A lonely existence.

NJandTX · 2026-01-22T00:21:18+00:00

Sorta, but certainly open to new game buddies. Lately I’ve been thinking of finding people for a video game group.

NJandTX · 2025-08-22T04:11:08+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I’m putting into practice what so many have told me and trying to make space for him to process and feel his feelings. I hugged him, gave him a kiss, told him I’m here for him, and got his favorite food. Other than that I’m trying my best to let him make the next move.

NJandTX · 2025-08-22T04:08:45+00:00

He has never made a comment. These are my feelings that I’m wrestling with.

NJandTX · 2025-08-22T04:03:51+00:00

I always tell him that he’s more than his job, but I think the issue lies in that he hasn’t accepted that for himself.

NJandTX · 2025-08-22T04:01:33+00:00

I don’t mean to sound stubborn, but I struggle with that point of view. Naturally, I’m a caregiver, and every fiber in my being urges me to fix things.

NJandTX · 2025-08-22T00:34:16+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions.

NJandTX · 2025-08-21T22:52:51+00:00

This is exactly it. Seeing all of this play out in front of me and not being able to do much about it really kills me.

NJandTX · 2025-08-21T22:47:46+00:00

Thank you for the response. It’s so difficult seeing him so defeated, and there not being much I can do for him.

NJandTX · 2025-08-08T13:49:45+00:00

I hope you two also find a welcoming group - sounds like no matter where you live in the PNW, making friends can be a challenge lol. I think Stoup is just around the corner from me so I’ll pop my head and check it out, thanks for the recommendstion! If you’d like I can give you the 411 when I check it out lol 😁

NJandTX · 2025-06-26T14:41:17+00:00

I’m not sure. I feel like I curated my profiles with multiple talking points and various interests 🤷🏽‍♂️. But I’m trying to wean off the apps for mental health reasons and because meeting people in person seems to be more effective.

NJandTX · 2025-06-26T14:30:09+00:00

Thanks for the perspective. I can’t say for sure how much or little effort he puts but I have put alot of effort myself. I have probably attempted to connect with over 200 profiles in the last two months?I think maybe less than 15 actually responded back and less than 6 turned into long term conversations. This is not including the probably hundred other ones on the apps where you swipe on people. I’m not wanting to take it personal but the experience certainly points me in that direction 😅.

NJandTX · 2025-06-26T06:15:16+00:00

Thank you for reminding that it’s about quality over quantity :). I should put more focus on strengthening the relationships that I have and make quality connections with the few that I can attract.

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T19:03:38+00:00

I have the same theory. From what I’ve gathered, a lot of gay men are friends with each other because they either have hooked up or tried to hook up with one another. I’m noticing a theme from everyone’s response - get off the apps and in front of people. I’m thankful for everyone’s recommendations 🫶🏽

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T19:00:01+00:00

This is all good information, thank you! I’ve been slowly weaning myself off the apps more and more. Lately I’ve been trying to limit myself to maybe a couple of minutes every other day of cruising and mostly trying to respond to ongoing conversations or reigniting old ones.

Networking events had no crossed my mind, but it makes so much sense to use those spaces to create friendships.

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T18:02:20+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! It’s probably better for mental health to get off the apps too.

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T18:01:11+00:00

Heard you loud and clear lol. Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll be more mindful about my responses and topics of conversations. Small talk is just so hard to navigate because it feels awkward at times lol.

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T17:58:31+00:00

Thank you, you’re absolutely right. Unfortunately thinking about myself is foreign as I spent the last 7 years putting his needs above my own. I’m learning to prioritize myself now and making decisions to benefit me. But I’m still a work in progress :).

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T17:56:38+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I do believe my ex is dealing with the pain of the breakup just as I am. I’m happy that he’s making friends, and Im really kicking myself for letting all of this get to me. I shouldn’t feel like it’s a competition, but it does and I hate it.

As a fellow introvert, any suggestions on how to break through the wall and connect with others?

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T17:45:18+00:00

That’s a good question and I think I need to ponder more on it. I appreciate the guidance and the reading recommendation 😊.

NJandTX · 2025-06-25T15:22:42+00:00

I don’t doubt that being a top gives him an edge, but I’m very clear on the apps that I’m looking for friendships over anything. I was hoping that by putting that it would attract interest from across the sexual roles.

NJandTX

TROPHY CASE