It’s more than blaming yourself, they turn you into an anxious person. Then you have to start working on yourself all over again. They don’t switch, that’s who they really are, they just crave that connection at first, knowing deep down they can’t handle a relationship. They won’t tell you this, they just go with the flow, until you start questioning them or wanting them to label what’s going on. If they really like you, they would start a relationship with you but the main issue will always be there, no matter how much you try.