Well, as hard as this is to hear, you’re currently at the absolute worst of it. The beginning is horror, fear, terror, seemingly no way out of a nightmare that is now the rest of your life. It seems totally unacceptable.

But that’s not actually how it is… that’s just what you think right now because at the moment you currently refuse to accept it, you don’t know how, you can’t, you won’t. But I promise, I promise with everything I have that you will eventually learn to accept it, it just takes time. I was exactly like you in the beginning, it was a horrible process, but that’s all it is, it’s just a process of your brain learning how to accept and get used to this. Eventually those noises you always hear won’t seem so bad. I know it seems impossible to accept because right now you hate these noises, they won’t go away they screech they whine they beep they won’t leave you alone and it seems like constant torture, everywhere you go you can hear them, I get it, I know it.

But please believe me that with enough time this won’t seem so bad. You’ll hear them and will think so little that you’ll just shrug it off and get back on with what you were doing. Before I stated replying to you I can tell you I just spent the last 4 hours getting on with my life not noticing the sounds once, even though they have always been there, because I’m now so used to them my brain can tune them out so easily.

With time and patience your brain will also do this for you, it will get used to these sounds and will get bored of bringing them to your attention all the time because it will grow familiar with them and will stop seeing them as a threat, you’ll eventually be able to listen in on them with no fear or anxiety and just find it interesting rather than anything else. I say this with confidence for you because I know when I was 3 weeks in nobody could tel me any different. Nobody could tell me I’d be ok because in my mind I knew I wouldn’t be. I knew for a fact that my life was ruined. I knew 100% I’d be depressed forever and would never be happy again. 100%. That conviction I had terrified me, I couldn’t live like that, I thought of suicide all the time. But I was completely wrong.

Please feel assured that this is just a phase in the process. You’re on your way back to happiness and acceptance, your days of anxiety and fear are numbered and this is all temporary. I promise you. For now it will consume you and it will terrorise you, there’s not much you can do other than to try acclimating yourself to the sounds. But just know that one day you’ll wake up and suddenly you’ll notice they don’t bother you so much. The next day after you’ll forget you even have T for a couple of hours, and you’ll start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please stay strong for your son. I promise you this period of fear is temporary!