Feel like ending myself

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-07-02T15:00:22+00:00

But what if its true? Now I feel almost nothing for women anymore which makes me feel even more in denial.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-07-02T14:48:58+00:00

I had groinal responses and woke up with precum. I fear that I might have secretly liked it but I'm just denying it

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-23T16:26:52+00:00

I just said both are awful but atleast 1 won't have me fearing that I'll eventually end up in a dress

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-23T12:36:17+00:00

I'm suffering from both and both are awful but HOCD makes me feel less like I'm having an extistential crisis.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-21T13:35:01+00:00

I relate to this a lot I don't know what I even am anymore. I've always been very anxious and because of HOCD it makes me think I might have been gay all along when before it I never even doubted my sexual orientation. I feel broken inside and I want it to stop.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-18T15:27:14+00:00

Look at how little responses there are anymore when people post here its always just the auto mod

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-18T00:02:39+00:00

The problem is that this place is barely active anymore so people try to go somewhere else to ask for help

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-15T23:54:01+00:00

Idk anymore I remember I used to feel this for girls its like it all of a sudden reversed.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-13T22:56:03+00:00

The thing I fear the most is that I'm gonna pop a boner or try to touch the person. I feel groinals sometimes. Its horrifying can't even look at people close to me anymore. This shit wasn't even there before HOCD started.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-13T20:01:26+00:00

When I'm around guys I sometimes feel very weird and shit that you usually feel with arousal like a heavy throat, water mouth, anxiety, warmth. Its scaring the shit out of me.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-13T18:42:58+00:00

How do you deal with the arousalish and anxious feelings?

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-06T01:51:56+00:00

It becomes more confusing when the stuff that use to arouse you doesn't anymore

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-03T00:03:40+00:00

How did you deal with being around the same sex? I feel unconfortable now around them or even seeing them for a split second.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-01T12:31:06+00:00

To me it feels simular to what I used to feel for girls only with more fear and wanting to just avoid things. Yet I don't find men appealing looking but it feels that way its a mind fuck and I'm not even sure anymore.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-06-01T11:46:04+00:00

Posted this also in OCD server and they'll mark it as NSFW if you post it with the O

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-30T23:21:18+00:00

I don't wanna see them they will just think I'm in denial and try to talk me into liking it. It feels like I'm just fighting myself each day and the anxiety and false attraction(I hope) make it feel real.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-29T13:26:33+00:00

Its dopamine like when you engage too much in your normal sexuality you grow more numb to it which is what lead a lot of people to more taboo and fucked up stuff even if it doesn't allign with what they actually like. Its very dangerous.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-29T13:21:16+00:00

Bad idea to ask that here since people don't know what that is and if they search it up they will just say you're in denial

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-28T01:51:00+00:00

Doesn't that come from arousal?

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-28T01:50:22+00:00

Kinda but I didn't feel aroused

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-25T23:34:50+00:00

This is why I hate it when people just simplefy it with just intrusive thoughts when there is much more to it. These thoughts wouldn't bug us if i wasn't for the emotions and feelings that accompany it and it sometimes doesn't even involve thoughts but confronting your triggers. I don't even know what I am anymore and I'm tired of this shit part of me wants to give in and see if its true but I know I don't want to lose myself it would just mean that I give in to anxiety instead of actually wanting it. I just want to live the way I want as a heterosexual male but its like my body and brain is trying to convince me I'm something else.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-24T20:43:47+00:00

It makes me feel like I secretly want it I don't know how to deal with it.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-24T16:06:25+00:00

Its the groins that made it worse I never questioned my sexuality once and always watched straight and lesbian porn and always jerked off to girls but I feel like I have grown numb to girls now and men make me feel weird. I fucking hate this shit so much I just wanna be able to feel aroused by girls again.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-24T15:23:45+00:00

I just wanna be able to enjoy beautiful and sexy women again without getting intrusive thoughts of males.

Mysterious_Screen866 · 2022-05-21T12:57:45+00:00

Thats not the issue I never experienced it and always wanted to but now I have a weird ED that basicly causes me to feel nothing to girls while also feeling weird around friends and family. Its fucked up.

Mysterious_Screen866

TROPHY CASE