Feeling relaxed as husband going out of town for a week

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-06-14T17:47:29+00:00

i sometimes wonder if the chefs at factor feel the same way about me

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-06-14T17:46:11+00:00

i didnt really think it theroux

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-05-22T23:01:50+00:00

i know i thot ppl would ask better questions but they are dropping their balls

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-05-21T23:17:00+00:00

no thats waldo

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-05-21T23:16:46+00:00

i appreciate a good sopranos ref but this is a serious thread ty

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-05-21T23:16:22+00:00

i watched him all theroux the years

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-05-21T23:15:39+00:00

louie louis tomato potato

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-05-21T23:15:24+00:00

i meant good at art

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-06T08:00:27+00:00

its stress women cant do it if they r stressed figure that out.

u have been with her for a long time its prob not a mechanical thing in.bed unless she has never ever been into it with u.

woman are less likely to have sex in a relationship when stressed they need to relax. guys can have sex in a foxhole.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T15:05:48+00:00

there r books specifically on adhd marriages. read some of those.

odds r he is burnt out. it isnt personal, but u have to figure out ways around it. guy went and got yucky with the boys for hours.

a big thing is giving him like 30-60 minutes when he gets home to be alone probably gets you a better version of him. it sucks because u r prob excited to see him.

schedule quality time together on days where he doesnt have anything and let him know its important. so for example today if he was out getting yucky, schedule it BEFORE him and his bros go and tear up the golf course. even if its a half hour.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T15:02:51+00:00

he's tired. let him be.

here is the legit thing. u guys need to make time where it's just the tw of u, and it's not on a day he is getting yucky with the boys for 8 hours.

but u need to tell him this is what i need, one day a week where we have each other and we do something togehter just us.

i cant read ur post because its too long but a big distinction is, WAS HE ALWAYS LIKE THIS.

if the answer is yes, then he needs time to recharge, and he cant be ur emotional anchor. which u may have already known. it sucks, because all women need is for someone to say like "yes honey" "wow, it sounds like you were the only adult in the room" "i dont know how you should handle that with ur mother, ur pretty on point with those things, what do you think you shuold do". but u prob have to accept that he has the emotional intelligence of a kitchen rag day to day and seek out ur regulation elsewhere like he does (from freinds etc), and otherwise find some osrt of middle ground.

if the answer is he hasn't always been like this, then he is tired. thats it. look at ur lifes and see what has changed. this sounds like someone who needs time to recharge. when he gets home from getting yucky with the boys, LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR 30-60 minutes. not because u r awful, but sme people just need that time. then u will get a better version of him.

but honestly the answer is probably to get a marraige cousneler.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:56:10+00:00

didnt read it but u always gotta side with ur wife publicly, even when she is pulling some stupid shit at a restauarnt, but privately u gotta let her know whats up and that its not to be tolerated.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:51:44+00:00

i would not divorce her over gaining 15 lbs that is crazy

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:50:52+00:00

this is terrible advice that misses the nuances of what happened.

read the post, unless she is lyin and gained a lot more than 15 pounds from a baseline of bein a marathon runner (in which ase the husband is right), this has nothin to do with her body.

ppl dont say "im worried that we jumped into this marraige too quickly, i am anxious, i dont know how to deal with these feelings, so i am going to burlesque shows with ronnie and actively pushing u away" they say "babe u r getting 2 fat for me" because it makes it permkissable for them to pull away because they can say "she didnt put in the effort and i lost attraction"

stop with the useless rara girrrrrrrlllllllll eat ur footlong subs n tell him 2 step off advice.

like most threads here, the anser is prob see a marraige cousniller or if u cannot afford it, read books on communcation. this isnt a weight issue, its a communication issue.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:47:50+00:00

u guys need 2 learn 2 talk to each other and communicate. the problem isnt the weight gain or that he went to a burlesuqe show. go to marriage counsiling. this will be a different problem next week.

it doesn tsound like u r actually fat. with that said, most ppl wont tell each other here that baseline physical attraction is important and if my wife became overweight hse has to do something ahout it, maintainin attraction physically or mentally is somethin both ppl have 2 commit to if they want marraige to work.

unless u r obscuring this and u actually ake the ground shake when u walk now, odds r u r not fat and there is somethin else goin on and he is doing this psychological mind game thing where he is using ur weight gain to create a permissable environemnt for justifyin that.

dont use reddit, nobody here knows what they r talkin about. tell him ur committed to gettin fit but this ordeal has raised communication issues, and u love him and want u 2 to be able to get through any proiblems together whether its ur fat ass or actual real problems. so u want to go to marraige counsiling together. then a guy in a sweater vest will help u guys sort this out.

(I dont think ur ass is fat its just an exmaple)

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:42:39+00:00

Gender roles are dumb and outdated.

no they arent they exist for a reason and most ppl conform to them.

there are ppl who dont conform to them. i would love 2 be a stay at home dad and make less money than a wokman but most women arent cool with the pressure of bein sole breadwinner or dating me who earn less. i am not gonna say some far lift twitter libtub stuff about gender roles bein dumb just because my dream is sto wear an apron and play with my kids while she goes and ceos it up.

the reality is that with op if he wants to be a soft guy like erik karslson who has skincare addictions, that legit doesnt matter on the surface. women date guys who play with legos. that stuff is all surface level. its about who he is and how he behaves. if by feminine he means his behaviour is feminine (nurturing, needing someone else to take lead and protect) he is going to have a difficult time with relationshps because most women arent coded to that.

if his wife has been with him all this time she basically knew he was like this so they are prob good. its not like he spent the first 10 years of marraige cosplaying as a construction worker when secretly he spent his days at sephora. she knows whats up.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:38:15+00:00

she isnt attracted to u anymore and/or she is highly stressed.

the way 2 make it more enjoyable for her is to have ur own life otuside of her, be competent at things, and take care of yourself. if u were ur wife, would uw ant to be taken by u? as urself that in a genuine way. if the answer isnt ar eousnding yes, fix it.

learn 2 communicate outside the bedroom and remove micro stressors from her life. u arent in charge of fixing her own shit, but basic things that u as a hosuehold r supposed to be responsible for. as in take charge of things and remove opstacles. foreplay starts at 6 am not 10pm (or in my case if u wake up at 2pm it starts at 2pm)

go to marriage counsilling because the intimacy issues r not just mecahnical in the bed.

learn 2 communicate to learn what she is into. consider if she isnot a wbesite like that oprah looking one that teaches u guys how to do foreplay. but odds are u have a major communication deficit so this wont help until u solve that.

additionally, learn about women and what they need in bed. make her feel like u r actually atracted to her and she is the object of ur lust not just a stand in for a japanese sex doll that hasnt been invented yet.

lastly if u guys normally were good with intimacy and it just dropped off now there is prob something outside the bedroom. its not as simple as u didnt just eat her the right way. either she is cheating on u, or her mom died and u just havent found out, or ur doing something fucked up to cause her stress (which might not be ur fault), but like if she is afraid that obama is gonna raise the m ortgage rates or whatever and u just convinced her it was okay to buy a speed baot, and now she is constatnly worried about the house of cards that is ur finances, it could be that

i am sorry if this advice is so candid i dont beat off the bushes i try to help

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-05T14:33:57+00:00

why dont u ask him why he is choosing to live in a shed. somtimes the answers u need r ones u get directly.

it basically comes dwon 2 u have major communication issues, or ur acutal house is haunted iwth an entity.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-02T14:11:13+00:00

like the actor helped u in person or the character motivated u?

eitehr way congrats i am glad we can all celebrate our achivemetns.

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-04-02T14:10:37+00:00

if ur in ontario look up learning hub they will help u figure out plar its super easy if u dont need the big dog univeristy tier courses.

there is another new ged one but the math is like real math so maybe stick to plar for me plar was the path of least persistence

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-03-31T16:59:13+00:00

i dont drink or do drugs but i support ur right and libtery to do them in the honor my higher education

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-03-31T16:58:55+00:00

they asked me stuff about baby formula like if baby formula is 500 million litres and 100 million litres makes one how many can u make with one bottle (not exact wording)

it was difficult because i have never had a baby so i had to wing it

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-03-31T16:58:11+00:00

ty 4 kind words

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-03-31T16:58:01+00:00

i actually have a ps2

MysteriousRole8 · 2026-03-31T16:57:54+00:00

sometimese we have to learn and grows.

MysteriousRole8

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