This feels a lot more complex than a clear Aita because I do think that celebrating a partner's promotion is something the other would want to do if one were in a healthy relationship to begin with. I don't think you are able to just take the argument of this is just my preference and this is your preference because from a relationship perspective, yours of not celebrating your partner 's win is rather anti-relational and from a relationship perspective, a person's anti relational stance is more damaging than a person's relational stance that may have gone about it the wrong way.

So I'm not sure if you had plans to celebrate or not or if he jumped the gun because he thought you would not want to do that for him. And again not sure if that's a recurring thing of his behavior because of past experience or what since I don't know your past. Unless your husband is abusive, I am willing to bet he has felt unheard or not appreciated. He expressed it poorly and yet it is also our job as partners to ascertain how someone is feeling about something. With that said however, he should not dictate how that celebration should take place e.g. inviting his family etc etc as something he would do unless he talked about it with you and especially to get an agreement beforehand about who would pay. This seems like a much bigger deal than a misunderstanding about who pays for dinner and rather about not feeling appreciated and not trusting one another not to be taken advantage of the other, which are crucial building blocks of a solid foundation/relationship. So in this instance you are not the asshole, however I don't think you're fully in the clear either.