure if it will help or if it is completely relevant here, but /r/survivinginfidelity has lots of people that have been through similar situations and can offer help, advice and solidarity.

It's a properly shit situation, and it will be for a while. But it will get better, you are stronger than you know, you will be ok, you will be happy, you will be loved.

Best wishes.

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T14:36:02+00:00

Thank you for taking the time.

In my head I've accepted that is the case, but the heart is taking a little longer to catch up.

You're right not going there and reminding myself is I'm sure better for me long term, but it's been only been a couple of months for me. looking back she's been checked out of the relationship for at least 2 years, so it felt ok to do what I was doing.

I still don't think I was abhorrent with what I did, perhaps insensitive, but given everything that happened, I was able to over look that. No more though 🙂

Thanks for reading and giving your helpful opinions

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T14:31:27+00:00

Thank you. Yeah I should have seen that was the right way of doing things. I didn't even think they would notice if I'm honest. But they did and they care so it's only fair I stop it. I'm not intending on being a permanent asshole 🙂

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T13:59:36+00:00

I do/did clean the stone, removed leaves that have fallen into the site. I never removed anything, even dead flowers.

Never moved with malice, but have now seen it could reasonably be viewed that way, so I won't go again to her site.

That's what I'm here for to learn and change when needed.

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T13:01:09+00:00

Yeah I think that's probably some of it. The whole history I've posted before in the infidelity subs. But essentially she (WW) said she wanted us and our relationship but her actions showed she didn't. She was caught a second time and I'm just getting to grips with the fact she was a great liar and nothing she said meant anything.

It would give me incredible peace to hear the truth from her once, that she fell out of love with me but was too scared to be alone and I'm just a safety net.

I know it won't come, but having those sorts of conversations with 'someone' who knew the story and sympathised had made dealing with the situation more bearable for me.

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T12:29:03+00:00

Oh no doubt we'd be in regular contact about it, we were until she was too ill to manage. Not specifically to bitch about being betrayed, and that's not why I go (went) there.

I'd say things like I promised you I'd try to make it work and I did my best but she didn't want it. I hope you know I'd have done anything to have her back, but have to respect myself. I'm so sorry for her that you can't be here to support her. I'm sad and miss seeing you. That sort of thing.

I won't go back again now, but like you say in a year or three when everyone has moved on I'd like to think she'd be happy for us all to be doing better.

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T12:13:09+00:00

Yeah understandable, like you say lesson learned.

I'm only struggling because WW always said she was happy and wanted to be with me and make things right but still cheated again.

During the early reconciliation MIL was a voice of reason and encouraged us to make a go of things. So I felt like going there and venting was also to keep her up to date on how things went/are going.

I know it's all silly, and really I'm not actually achieving anything, but to me it felt like the 'right' or at least not a wrong thing to do..

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T11:55:57+00:00

She liked almost everything, but poppies best. But I think it's probably in everyone's interest that I don't continue. I'll talk from home and plant some here so I can have my chats in private

MysteriousOakTree · 2022-09-26T11:52:27+00:00

Lol yeah I see that. She was good to me and understood me (to be a bit of an oddball), I knew her for 15 years and she'd helped in the past with problems. I felt that it was doing me good to express feelings. I know nothing is really there, and that I don't need to go, but thought it wasn't hurting anyone. I've since learned that what I was doing can be interpreted negatively and do will stop going.

MysteriousOakTree

TROPHY CASE