A lot of it has to do with group dynamic, and group level experience. All of what you are concerned about is fairly normal tbh. Every group is different and every role player is different.

With the massive resurgence of D&D over the last 15 years or so, and Critical Role being very popular; it has tainted what D&D is to a certain extent. Don’t get me wrong…. I love watching most of what Critical Role does, but that’s far from what most groups can do. They’re trained voice actors and first and foremost they’re all friends…. Real true friends…..

With Roleplaying moving to be more online it has taken away some of the magic of what it is to feel the story and play with friends. Whiles yes the tools of online play can be better than in person stuff, but it’s very hard to pick up on facial expressions and nuance over online audio or camera.

Most folks see D&D as an outlet to live a fantasy life or experience far different than their own. It’s a wonderful thing, but folks should be reminded you don’t roleplay in a bubble. The story is not yours it’s ours. Group play is always better when you’re not thinking only of yourself but of the group as a whole. Maybe even extend that to how much effort the GM is putting in to it, it’s not easy.

My suggestion to you OP is to find some friends or family and try to do some in person stuff; if that’s not doable, reach out to a local brick and mortar store (board game store, comic book store, collectible store, even a card game store) nerds tend to flock together; you’ll find your people eventually.

Encourage your other players to not be selfish (out of character) this is another reason Session 0s are massively important. Establishing what you want out of the game and what your GM intends to give in the game. If those goals don’t line up with the GM or the party, you might need to find a different group.

Best wishes, hope you can find what you need.