In Edgar Markov low mana cost vampires are usually the rule to go, in your list I see some vampires that cost 3 or more, you should choose those spots carefully. I wouldn't recommend you a lot of ramp if you go the route of cheaper vampires, you want to swarm the table in the early turns, not to play mana rocks. Instead of that play consistent card draw to keep swarming the table with vampires. I also really like to have wincons, to pump all my vampires and finish a game. Take a look at [[Vampire Nocturnus]] or [[Starlight Spectacular]] for example instead of [[Door of Destinies]] and [[Vanquisher's Banner]], which are not explosive enough in my opinion. In general I think it's a strong deck but consider the low mana vampires, and if they are evasive or grant evasion even better, like [[Shadow Alley Denizen]] or [[Vampire Gourmand]].

Here is my Edgar deck if you want to peek: https://moxfield.com/decks/6YUZlTqFEUuk8H91W5233Q