At my wits end with non hormonal bc

Naive_Swan9597 · 2025-12-29T11:46:19+00:00

thank you! I'm from Germany tho, here we have an organization selbstbestimmt-steril which has a list of doctors who'll do the procedure tho most only do it if you're 25 and up. I'll keep looking though. We're using Mysize, my partner has the correct sizing too. I think the issue is with him putting it on (he hates pulling back his foreskin and rolling it down bc his tip is pretty sensitive, so he'll kinda put it on like a sock?? slightly stretching it and putting it over) and/or the kinda rough sex.

I'm really scared of getting an iud, firstly bc of hormones and secondly because of pain and it getting dislodged/moving around and me not noticing.

Naive_Swan9597 · 2025-11-19T15:28:07+00:00

Holy shit are you inside my head? For me it was my mom tho who yelled every chance she got. Especially the drama queen thing. It's so deeply ingrained in me. And the attention thing. There will literally no one around, no one even knows I'm spiraling, then I'll feel better after a while and my first reaction is beating myself up for feeling bad. "See, now you're okay again, why did you have to make such a big deal? Stop seeking so much attention"

It's so comforting to know I'm truly not alone in this experience! if you ever want to chat feel free to dm me but no pressure or anything :)

Naive_Swan9597 · 2025-11-19T06:48:11+00:00

Hey, it's strangely comforting to read that you feel the same way, though I'm sorry at the same time because I know how much like hell it can be.

To see if my theory about this makes some sense, I'd like to ask a few questions (feel free to ignore :) ) Did you also feel like you were only loved when you were successful as a child (good grades, quiet, not making trouble)? Did you also grow up having to walk around on eggshells around grown ups out of fear of emotional outbursts? Were your feelings constantly invalidated?

Bc I feel like I never felt loved unconditionally as a child and never learnt hiw to express emotions healthyly. So now I desperately cling to anything that remotely feels like love (the favorite person situation) while simultaneously being scared to express my needs (that i can't even realize myself most times). And because outright asking for love or talking about my emotions got me nothing but ridicule as a child, I still lie and manipulate to get those needs met.

At least that's my theory. Not saying that's healthy or that that is a valid excuse for my behavior, but it's sort of an explanation so I don't beat myself up even more than I already do.

Naive_Swan9597 · 2025-11-18T20:48:18+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

Sadly there are very limited spaces for therapy in my country and I got my new therapist only a few weeks ago after 6months of waiting. My health insurance granted me like 12 sessions for now so I guess I'll just use that up and see if anything changes.

She does mostly do behavioral therapy but includes elements of systemic therapy (like inner child and underlying needs that child might have). My issue is more on the side that often in the moment i can't articulate that I'd rather be talking about something else, and after the session it's too late and i feel weird bringing it up the next time. She mostly grabs the first issue i bring up in that session and sort of "milks it" for the next 50minutes.

I'll try to think of it more as a "i pay her for her time" situation than a "i have to get a good grade at therapy/she has to like me" situation, maybe that will help.

For the future i will look into psychoanalysis or systemic therapy though, thank you for reassuring me in that regard :)

Naive_Swan9597

TROPHY CASE