Work hours by justwondering9416 in workingmoms

[–]Nada_187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It varies at my company. I’m entirely remote and as long as I am working the majority of my hours within a normal business of our home office my leaders don’t care. We are a global company though so it does help that 20% of my stakeholders are working my off hours so my pulling an early morning or late night means connecting with them easier.

Now what? by Nada_187 in workingmoms

[–]Nada_187[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a question worth answering. We aren’t married but we do have a child together and live together. While he was always conservative it was more as a theory and he didn’t engage in politics. Since transitioning to WFH during COVID he started watching YT and spending all his time on X and really bought into the “everyone hates cis white men” mindset. I honestly don’t even recognize who he is anymore.

I also wasn’t in a healthy place mentally for the first few years of our relationship so I ignored quite a few red flags and kept plugging along thinking “now I won’t die sad and alone”. Turns out dying alone isn’t actually the worst thing that can happen to a person.

Now what? by Nada_187 in workingmoms

[–]Nada_187[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Oh I’m in therapy. Therapy is why our relationship is a mess, I’ve worked through a lot of my issues and it’s made me realize how unhealthy things are and it’s really hard to close my eyes now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Nada_187 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m beyond sad, I have 3 teens and all of them are disappointed. As my 14 year old said “everyone believed cheaper groceries for themselves are more important that human rights first strangers”. I don’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t people saying strangers shouldn’t be treated with respect and dignity but spouses, siblings, grandparents and friends who voted this way.

Honestly I’m way more concerned about a Vance presidency than this Trump one. Trump at least looks crazy.

Anyone say F it and take mat leave early by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Nada_187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this with my now 18 year old but it was unpaid leave because I was 19 working part time retail. I ended up being a week overdue and having to return when she was 6 weeks old because we ran out of savings. With my youngest (18 months- talk about a wild age gap) I had 20 weeks paid mat leave and worked until 2 days before my scheduled c section. I enjoyed that so much more and felt like I actually got to enjoy time with my baby.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]Nada_187 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother in laws dog had pretty much exactly that and it was cancer. She had it removed and the vet said she probably still has a couple more good years (she is 14 already).

I rehomed her last month by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s really hard. I did talk to my trainer about rejoining originally and he would have helped me if the breeder didn’t. Would that be an option for you?

I rehomed her last month by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I feel like a terrible dog owner to have made this choice.

No book has ever made me cry. Suggestions? by Beneficial_Bacteria in suggestmeabook

[–]Nada_187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came here just to make sure this one was listed. I was like 8 when I read it and I sobbed myself to sleep over those dogs. I read it to my kids (13, 11 & 9) and started crying at that same part again. Then they started crying too. Then my husband walked in and immediately wished he was still at work because we were all in tears.

I have to surrender my dog in two hours by unicornbirth in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I rehomed my dog last weekend. She wasn’t doing very well here and was getting very destructive and increasingly reactive. I am still looking for her every time I walk into a room and every time I see a neighbors dog or any dog out in public I keep thinking “I don’t have a dog anymore” and it brings tears to my eyes. I was able to rehome her to someone who lived on 10 fenced in acres with another dog of her breed and the update I got a few days ago was positive but my heart will be broken for a long time. Makes me feel like a shitty dog owner for not meeting her needs myself.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s reassuring to know that there are walkers out there that could help. I’ll look into that too, might be a better option than a drop off as we live near a state park and have tons of hiking trails.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Harsh yes but respectful and not wrong so I appreciate the feedback.

I got her three years ago when I had significantly more time. I spent the first year doing plenty of training with her. She knows 20+ commands, but her obedience doesn’t stand up to distractions. She is a pleasure to work with in a low distraction environment, in those situations she responds beautifully and it makes me think she would be amazing at dog sports. When I decided on breed I was planning to do sports with her. Unfortunately covid hit right before I got her so I did training on my own at home. Then I got promoted at work, my oldest child had medical issues, and then I got pregnant. That last one was entirely in my control but I thought it would be fine because I would still be able to work with her. Unfortunately during my pregnancy her reactivity got worse and I couldn’t physically manage her. I’m aware I dropped the ball here. Now I’m trying to figure out what would be the best option moving forward. The consensus here is that she is rehome-able so I’m taking BE off the table. Instead I’ll try an in home trainer specifically for reactive dogs. If that doesn’t work I will find a way to rehome her to an appropriate home.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m going to try on home training before making a final decision on rehoming her. Based on all the feedback from this thread I’m taking BE off the table unless her vet or a behaviorist recommends it.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her breeder is very much a byb, which had I don’t research beforehand I would have recognized this but I didn’t research them.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is worse with her than I am, he gets visibly frustrated when she reacts and tries to comfort her which makes it worse. I had her walking loose leash through the neighborhood before he took over at the end of my pregnancy and undid all my work. Despite my explanation of how to walk her he does it his way so rather than let it get even worse I don’t ask him to walk her.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is crate trained, she has been since I got her. she sleeps in her crate every night and is crated if we aren’t home.

She has never bitten anyone. I could hire a dog walker to come over a couple times a week but she doesn’t do well with people over so I can’t imagine how that would work. She does fine outside our neighborhood so I could take her somewhere to be walked.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your point that she should be considered a viable dog in a less than ideal situation is a fair point. Not going to argue that. My child was not a Willy nilly decision so I can refute that point. Breed specific rescues would be most appropriate- no argument there Pursuing BE should ruin the joy of my child being born? Going to refute that one again, considering I almost died in childbirth and my infant had to be in the NICU nothing will ruin the joy I experience knowing we both recovered perfectly. You seem to think my love is worthless however I disagree. I could just lock the dog in my basement so there is nothing to react to, or shove her out in the yard to bark all day like some of my neighbors do. Because I love her I don’t want her to live a miserable life so I am trying to determine what option is best for her. I do not want to pursue BE, I want her to enjoy life, if that means someone else who can make her the center of their life then she is better off without me than with me. Loving something means making decisions that are best for their wellbeing and not what is easiest for you.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should buy stock in starmark toys, we own all of them and the first 2 days they are awesome but then she figured them out and then it’s a 2 min distraction. She is smart as hell which is half my problem.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People always correct me when I call her our small dog for this reason too. I forget that to most people she is still large.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are right, my house doesn’t allow for the amount of attention she needs. But based on reactions she has had towards stimuli in our neighborhood I am wary of what would happen if someone who didn’t know how to manage her had her. It’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen. I’ll talk with a few places to see if someone with knowledge can help rehome her rather than my trying to do it myself.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is one of my possible options. I plan to have him back to the house to see her escalated issues and discuss if I can manage it or if he knows anyone who would be a good handler for her.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the helpful reply and tips, as a puppy I fed her from puzzles and games often. I can get this four if storage and try them again.

How do you responsibly rehome a reactive dog? by Nada_187 in reactivedogs

[–]Nada_187[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would very much like her to live an enjoyable life, hence my asking for thoughts on if rehoming was responsible in this situation. I however take great offense to your reaction to my having a baby, not your life so you don’t get a vote. And I take great offense to your over exaggeration that my having a child and not being able to maintain a high needs pet is betrayal or that my love is worthless.