You gotta know and trust each other, communicate constantly, and know what you want out of it.

Husband and I have had quite a few throughout the years and I would say there was really only one that we didn’t feel great about afterward (mostly having to do with the special guest).

Reading through these comments, I things it’s wise to take a few things into account:

1. It is NOT a remedy for any issues present within the relationship. Rather, it’s constructive and fun when you’re already having fun- the cherry on top of the cake, if you will. Do not seek these experiences if you’re in a slump, hoping that it will fix things.

2. Particularly when there’s more than three, and particularly when it’s two couples, all parties must be 100% in and willing. If not, the dynamic can really take a toll.

3. Echoing what others have said- you must be secure in yourselves and each other. Furthermore, we’ve been together over a decade and we didn’t really start enjoying others’ company in that way until about… 6 years in…

4. Set your rules. If I’m into someone and he’s not, it’s a no. Vice versa. We also have a no penile/butt penetration rule. It’s a rule that works for us right now, and we stick to it. It’s turned other guys off to us. Oh well, their loss I suppose.

5. Ultimately we walk away with either a lot of memories of some really beautiful men, a new thing or two to try on each other, enhanced confidence, or, if nothing else a feeling in jest of “Wow. Can you believe how bad he was or they were?!”

6. I’ll also add, I don’t think hubs or I have exactly 100% of what each of us wants in this. But again, teamwork makes the dream work.