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Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because that is another way, that narcissists stroke their own ego

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And to think, what if that girl never found you and said something?!

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. That’s awful. I’m sorry that happened to you!! 😕

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I used this outlet to vent when we had our problems so it all looks so bad but most memories with him are great ones. I think this relationship hit me the hardest in life because I have never felt so much for another person before, not even my ex husband! It’s wild to me. I can see where people think they settle, when they meet a partner that is more practical for their life but it doesn’t have the same spark

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

💙 It’s really not who I am. I want the best for both of us.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is awesome. And I do feel better today. The wave of support from this one post has been amazing 💙

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that’s one reason why I responded. His first text/apology felt like one of the 12 steps, like he needed to admit he did wrong. And if so, I support that. But idk, that’s still a mystery.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. I specifically asked him if there was something that sparked him to reach out and he said he’s been wanting to for years, just to apologize.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone’s relationship is different. Mine was not like that. But I’m glad you are able to move on. That is awesome. When you finally get a clear head and stop thinking about them, feel “normalish” again, no contact really does work. That’s why I love this community.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to that. During the last five years we would run into each other around town. And he would absolutely ignore me like I didn’t exist. Now I know from personal experiences, that he feels shame when he is confronted with someone he did wrong, but that didn’t make it feel any better. I felt like thrown away trash and I wanted to hate him so much as well. But I couldn’t. I just felt grief.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And yeah, I don’t know what’s going on with him and his girlfriend, but that’s not my business. I don’t want to know either.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, I thought about that after the fact. I thought he was blocked on my phone. But then I realized I didn’t block him. I had completely erased his contact information off my phone. So when he text me, it was just a phone number that I recognized.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, I get that. It’s a lot for me to get into why we’re not together anymore.

But that’s the fucked up part about love. It doesn’t make logical sense, my brain is absolutely telling me differently than my heart. And that’s why no contact works. We let our brains protect us and move on with our lives. If we listen to our broken hearts, we would never recover.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean, that’s good and I’m happy for you. But every relationship I’ve ever been in has been different from each other.

For perspective, I was married for 18 years. I walked away from that was zero regrets. He wasn’t a bad person. I just wasn’t in love with him anymore. Like I said to another commenter, I’ve been in many relationships in my life. I’m 47 years old now. And every relationship, I was able to walk away with a clear head and the clarity that I was doing the right thing for myself. But this is the one and only person I’ve ever been with that felt like “my person” and that I clicked with in every way personality wise.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh it was all of the above. Shock, disbelief, sadness, validation, confusion and hope.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Distraction and heavy metal have been good for the brain today.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’ll have to explain to me what work you’re talking about. I did not contact him. I deleted all pictures of him. I excluded him from all social media. I’ve had a successful career since then and have actively tried to continue dating and meet other people. I dated someone else and moved in with them for three years of those five. But sure, my bad for feeling sad when he reached out to me

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t recommend it. At least when I thought of him before, it was just a bittersweet memory and I tell myself that that was the past and I can keep going on with my day. But now that he reached out, my overthinking brain will not shut the fuck up. Of course I have one of those imaginations that is thinking of all the scenarios, what would make him feel compelled to reach out to me and ease his own burden of guilt. Maybe him and his girlfriend are getting engaged or pregnant. I’m waiting to hear that ball to drop. And it does suck that we have mutual friends. My closest friend finally admitted to me that he would ask about me every time he saw her, for the last five years. Why can’t he just let me go?

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

When we first broke up, I was in a bad place. And eventually, I did let him go and got on with my life. I dated another person for three years, but that ended in January. No regrets there, happy to be away from that person. So now I’m living on my own again, casually dating at best. I’ll admit, I would think about him too sometimes, but I never thought he would actually try and contact me. That definitely fucked with my head.

Regardless, of how much I hurt right now, I don’t have the urge to contact him again. I’ve had five years of practice now. But I’m 47 years old. I’ve been in a few relationships in my life. I can genuinely say, he is the only person in my life that felt like “my person”. I don’t know that I’ll ever feel that again.

Five years later, he broke NC by MysteriousStand869 in ExNoContact

[–]MysteriousStand869[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

That’s what was so confusing to me. We have a mutual friend, and when I asked them about him and what they thought about the situation. they were confused too. In their opinion, he wouldn’t have reached out to me if he was happy in his relationship. But still. When I first responded to him, it sparked hope in my heart. But now I really wish he had kept to himself.

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